There’s A Lot of Really Good Reasons To Be A Hermit

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No you idiot….not these hermits

It’s come to my attention that way too much is coming to my attention, therefore I’ve been thinking seriously of the advantages of becoming a hermit.

I’m actually fine till I turn on the tube first thing in the morning to catch the latest news, (I refer to the news channels as the “doom & gloom” channels) and then I begin to feel my eyeballs glazing over, my brain getting clogged up with way too much to absorb, and the endless array of idiots making the news.

Then, by chance, I happened to catch a glimpse of a homeless person who had a big smile on his face. And I sez to myself, “WTF, why is this guy smiling when he’s homeless and has nothing?”

Obviously because he hasn’t watched the news or listened to any news and could give a rats ass about who said what about who. I was thinking the guy still probably thinks Jimmy Carter is President and Congress actually does things.

Which led me to think, “Hey……I could live like this guy.” Yep, I could survive quite well not knowing WTF was going on in the world. Even without social media sites.

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Makes sense to me

Just think of that concept for a moment.

Not knowing about terrorism. Not having a clue who the hell Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, Obama, Putin, or Honey Boo Boo was. Actually having a brain that was not infected with prejudice or racism about anything.

Cept maybe for an occasional stray dog that pees on you while you’re sleeping under a cardboard box on a sidewalk.'I only live here six months of the year. I have a second cardboard box in the Hamptons.'

Now you might thing I’m nuts, but, I HAVE been there at one point in my useless life. Back in the mid nineties I actually WAS homeless, living in my van, and surviving from day-to-day.

This was after a divorce, a loss of a job, and moths residing in my wallet.

BUT…..I made the best of it. AND……actually I didn’t give that rats’ ass about anything other than existing from day-to-day and saving up whatever I could from eventually driving a taxi and stashing my earnings in an empty can of SPAM that I hid under my van dashboard.

Which is the main reason I love eating SPAM today. Kind of a sentimental attachment.

Did I worry about world affairs? No. Politics? No. Racism? No. Who said what about who? No. I only cared about surviving. That was it! AND……I was happy.

YES! Happy. As poor as I was I was happy. No bills to worry about. Cept for gas in my van, and that was a not really a worry because I really didn’t drive anywhere anyhow.

There could have been all sorts of doom and gloom news stories in the news, but if there were, I never heard about them. And didn’t care either.

Seems to be working for me so far

Seems to be working for me so far

I was happy. Happy, happy, happy. And didn’t need to smoke any weed to get that happy either. Unlike today when I could use a ton of weed to make me happy. Along with a 100 milligram dose of a really good tranquilizer.

(sigh)

I’ve told my other half, Ms. “OMFG The World Is Gonna End” because she worries about EVERYTHING, including stuff like the ice-cube maker in our fridge making too many ice cubes, that if anything ever happened to her I’d do the following things.

Cancel my cable TV service because I’d not only save $109 dollars a month, but also never see another image of Wolf Blitzer screaming doom and gloom news. Along with never hearing the words “Fox News” and SNOW! PANIC……..PANIC……PANIC!!!!

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CNN: Constant News Numbness

Next I’d cancel our daily newspaper because it’s a useless piece of garbage anyhow. Cept for the comics, obits and the crossword puzzle. The only things worth reading in MY newspaper.

Next would be gluing my radio dial to a station that only plays oldies music from the 50’s thru the 60’s. I could actually understand music lyrics back then. However, I’m still attempting to figure out “The Name Game” by Shirley Ellis.

This might help……..https://youtu.be/-7NEYSKRJzA

Lastly, the Internet and my telephones.

My telephones are already perfect. Call screening. If “unknown” shows on my caller ID, hey, I don’t know you, you don’t know me, so f**k off. I ain’t answering the phone. Might even leave that message on my phone so when ya call you’ll get the message.hermit7

Now, lastly, the Internet.

Um….WAIT!

Damn! If I dump the Internet I won’t be able to post this stupid blog. F**K!!!!

Um, then again, why would I want to post this stupid useless blog if I didn’t know what the hell was going on in the world and had nothing to write about.

Hmmmmm. (thinking)

Maybe I should seek some counseling out first and see what the doc sez……………….hermit2

Ok….Ok…….I’ll keep the Internet just to whine.

Whine about what if I don’t have contact with the outside world ya ask?

Cats! Yes….the only thing I’d whine about. Cats!

Because I’d still be stuck with 3 free loading cats who would most likely eat better than me, being a hermit. That’s the bad side of being a hermit and having 3 cats.

The good news. All I’d have to deal with is “meow.”

And ya can’t get any doom and gloom bad news outta a meow.

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Just sayin.’

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WTF Is Wrong With The New Idiot Baseball Commissioner?

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Along with, thou shalt not step out of the batters box thereby delayith thy game

(NOTE) I used the word “f**k or variations of the word 40 times writing this blog. I wanted to use it more, but for the sake of actually making any sense, I managed to subdue myself. F**K!!!!

Ya know, once again the logical side of my f**king brain sez to myself, “WTF is wrong with baseball?” To which I f**king replied to myself, “NOTHING YOU DUMB F**KING ASSHOLE!!!!”

The asshole in this case, the new baseball f**king commisioner Rob Manfred. (no relation to the rock group Manfred Mann) who wants the game of baseball to be speeded up.

Obviously football fans

Obviously football fans….cept for the cat

Although, with the recent changes he’s made to the game of baseball, he might as well be related to the group because I thinkith he’s been spending waaaaay too much time playing with his f**king  “Do Wah Diddy Diddy.” Or his “Ding-A-Ling.” Your call.

Why you f**king ask?

Well I’ll tell ya in case you’ve been under a f**king rock.

Ya see, it’s like this. A bunch of idiots who run baseball, or, watch baseball and have some sort of f**king influence complained to who the f**k ever, that the game takes too long.

This is where I insert the fact that the first officially recorded game of baseball, (Hoboken, N.J.)  has been in existence since 18 f**king 65 which means that the game is (pause for f**king effect) 150 FREAKIN” YARS OLD AND WE SURVIVED WATCHING THOSE GAMES WITHOUT ASSHOLES COMPLAINING HOW LONG THE GAME TOOK BUT JUST SAT BACK ON THEIR ASSES AND ENJOYED THE F**KING GAME FOR CRIPES SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!

Most likely because everyone for all those years didn’t have better things to do with their f**king lives but watch baseball. Unlike today when they have to key in text messages on their i f**king phones, send f**king selfies of themselves, play video games, and generally zone out instead of watching the game.

Not to mention, but I will, what f**king football, unlike baseball, does to we TV viewers who do not follow football……………………

#!%$@!#!...(another way of saying.."F**K!!!!)

#!%$@!#!…(another way of saying..”F**K!!!!)

Sooooo. What has this new f**king commissioner decided to do?

Duh………goleee Gomer, I think I’ll speed up da game because it takes sooooo long to play.

According to the article in this weeks f**king TIME Magazine, “the average nine-inning baseball game takes three hours and two minutes.” OMFG!!!

But, who’s counting…..cept for the commissioner and a bunch of assholes.

HEY you stupid jerks. Ya don’t like sitting there watching a game for three hours…..here’s a f**king clue for you………………DON’T GO TO THE F**KING GAME YOU DAMN IDIOTS!

Lest we forget how they slowed the game down in the first place

Lest we forget how they slowed the game down in the first place

Those of us who love baseball don’t give a flying rats ass how long the game is.

Why?

Because we love baseball you dumb asses.

Hey! I got an idea. Let’s, while we’re at it shorten the time it takes to play football.

(can ya hear football fans screaming if that were to happen)

The average length of a professional f**king football game is….pay attention here folks…..An average professional football game lasts 3 hours and 12 minutes, but if you tally up the time when the ball is actually in play, the action amounts to a mere 11 minutes.

YES! Eleven minutes of actual f**king play time because they continually stop the game to do what the f**k it is they do when they’re not actually playing f**king football. Like inserting a gazillion commercials during the game or conversing with each other during a huddle.

“Hey Bruno, nice throw on that last pass. By the way, your butt sure looks cute when you bend over in these huddles.”

“Oh gee, thanks Homer. Yours doesn’t look so bad either.”footb1 footb1

But do ya hear anybody complainin’ about the length of THOSE games? Do ya punk?

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Because you f**king football fans love football and can’t get enough of it as it is. If it could be 12 hours long and played 365 plus days a year you’d all be in pig, or, for the sake of this blog, “pigskin” heaven.

And you all know I’m right.

So now, (thanks f**king assholes) baseball batters will now have to keep one foot in the batter’s box, lest they actually (Gawd forbid) step outta the box completely and adjust their crotch or something and hold up the game. AND….on top of that, a clock in the stadium will count down the time between innings so that those pesky advertisers can’t sneak in an extra few seconds for an additional commercial.

Which basically means instead of Linette Beaumont doing an entire sexy commercial for Viagra, (which may explain why baseball batters grab their crotches a lot) you’ll only get to see Linette maybe once during a commercial break minus the wetting her lips part. Which could lead to more batters grabbing their freakin’ crotches.

Which would obviously hold up the game even more.

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Ask your doctor if taking Viagra while watching baseball will make YOUR bat hard

Now I’m not alone on this bitch session. So don’t go all f**king apeshit if you think I’m being somewhat ballistic all by my lonesome self.

Red Sox slugger David Ortiz, (Big Papi) also agrees with me that the baseball commissioned is a f**king asshole.

Um…well, he didn’t actually put it exactly that way, but……close.

His actual comment: “I call that bullshit.”

(TIME Magazine felt it necessary to censor the word “bullshit” lest we actually see it in print and be traumatized)

Kinda like me censoring the word f**k throughout this blog. But, only because, unlike “bullshit,” which is a normal thing for bulls to do, the word “f**k” when seen by little kiddies and politically correct f**king people drives them bonkers.

And I don’t wanna have to write another blog about politically correct people leaving comments on my blog site because I actually typed out the word “f**k.

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I think we’re f**ked

In conclusion……..considering I DID censor the word “f**k to make my point on how f**king stupid the baseball commissioner is and those new rules are which is supposed to speed up the game, which, in my own feeble opinion needs no speeding up……..

TAKE THIS COMMISSIONER MANFRED>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Hey Commish......we're f**king BOSTON STRONG!!!

Hey Commish……we’re f**king BOSTON STRONG!!!

Ya gotta admit………sometimes the visual effect says it all.

Just sayin.’

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Every So Often Ya Have To Do A Cat Blog……..Sooooooooooo……..

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CAT BLOG!!!

First of all, as I’ve stated in the past, I was brought up many eons ago as a dog person. Mainly because I had no idea what a freakin’ cat was. (I led a very secluded life)

THAT….and the fact that my parents always decided what pet we would have. AND…I never really paid any attention to cats….if I actually saw one….which I can’t recall ever seeing.

I dunno, maybe there was a ban on owning a cat in my neighborhood. Or dogs ate them. Who knows.

Anyhow, my introduction to cats, or, A CAT, happened back in the late 90’s when I was dating and this cat kept hanging around my girlfriend’s patio scrounging for food or an occasional handout or a mouse.

When we split up, my girlfriend, not the cat, she worried that the cat would be traumatized by not having a place to beg for food, or mice. So she talked me into taking that cat home and that’s how it all began. Owning a cat.

Fast forward 15 years later and I’m still, as I like to call it, “catted.”

CATS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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My every morning routine. Which explains why I need spell check

Well, three of them considering at one time we had six.

Which is when my allergies began. Which an allergist determined was due to cats. Go figure.

But, if you love cats and are allergic to them, you either deep six the cats or put up with the allergies. Like being caught between a rock and a hard place. In my case, between dust bunnies and furballs.

So, we, the cats and I, try to coexist.

And, before you suggest it, I’ve tried every allergy medication known to man and none of them work.

WHY?

Mainly because in THIS house, cats rule. Again….THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!!!!!

On my sofa as I’m sitting here writing. On the kitchen table bench as I eat. Staring at me when I go to the bathroom. Sitting in my lap when I’m on my PC. Walking across my pillow every night and pawing at me if I don’t pay attention to them.

mmmmm

Now available at Sears

Or, one of them. Which I’ve nicknamed “Dinozzo” after NCIS Anthony Dinozzo and because she constantly uses her nose to nose me. Hence, Dinozzo.

Her actual name is Olivia, but to me, Dinozzo would suit her much better.

Then there’s Cassie. She’s a petite calico that insists on walking across my pillow each night, sneezing, kneading, meowing, and on occasion, hacking up a furball. usually at 2am. Then at 5am she resumes the same routine so that I’ll get up and feed her. The others join in as well. It’s a freakin’ conspiracy to drive me nuts I tell ya.

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At least its not cat butt

My other half usually ignores that because, as all women know, if they hold out long enough a man will crack and give in to the cats and they can just roll over and go back to sleep.

With one exception………………….

Which I do on occasion as well

Which I do on occasion as well

The last cat is the only one out of the three who truly is a man’s cat. Sleeps 23 out of 24 hours a day. Rarely meows unless he wants a snack. Never sits on me or walks across my computer. And is the only one who waits for me to come home when I’m gone. Even my other half doesn’t do that! Well cept for the sleeping part. And only because “I’M” up at 5am feeding the damn cats while she’s still sleeping.

But, all in all I must admit having cats is better than having a dog.

WHY?

Can you say, l-i-t-t-e-r-b-o-x.

YES! While I’m sneezing my butt off from allergies, especially during the Winter months when the windows are all closed, I gaze out my window at the 5 feet of snow piled up and the 10 degree cold and see some poor bastard walking his dog till Rover decides to find the right spot and do its thing.

While I continue to sneeze, but warmly, and still in my PJ’s while my cats gingerly head down to a nice warm basement and do THEIR THING in the litter box.

No freezing MY butt off waiting for a dog to find a fire hydrant and lift its leg.lets hear it for the cat cart

So, It’s not that bad owning cats. I stock up on a lot of nose tissue, breathe strips, duct tape, (for getting rid of cat fur on my pillow) and a super Shark vacuum cleaner that scarfs up furballs in a millisecond.

As far as my allergies are concerned…………………I deal with it.

After all, I was married two times, and eventually found out I was allergic to marriage, and eventually found a cure, (divorce) and it worked out just fine.

So, either I’ll continue to hope that I’ll find an allergy medication that actually works, or, they (the cats) will out live me and I won’t have to worry about it.

Me thinkith the latter will happen first.

Just sayin.’

mmmmm

Yum……….

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Send WordPress A “Heads Up.”

Just a short blurb here folks. There’s been a lot of discontent with the WordPress site since they forced their new site changes on us. I for one sent them an e-mail, and they never responded.

Maybe, if they read this I’ll be exiled or something. BUT….WTF……DILLIGARA!rats ass

So, I suggest if you are one who does not like these new changes, start leaving comments on their site.

Maybe….jussssssssssssssst maybe they’ll get a clue.

If not….well, ……………………………………..mad6

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It’s Not Easy Being A Dick….(sigh)

dick22 First of all, because I know you’re all thinking of that line, “NO! I do not have any gum on my Dick.” Or, as I have endured for many years, “Hey! Got any gum on ya Dick?”

That said, I have no idea how you get “Dick” outta someone named “Richard.” Or how a man’s body part got to be called a Dick in the first place.

Sooooo, being a bit curious, as to why a “Dick” (penis) should be called a “Dick” (not me) I went surfing on the Web to find out exactly how this came to be. And what son-of-a bitch I can blame for calling a penis a Dick.

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Nicknamed “Virgin” for short

Here’s an explanation:

“A few years after Edward Ward published his poem, the name Roger also came to denote penis. This was, in fact, the first of several male given names to be bestowed on that part of the male anatomy—Thomas followed in 1811, Dick in 1891, Peter in 1902 and Willie in 1905. To some extent, the application of these names to the penis occurred simply because those names were considered typically male, the kind of name that Joe Blow or any Tom, Dick or Harry might have. […] With Peter, however, there may be an additional reason why it came to denote penis: that name derives from the Greek petros, meaning stone, a material whose hardness might recall the firmness of an erection. The word is still used with that stony sense in the name saltpeter, a chemical compound that was once given to young men and soldiers to reduce their sexual ardour. […] Last names, too, have been bestowed on the penis, such as Johnson, which dates back to the mid nineteenth century but has recently gained wide currency.”

Hmmmm. So because those names like Roger, Thomas, Dick, Peter and Willie were considered to be male, if ya had a penis, which is standard equipment in males, then it would seem logical that your body part would then be called one of those names.

And, as also pointed out, if your last name was “Johnson” you got, (pardon the pun ) sucked into that penis association stuff as well. But as far as I’m concerned, “Dicks” take the brunt of penis abuse.

I mean, look, would it sound the same if your name was any of the other ones mentioned above and someone, for example, called you a Rogerhead, Thomashead, Peterhead or Williehead?

NO! But call someone a “Dickhead” and everyone knows what the hell you meant.

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Hey ET, be thankful it’s not Dickhead

And “Johnson”…………….WTF!

How many Johnson jokes can ya crack?

“Hey, got any gum on your Johnson?”

“Hey, does your Johnson come in 28 flavors?”

Wille and Woody I don’t get either. Well, ya gotta cut “Woody” a bit of slack there because we all know what happens when a guy gets turned on. He gets a “woody” but NOT a Willie. No disrespect to anyone named Willie who may get a woody on various occasions.

But getting back to “Dick.” By far this is the most common slang word for a penis. By the way……has anyone EVER met a guy who’s real first name was “Penis” and THEN then called him “Dick” for short? Just a thought there.

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WHAT! No “Dick!”

Anyhow, throughout my entire lifetime I rolled with the flow whenever anyone asked me if I had “gum on me” or my Dick, by simply carrying gum in my pocket and giving those wisenheimers the choice of a newly unwrapped piece of gum or the one that I was chewing and, if desired, could actually place it on my “dick” if they preferred it that way. Usually they opted for the wrapped one. Thank Gawd.

I did get called other names besides Dick. Usually nicknames which turned out to be much less associated with a body part. Like, “Vicc” because my last name was too hard to pronounce so my friends shortened it rather than slur a bunch of vowels that somehow seem threatening to anyone attempting to pronounce a long Italian name.

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Yeah, I gets it, but ya know….youse don’t looka Italian

And….if you’ve always wondered how nicknames came to be……………..

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The origin of nicknames

Yes, there are times I get called, “Dickster” as well. But, it doesn’t seem as penis related as  being called “Dick.”

And my other half always calls me “Dick” all the time and never once asked me if I had any gum either. Although, I suspect that she avoids any Dick/penis references because she’s afraid it might give me ideas (sex) and we men all know that’s the LAST thing any woman who you’re married to wants to happen.

So, in conclusion, I’m stuck being a “Dick” for the rest of my life. (I disowned my parents many years ago for naming me Richard)

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Damn you mom!!!!!

But, after reading that last reference to “Joe” in those explanations of names and penises above, I don’t feel so bad anymore. I’d rather endure the “Dick” and “gum” jokes than be called “Joe Blow.” Gawd knows what the hell guys named Joe had to endure.

“Hey Joe…….heh, heh, ya wanna…………me”

Just sayin.’

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Where TF Is Spring? WAIT!!!! Do I Really Want It To Come?

This cartoon from the comic strip “Non Sequitur” by Wiley says it all………..001

Which leads most normal people to say to themselves…….”YES……WHERE THE F**K IS SPRING FOR GAWD’S SAKE!!!!” (as I sit here on the fourth day of Spring looking out my living room window at the snow falling and a squirrel banging on my patio window begging for food.

I WAS ready for Spring, then, I quickly regained my sanity and wished for more Winter weather once my other half dragged out her list of things that needed to be done as soon as the weather got better.

As we men all know, when it comes to Spring, we immediately think of things like sprucing up our vehicles after a long rough winter. Baseball, golf, firing up the barbecue, and in general just relaxing out in the yard doing enjoyable stuff like…………………WAIT!!!!

WTF IS THIS?????

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes…..it’s the one thing all men cringe at the site of…..the dreaded “Spring To Do List.”

All Winter long. while us men are either watching football, or frolicking in the snow, (otherwise known as shoveling our butts off) women are sitting comfortably in the house compiling a list, (usually several pages long) of things that need to be done come Spring.

This “list thing” comes from a gene that is implanted in all women upon birth.

Soooooo……..before I tell you what’s on my “to do” list, a look at women’s logic once again.

WHY? Because if you’re a man, and you get that “to do” list you obviously study it intensely and arrange things that your other half wants you to do in order of “importance.” Which…of course, is using what we men laughingly refer to as “logic.”todo5

Soooooooooooooo. On my list was what “I” thought was of immediate “importance” considering the boss went into a ballistic state of panic if THIS were not taken care of immediately, which, during the Winter was totally impossible, which, almost drove me insane. Not the problem, but HER!!!

Ya see, we had water coming into our basement from our outside stairs which are level with our driveway sidewalk and therefore the melting snow and a good rainstorm allowed water to find its way down the stairs, under the basement door and into the rest of the basement.

Now, to ME, being totally illogical, THAT was FIRST on my “to do” list.

Should I hit her with the wrench or just drown her.....

Should I hit her with the wrench or just drown her…..

So, I sez to her, “Yep, as soon as the weather breaks and the 50 feet of snow is gone and I can find our shed, I’m gonna build a riser on the sidewalk so the water can’t come in.”

“To which she replies, “But I want the outside windows painted first.”

Once again thoughts of where to bury her body crossed my mind. Perhaps submerged in two feet of water after the next rain storm and claiming that she must have tripped while in the basement and drowned and I didn’t know it because I was busy outside painting the windows.

So ya see women logic there in order of importance.

This should explain it all

This should explain it all

Now, just to vent about what’s on my list.. Other than those windows and water problem. In no particular order.

1, Paint the entire kitchen. Why? She doesn’t like the color that SHE picked out when I painted it 3 years ago.

2. Go up on the roof and clean all of the leaves out of the drains. Actually this one I don’t mind at all because she’s terrified of climbing ladders and I can basically dog it for hours up there in peace and quiet without her bugging me. Good place for a snooze too.todo8

3. Fix a piece of the ceiling that water managed to seep in thru back in 1985 and never has had water come in again. (NOTE) In my defense, I waited to fix that for a bit just to make sure water would not come in again. Like 15 years.

4. Take all of the stuff that I’ve accumulated over my lifetime to the Goodwill Store. This is so that she can have room for all of the stuff she’s accumulated in her lifetime.

5. Add shelves to that new shed I built in the yard last summer just in case after getting rid of all my stuff that I took to Goodwill she still doesn’t have enough room for her stuff in the house.

6. Plant new grass in the front of the house. Which I’ve done for the past 8 years. Which never grows. Nor does anything else. BUT…it makes her and the people who sell grass seed happy.

mmmm

But at least it was green dear

There’s more things to do on her list but I’m not going to list all of them because my eyes are bleeding now just writing about what I have to do. AND….for any women reading this, I don’t wanna give them any ideas…..lest I get death threats from their husbands.

So, the next time you run into any guy who’s not married, or is divorced, and he always has a big smile on his face………..now you know why.

The only thing on HIS “to do” list is………….todo2

Just sayin.’

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WTF Is The Problem With Sam Elliott?

Something is afoot here with Sam Elliott.

Now THIS is the way I think of Sam Elliott…………….

OK...Ok....so he does kinda look like you know who, (God0 but that's just in this photo....I think

OK…Ok….so he does kinda look like you know who, (God) but that’s just in this photo….I think

Um…..ok….jusssssssssssssst in case I made a mistake and that photo above IS of God, here’s another one that I’m pretty sure is NOT God, but Sam Elliott……

Pretty sure THIS is NOT God

Pretty sure THIS is NOT God

So anyhow, I really like the guy. I think he’s a great actor. Liked him in that rough and tough kick butt movie “Roadhouse” starring Patrick Swayze. Really enjoyed him in the Christmas movie “Prancer” where he played a little girls dad.

And, of course, because I own a Dodge Ram, I realllllllly like his Ram commercials. Yep….we all know it’s that deep manly grab you by the balls voice that does it in those Ram commercials. Makes ya wanna go out and buy three or four Rams.

BUT…….something is afoot here with Sam Elliott.

First of all it’s his neck. WTF is wrong with his neck for cripes sake?

Observe these photos carefully as I make my point.

It started here with a slight lean to the right

It started here with a slight lean to the left

Then to the right again

Then to the right

Then waaaaaay over to the right

Then waaaaaay over to the left again

Then back over to the left

Then back over to the right

What the hell is wrong with his head….or neck? He can’t keep it up straight. Even when playing with a bunny rabbit!

mmmmmm

Eh….what’s up with yer neck doc?

Elliott is now starring in the TV series “Justified” on “FX” and it’s quite evident that his neck problem is getting a lot worse. It’s either tilting to the right or the left, which makes it very hard to look the guy directly in his eyes when you’re talkin’ to him.

Not to mention, but I will, “I” get a freakin’ crick in MY neck just watchin’ him.

THEN…..if things weren’t bad enough, Elliott goes and shaves off his moustache, has short hair, and now, looks like this.

MMMM

WHAT?

So when he smiles, he kinda resembles…..um……..(thinking)

SHAZAM!!!!

YES!!!

MMMMM

THE JOKER!!!!!

I’m tellin’ ya, put some lipstick on Sam and a little coaching from Jack Nicholson, and ya got the next Joker in the next Batman movie. Cept for that head problem.

Now if you haven’t watched “Justified” catch it next week (Tuesday) before the season is over because this IS the last season, or before they knock off Elliott, as they do with just about anyone who guest stars in this show.

Which is the main reason I personally turned down a request to star in a cameo role.

Or Sam dies from some complications related to his neck problem.

Personally, I still like the guy. But he really needs to grow that moustache back, let his hair get longer, and see a chiropracter….fast!

As far as his role in “Justifed” goes, I KNOW they’re gonna knock him off very soon.

Now if I were writing this show, in a touch or irony, I’d have Marshall Raylan Givens confront Sam, a fight break out, Sam makes a break for it, gets into his Dodge Ram 25,000,000 and a chase scene ensues.

Sam, doing 75 mph in his Dodge Ram, crashes it after Raylan shoots out one of the tires, stumbles out of the truck, looks at the Ram and sees that there’s no damage, and just before he croaks from his injuries, turns towards the camera, and says…….

“Godamn Raylan…….them Dodge trucks are Ram tough.”raylan2

Just sayin.’

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