What Difference Does It Make……….

bengh23

The five most important words in the world…….according to which side of the political aisle your on. “What Difference Does It Make.”bengh1

However, political aisles aside, I for one, really appreciate the media and politicians using Hillary Clinton’s famous words, (even though the rest of the quote was edited) because I discovered those five words finally give us men a response similar to the one women use when ya ask them to explain their reasoning.

Like for instance when you ask a woman, “Hey, wanna mess around tonight?”

And she replies, “No.”

So you, obviously wanna know why and ask, “Why not?”

And she replies, “Because.”

Yep, the ol “because” explanation. And we men all know that’s as far as you’ll ever get to getting an explanation.

That Pesky 'Why' Chromosome.

That Pesky ‘Why’ Chromosome.

NOW….yes…NOW its our turn to respond in our own “because” mode you man hunks.

I, for one, have utilized those famous five words since day one. (thank you Hillary)

For instance: As many of you may have discovered, this has been a great season for ants. Ants everywhere. My other half’s favorite saying when it comes to finding an ant on our kitchen counter is, “F**king ants!”

Although, I must admit I have never seen an ant doing that.

Which also raises the question, how exactly DO ants do that?

Come to think of it I’ve never seen the birds and the bees doing that either.

Yea....me too....go figure

Yeah….me too….go figure

Oh, sorry, I’m getting off track here.

Besides being short, I also have a short attention span.

Anyhow, I went out and bought some ant cups and so far she’s only spotted one or two “f**king ants.”

Now I can completely understand her frustration with “f**king ants” in the kitchen. BUT……we’re sitting out on the outside deck and once again she’s complaining about those f**king ants” OUTSIDE!!!!!

To which I reply, “What difference does it make?”  (editing, of course, the rest of my comment which was, “They’re SUPPOSED to be outside for cripes sake!”)

BUT…I felt if it works for the media to cut quotes, hell, why not for me too.

Ba-da-boom-ba-da-bing....

Ba-da-boom-ba-da-bing….

Another one of my bad habits that make her go bonkers is when I, (Gawd forbid) put a small frying pan on a big burner on our stove. Now my thinking is, bigger burner, more heat. Hers is because you’re not supposed to put a small frying pan on a big burner……to which I once again respond, “What difference does it make?”

And editing my last sentence, (to please the media) “either way the food is gonna get cooked!”

Men's Intuition: 'Oh, I can tell from that look you're never going to let this go.'

Plastic store bags. OMFG! We save all our plastic store bags for cat poop. Sooooo, obviously in comparison to cat poop on a daily basis and shopping, our plastic bags outnumber the number of cat poop one can scoop up in one day. Hence we have a LOT of plastic bags.

So the other day she’s all bent outta shape because ONE plastic bag has a hole in it. Again, OMFG!!!! Crisis.

So she complains to me, “Ya know, I’m gonna hafta go through all these plastic bags and get rid of the ones with holes in them.”

To which I reply, “What difference does it make?” (Again, editing the last part of my comment which was) We’ve got a gazillion plastic bags, just  throw that one away and use another one.”

Thinking in my mind, “Who TF in their right mind is gonna spend an hour checking out each and every plastic bag.

Um….strike that last thought……she would.

The last time I got busted after leaving a WalMart

The last time I got busted after leaving a WalMart

My final episode of “What difference does it make”………………feeding the birds in our backyard.

Like all of us have at some point or another have forgotten about leftovers in the refrigerator. So, obviously things tend to grow fur on them if they’ve been in the fridge too long.

What to do?

To me, the obvious would be to throw them out in the back yard and let some stray critter come along and scarf down those scraps.

BUT…….my other half…..again….”OMFG……the food is moldy, we can’t let them eat that!!!!!!”

Yes…..you guessed it, my reply, “What difference does it make?” (again editing the last part of my comment) “Ya ever see animals and birds and whatever eating road kill for cripes sake! And YOU”RE freakin’ worried about MOLD!!!!!”

'My doctor wants me to cut back on road salt.'

‘My doctor wants me to cut back on road salt.’

So ya see, that famous line, “What difference does it make,” really comes in handy. I’m sure all of you guys can now follow my lead and employ the use of that line in a lot of instances. You can thank me later.

OR…..not wanting to slight my Republican friends, you can alter The Donald’s line of, “We’re really gonna make America great again,” by simply altering it a bit and saying to your other half, “We’re really gonna make this relationship great again…..really great.”

After all, in the end, considering women are (cough) always right, “What difference does it make.”

Just sayin.’

 

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Mysteries of Life…um….Well “MY” Life Anyhow

Some times I like to go back in time just to see if my mind is as warped today as it was a few years ago when I began writing this stupid blog.  Today I went back to June of 2010 and read the blog about what mysteries there are in life….according to me.

Besides the two main mysteries of life that have always baffled me…..like…..

Like do UFO's really exist.....

Like do UFO’s really exist…..

Which, I assume they do, otherwise how do ya explain this…………..

Unidentified flying Nixon

Unidentified flying Nixon

Anyhow, I proved my point, I AM still demented and still think the same. Much to my relief. BUT…..back then in 2010 I listed (below) what mystifies me, and today, 2016, they still do. Goes to show ya, somethings never change.

Sooooooooo, as I said,  there are a lot of mysteries of life, but the ones that I constantly think about are:

Seers. You know, those people who can see into the future, and sometimes, your bathroom window if you leave the shade up. My question is, if these people can see into the future, then how come none of them are winning the lottery, like Powerball.  Hey, if you can see into the future then you should be able to pick out tomorrow’s winning number.

I rest my case on that one.fortune2

Sex.  This one always baffles the hell outta me…..and most guys I might add.  Why is it that when you’re dating sex is never a problem. Back seat of a car, in the woods, on an airplane, on the floor, in bed, anytime and any place. But…..the minute you tie the ol knot……all of a sudden things change.  You suggest various places to have sex, and you’re labeled a pervert.  If you ask for sex more than once a month, you’re a pervert. If you attempt to initiate sex at night in the bedroom….well, for the most part all guys know a woman’s response to this one.

We’re screwed again…….um…..not literally…..just plain screwed.deaf3

(Last time I checked there were several bottles of various brands of headache medicine, still sealed, in our cabinet. (ya have to think about that one)

Why is it that gas prices vary from mile to mile, state to state and gas station to gas station even though they’re the same brands of gas? Doesn’t gas come from the same places?  Yesterday I drove from one state to another with gas starting out at $2.89 to a low of $2.70 and these were all the same brand. I don’t get it! I won’t mention the name (Mobil) but something is screwy here.gas prices

Electric cars are on the horizon as the replacement for the gas I just bitched about. BUT……does this mean I can plug my car into my regular outside outlet or do I have to buy a new device?  And if I run out of..um…..electricity….do I pull up to a new electric service station, plug-in my do dad, and off I go……for a price of course…….which will most likely be the same as you pay now for a gallon of gas. We’re screwed again!

This cartoonist thinks like me.....

This cartoonist thinks like me…..

Why is it when you screw up big time, make the headlines, and either go to jail or get a slap on the wrist, you wind up with a damn reality show?  Geez, I’ve been screwing up for years and the only reality I ever got was more damn reality. Think I’m screwing up in the wrong places.  Either that, or I don’t know enough important people. Come to think of it, I really don’t know anyone important.  Screwed again!

WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mmmmm

Does having my old friend and recording artist Willie Loco Alexander count as knowing someone famous? (Willie is on the right and I’m the dwarf on the left) (1970’s)

What’s with bathroom tissue commercials anyhow? Do you really care about just how many sheets there are in a roll?  If you do, seek help immediately. All I care about when using bathroom tissue is does it get the job done. My companion, on the other hand, cares which way the roll is fed off of the bathroom dispenser. (this is a woman thing)tp1

Here’s one that’s been featured on a TV commercial recently.  You can go all day long at home without having to pass gas, (fart) until you venture out somewhere and in  a crowd of people. (usually elevators) THEN……….like magic, the sudden urge to fart your brains out happens.  I swear, this happens all of the time.  No one sits next to me anymore. (sigh)fart2

(I might add that if one goes to any casino or concert, you can get away with letting nature take it’s course without anyone being the wiser.  Most of the time…..depending what you ate prior to the event and if you feel that you can actually trust your judgement as to what is merely a fart or something more pressing…..it’s a gamble either way)

My final mystery, at least one that’s baffled me for eons, is Murphy’s Law.  Which is, anything that can go wrong will most likely go wrong, or something to that effect. So, I’m assuming that Murphy spent his entire life compiling a list of things that went wrong in his life and after a while knew that anything that could go wrong, actually did. I think he shot himself years ago after determining that nothing was ever going to go right for him. I’ve since taken over for him because, for me, nothing seems to ever go right….or left for that matter…..except politics.ml2

And I’m not going to go into the mystery of politics and life. That’s all a mystery of its own, which would have driven Mr. Murphy off the deep end much sooner.

Oops…..elections are just around the corner……..the deep end does seem rather inviting.

Which poses yet another mystery.  Where exactly IS the “deep end?”

OK......that answers THAT question.

OK……that answers THAT question.

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How To Make A Marriage Last…..Move To Mars

'They're colonizing Mars! Maybe you should write up a whole new set of rules for them!'

Now for the record, marriage and surviving a marriage can be a real challenge. There are many factors that contribute to marriages failing.

Besides divorce.

Speaking for men, or, as a man I should say, which I just did, if you were paying attention, in my opinion the two most reasons marriages fail is when a woman sez, “Not tonight dear, I have a headache,” and that other classic line, “Because.”

For women, and, not being a woman, I can only “guess” that their reasons would be because all men, after years of marriage, are insensitive couch potato beer drinking football addictive slugs. The second reason, (I’m guessing here so cut me some slack women) we always have sex on the brain. mens brain2

Soooooooo, how do ya make a marriage last? You volunteer to be one of the first married couples to fly to Mars. Which I might add is a one way no return trip.

So basically if the marriage doesn’t work, you’re both screwed. Or not, depending if females can get headaches while living on Mars.

Far fetched ya think?

Well hold on to your retro rockets. It can happen and YOU and your true love can get in on this once in a lifetime (literally) opportunity.

mmmmm

Hmmmm…….”Stem Education?”

In January 2018 Dennis Tito and his “Mission For America” aerospace team will attempt to send two people on a budget-class fly of Mars. Possibly so that you can determine if you wanna go back and attempt to be the first to colonize the planet.tito1

Then possibly have the chance to return, land, and become the red planet’s Adam and Eve.

OR…….Bob and Carol……….whatever.

Oops......

Oops……

There may be a ban on carrying apples on this flight if ya catch my drift. (Serpent factor….jusssst in case)

The entire trip, if you count returning from the fly by, will take about 501 days. So, as Tito sez, “When you’re out that far you’re going to need someone you can hug.”

Or……..whatever.

(My first choice would NOT be a hug)

Tito, 72, won’t fly the mission. Instead, he will send a man and woman — preferably married — to fairly represent humanity.

Sounds kinda logical to me.tito5

I would suggest to Mr. Tito that he enlist a recently married couple as the odds of them not killing one another after being in a cramped space capsule for 501 days would seem a better bet.

OR……..should it be very difficult to find a young married couple, considering young married couples really wanna get it on a lot with each other, unlike older couples, so why should they volunteer in what may be a short-lived marriage, then I would suggest getting an older couple.

Yeaaaa....we're goin' to Mars

Yeaaaa….we’re goin’ to Mars

Perhaps some old coot on Viagra and his babe who could really take advantage of a four-hour erection considering what the hell else would one do in space for 501 days.

BUT………obviously his spouse would have to be hypnotized to eradicate the word “because” from her brain, be verrrrry fertile, and most of all, the ship would have to be stocked with prescription strength headache medication.

OR….if they’re really not 100% sure this space trip will make it back, go to the “Eternal Happiness Rest Home” and find some old couple who don’t give a rats ass about ANYTHING and getting THEM to volunteer. After all, what the hell else do they have to look forward to.

Death perhaps….either way it’s a win win situation.

mmmm

Along with a ticket to Mars

So, in conclusion, if you are actually a bit intrigued by this one in a lifetime, (again literally) opportunity you can look up millionaire mission sponsor Dennis Tito via the Internet and get your name on the list. Especially if you’re planning your wedding sometime in 2018 when the trip to Mars is scheduled.

Or………if you are one of those people who are absolutely terrified that Donald Trump may become President of the Yew United States and just wanna leave the country….or in this case, the world.

Just sayin.

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Reprise Sunday – The Golden Oldies…..Kinda

“Sniff….brings back memories that just touches my heart.”

Sundays I like to go back and dredge up a blog you may have missed, and, also because it’s too freakin’ hot to write. So, from July 2010, a MisfitWisdom oldie but goodie, (literally) yet still very timely.

Enjoy.goldenoldies2

 

Being a golden oldie myself, having played Beatles records on the radio when they were first released, I think it’s time to re visit some of those gems and adapt them to people, places, things and society in general.

Here’s my take on how I’d rename some of those oldies.

THEN                                                                                   NOW

Addicted To Love-Robert Palmer     Addicted To Drugs-Rush Limbaughlimbaugh

Be Bop A Lula-Gene Vincent              Be Bop A Ga Ga-Lady Ga Ga

Ball Of Confusion-Temptations          Ball Of Confusion-MLB Umpiresump3

Blinded By The Light-Manfred Mann  Blinded By The Light-Laser Docs

Classical Gas-Mason Williams            Classical Gas-The Senior Farts

Do You Know The Way To San Jose-Dionne Warwick

Do You Know The Way To San Jose My GPS Is Broken-(D W Remake)

GPS: 'Sorry return to the main road.'

GPS: ‘Sorry return to the main road.’

Forty Miles Of Bad Road-Duane Eddy  Forty Miles Of Bad Road-Tori Spelling

Frankenstein-Edgar Winter Group    FrankenPurdue-Purdue Chickens

Golden Years-David Bowie                  Golden Years-The AARP Singersaarp

Good Vibrations-Beach Boys               Good Vibrations-The Dildos

Jack & Diane-John Cougar                   Jack & Marilyn-The Kennedys

Laughing-Guess Who                           Laughing-Gov. Sanford’s Ex

Love Theme From Romeo & Juliet-Henry Mancini

Love Theme From Sandra & Jessie-Sandra Bullock

mmmmm

Good move Romeo…..

My Cup Runneth Over-Ed Ames       My Cup Runneth Over-Charlie Sheen

No Matter What Shape Your Stomachs In-T-Bones

No Matter What Shape Your Stomachs In-Gov. Chris Christiechristie1

Reach Out & Touch Somebody’s Hand-Diana Ross

Reach Out & Touch Somebody’s Hand-Sen. Larry Craigcraig1

S.O.S-Abba                                                        S.O.S.-U. S. Congress

The Safety Dance-Men Without Hats     The Safety Dance-The Trojans

Silence Is Golden-Tremeloes       Silence Is Golden-Justice Ginsberg

Suspicious Minds-Elvis Presley   Suspicious Minds-Nat. Enquirer

Talk Dirty to Me-Poison               Talk Dirty to Me-Louis Black

!@#&%$#!!...WTF

!@#&%$#!!…WTF

Tell Laura I Love Her-Ray Peterson

Tell Laura I Love Her-George W. Bush

Theme From Close Encounters-John Williams

Theme From Close Encounters-Bill Clintonbillc

To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before-Willie Nelson & Julio Iglesias

To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before-Mick Jagger

Trouble Is My Middle Name-Bobby Vinton

Trouble Is My Middle Name-Justin Bieber

Wasted Days & Wasted Nights-Freddy Fender

Wasted Days & Wasted Nights-The New Fall TV Lineup Group

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On-Jerry Lee Lewis

Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On-Shaker & The Detoxins

Can’t Buy Me Love-The Beatles     Can’t Buy Me Love-The Hookers

Ok guys....and ya wanna vote for Trump why?

Ok guys….and ya wanna vote for Trump why?

Well, there ya have it.  I’m sure many of you can come up with your own version of twists on songs to fit today’s uptight society.

My favorite is the one song at the very beginning of today’s blog recorded many eons ago by two guys in Massachusetts.

I think, however, the title says it all.  At some point we “ALL” are as the song title indicates.

Everybody has one.

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Why I Think Bruce Jenner Changed Genders………….Men’s Clothes Suck!

Fittings for jeans: Cept slim skinny

Fittings for jeans: Cept slim skinny short guys

In fact,I think a lot of males who have had a sex change to female might have done it for one reason and one reason only.

MEN’S CLOTHING SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!bruce2

Now I can only speak for myself, but, considering I can NEVER find anything that fits me perfectly, specifically jeans, BUT when I shop in a store with my other half I see all sorts of jeans that would fit me to a “T”, I can completely understand why guys might consider transgender surgery.

Women’s clothes are far better than men’s. Well, at least for most women who use common sense when shopping.jeans11

Not that I’d opt for transgender surgery mind you, or wear women’s clothing, (at least not in public….only kidding) but it totally pisses me off.

Now let me explain my frustration further. I’m 5 feet 4 inches tall. I weigh about 142 and my jeans have to be a 33 to 34 waist with a 29 inseam and they have to be labeled “slim/skinny” or “straight/skinny.” Which basically means the leg is almost tight and the cuff bottom is narrow.

Otherwise if I buy anything else it appears that I am floating in my jeans and have no visible feet.

mmm

Um…..great…now can ya get me some oxygen

Sooooooo. Do ya think I can find any? Of course not. Yes, I can find my waist size, (sometimes…but not very often….because stores cater to fat males and skinny women) BUT, I can’t find my 29″ inseam.

And those bastards lie when they label those jeans as “29”, which by the way is a rarity, because when I go to the tailor, they still have to take off 2 to 3 inches off the length. WTF!

But women….SHAZAM….EVERYTHING FITS! Well, providing you’re trying to get into a size that’s your actual size and NOT the size you think you are.

The late Frank Frosnick's last words before the EMT's arrived

The late Frank Frosnick’s last words before the EMT’s arrived

So, just for the hell of it, while my other half was, for the millionth time, searching for the perfect purse, (I swear she has over 50 in her closet) I sauntered over to the women’s jeans department and, once again, SHAZAM! every pair was a slim skinny or a straight skinny that I’m sure I could get into with no problem

Yes, I know there’s a joke in there somewhere about getting into women’s pants, but I’m not gonna go there ya damn perv.

Um….on second thought……………

OK...OK....once in a while.....

OK…OK….once in a while…..

Soreeeee……couldn’t resist that one.

Nope.............

Nope………….

I was actually tempted to try a few of them on but I kinda figured the store perv security alarm might go off once I started to head for the dressing room.

The other problem there is that, clothing manufacturers, brilliant as they are, and devilishly devious, know that guys might buy women’s jeans because the look and feel better and because guys like me might buy them, soooooo, they reverse the buttons on women’s clothes so ya won’t buy them. Bastards.

Cowboys also have the same problem finding the right pair of jeans

Cowboys also have the same problem finding the right pair of jeans

Hence, I figure that was the dilemma Bruce Jenner faced one day while looking over his wardrobe after years of just hanging out in professional wife beater shirts, shorts and sneakers.

Obviously he couldn’t find clothes that fit him perfectly, other than women’s clothes, which fit him perfectly, so, he most likely said to himself, “F**k it……..I’m getting a sex change.”

Bruce….um….sorry…I mean Caitlyn….ah feel yer pain.

I might add that most of the “pain”I feel is leaving my tailor after having three pairs of jeans hemmed and it cost me $36!!!!!!!!!!!!

More than the freakin’ cost of the damn jeans for cripes sake.

mmmmmm

Which is why she nails me for $36 bucks!

I suspect Bruce/Caitlyn thought the same thing. Spend as fortune at the tailors, or, have a sex change and shop at Victoria’s Secret with the money you’d be saving from not having clothes altered.

Obviously at my age, (dinosaur) its way to late to consider having a sex change. Not only because I’m ancient, but I’ve already invested what seems like thousands of dollars having jeans altered to fit me and I figure they will now outlast me and when I finally buy the farm my other half will donate them to Goodwill where some short guy will think he fell into pig heaven.

At MY expense.

(sigh)

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As A Public Service, MisfitWisdom Presents “The Internet Troll Identifier.”

troll

Ya really gotta love Internet Trolls on various websites including troll pig heaven, news reporting sites.

The Internet, as well as a lot of other places that the public has access too, including the brain-dead, lets these dregs of the earth post whatever they want……..anonymously so they can spread their hate and discontent without anyone, including their neighbors, friends, work associates, and stray dogs and cats knowing who they are.

Isn’t that great!

You can call someone a f**king ahole and use all sorts of racist slurs and ethnic slams and sign your name………anonymously.

mmm

Shoulda gone with rats instead of bunnies

Soooooooo, how do ya identify an Internet troll….besides the usual lack of knowledge of the English language and the overabundance of the word f**k and a**hole.

Here’s some clues:troll

And of course all Internet trolls are connected to every social media site, um, excluding Sesame Street……..I think….not sure…………..

troll2

Still need more of a defining example……………………trl2

Onward………………….

Meanwhile back at Facebook headquarters

Meanwhile back at Facebook headquarters

If you’re an Internet troll you will always take the opposite stance of whatever it is anyone else is commenting about. It’s the only way to successfully spread hate and discontent.

mmmm

Things matter in the real world? Go figure.

 

mmmm

Can ya pick the guy without a life to speak of

Then there are the trolls who spread rumors which, if you have a legitimate functioning brain, you know aren’t true, but if you’re really stupid, you buy into whatever you believe is fact on the Internet without checking the facts .

mmmm

And Obama’s using UFO’s from Area 51 to help the National Guard

Did ya ever wonder what those woman ya call on a sex hotline look like? Bet their 85 year-old seniors making $8.25 an hour to get ya off. Well same goes for Internet trolls who you may think are macho hunks…………………..

mmmm

Hey baybeee…..ya want me don’t ya…..

Of course there is that “Freedom of Speech” glitch which allows anyone to say WTF they want to.

mmm

OK…MY freedom of speech…..go jerkoff ya f**king trolls

Or………if you’re addicted to the Internet……………….

mmmm

Gawd forbid

Soooooooo, in conclusion, there are ways to deal with Internet trolls.

1. Totally ignore them.

2. Get outta the site you’re in and find a nice news story.

3. Stay on the site long enough to copy this cartoon (below) and paste it in the trolls reply section.look an idiot

Then sit back and just ponder this last thought………………

Works for me

Works for me

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I Believe I’ve Exceeded My WTF Level

With only a mere four agonizing months left to go before the presidential election, I definitely have reached my WTF level. Yup…..(as Mitch McConnell would say) when I get ballistic over politics it’s time to chill out.

Um....yup

Um….yup

I reached that level when it became apparent to me that in a discussion involving politics it’s a lose lose situation. You will NEVER win an argument or make a logical point with someone you’re talking to about politics. So why try.

Soooooo, I’m going to “chill out,” so to speak, which I just spoke, and ignore politics until November 1oth. Whatever happens….. happens.

I’d rather take on more pressing concerns.

Like why is it Major Garrett of CBS news has not been promoted to Colonel Garrett? Maybe even General.

Hmmmm.......good point Misfit....thanks

Hmmmm…….good point Misfit….thanks

Were CNN’s Wolf Blitzer’s parents Chion Wolf of PBS and one of Santa’s reindeer, Blitzer?

Wolf Blitzer on a full moon evening

Wolf Blitzer on a full moon evening

 

PBS host Chion Wolf

PBS host Chion Wolf

And one little known fact about Blitzer………………………the reindeer……not the news commentator…………blitzen1

In a recent article in “Rolling Stone Magazine” about Kris Kristofferson, I read that his wife’s nickname for him because he gets pissed off a lot was Kris Pissedofferson. Does this mean that when I was getting uptight over politics I should be called MisfitBallistc?

Damn Barbra.....now I AM REALLY pissed off....I didn't know you were only 4' 2" tall!!!

Damn Barbra…..now I AM REALLY pissed off….I didn’t know you were only 4′ 2″ tall!!!

Senior citizens on Social Security will get a whopping two dollar cost of living increase this year. Does this now mean that instead of splitting a Dunkin Donuts sausage egg and cheese croissant sandwich with my other half I should now opt to buy two sandwiches? Um….maybeeeee not. Forgot to add in the cost of the hash browns. Damn!

Meow Mix ain't too bad....

Meow Mix ain’t too bad….

According to analysts at “GasBuddy.com” they believe the national average will fall 50 cents from last year’s Independence Day mark to $2.27 a gallon, the cheapest gas prices since 2005. Do gas stations in my home state of Connecticut where the average price of a gallon of gas is $2.39 to $2.49 have a freakin’ clue?

OK....that explains it....

OK….that explains it….

Ever try to figure out why TF eons ago ya climbed up on your roof, strapped down what us geezers call an antenna to get TV reception and it didn’t cost you one red cent. BUT, today cable TV costs ya over one hundred dollars. AND…..95% of what you’re paying for is what I call “mindless TV!”antenna1

P.S…………..wait till they figure out a way to charge us for surfing the web. Which is the main reason I’ve saved all of  my yellow and white pages telephone books since 1999.

I’ve often wondered who’s in charge of counting the number or raisins that go into Kelloggs Raisin Bran and General Mills Raisin Nut Bran. Seems to me that the bran flakes out number the raisins. Why is that?

Same with the number of colored lucky charms in Lucky Charms….WTF?

OK....that explains why there's not so many Lucky Charms in a box

OK….that explains why there’s not so many Lucky Charms in a box

And also my other favorite cereal………….nut-n-bitch

And finally, at least for today, until more WTF stuff enters my mind, why is it the stuff you see advertised on TV that sez, “not sold in stores” and where the announcer sez, “BUT WAIT”…order now and we’ll throw in an additional set of grommenberfermers for only $19.99” you go ahead and order and then two days later see that stuff on a shelf at a Walmart for five bucks? WTF!

YES! Only $19.99 for this set of lemon face cloths. BUT WAIT! Order now and we'll throw in and additional set and a recording of Peter Paul and Mary singing "Lemon Tree."

YES! Only $19.99 for this set of lemon face cloths. BUT WAIT! Order now and we’ll throw in and additional set and a recording of Peter Paul and Mary singing “Lemon Tree.”

I rest my case………but I know what you’re thinking……………..wtf lady

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