The MisfitWisdom Picture Challenge….I Think.

Nah....not this time kitty

Nah….not this time kitty

Ritu of the blog “But I Smile Anyway” issued a challenge to bloggers to post photos and tell a story about each photo. So, thinking of that challenge, I decided to post a bunch of photos, or stuff, and perhaps tell a story. It’s the least I can do for a fellow blogger. Um, do ya call a woman (Ritu) a “fellow” blogger. After all, she IS a woman. Beats me.

To begin with, all of us take photos. Then throw them in a drawer or box  somewhere where they sit for eons, until someone visits and we want to bore the hell outta them. I’m no exception. So, consider this boring the hell outta you. Thanks Ritu.

Let us begin with my young and (cough) innocent years at my first radio job as a DJ in Providence, Rhode Island in 1963. Yes kiddies, the object with the big knobs is called a mixer board which controlled everything. Look Ma, no touch screens!!!


WTF you lookin’ at!

Yes, that was the beginning of my radio broadcasting career. BUT….what goes up, must come down, so I’ll skip the in-betweens of allllll the other radio stations I worked at and fast forward to when I got to the “top of the heap” “King of the hill,” (lyrics courtesy of Frank Sinatra’s “New York, New York”) The year was 1969, and the station WPRO-AM Providence, Rhode Island.

WTF you lookin' at again!!!

WTF you lookin’ at again!!!

Soooo, after that it was downhill in broadcasting until I said “f**k it” and hung up my voice and microphone for good in 1988. If ya count the year I spent in the Army also doing radio, and some Mickey Mouse stuff part-time it totals close to 30 years.

One last one for good measure. Heilbronn, Germany 1959

One last one for good measure. Heilbronn, Germany 1959

Today, all ya have to be to be a bona-fide disc jockey is………have a computer. No great sounding voice required.

Today, people always say to me, “Hey, you still got a great radio voice, how come you’re not doing that stuff?”

To which I reply, “Having a good voice doesn’t matter. It’s who ya know bunko.” You know, “connections.” Of which I have none. Unless ya count my friends Bobby and Tom, and THEIR connections are even worse than mine….which means zippo.

OK, enough of the whining………um….was I whining?

OK....OK....I was whinning

OK….OK….I was whinning

BUT…..I did get this great coffee mug from “Autocrat Coffee”………

"Dick Jones" (circia 1963) AKA....MisfitWisdom

“Dick Jones” (circia 1963) AKA….MisfitWisdom

Might be worth, um, say……..a few thousand bucks on eBay. Ya think?

Er…..maybeeeeee not. DAMN!

OK……back to pictures again.  Maybe something weird. Like how about a pic of my favorite coffee mug.


Makes sense to me……….

Always being short for my entire life, for some odd reason I always seemed to have very tall friends. For instance, Willie Loco Alexander who was my best friend back in my teenage years. He went on to become a recording artist while I went on to play recording artist’s records as a DJ. Go figure.

Willi & I back in the 80's in Mass. (I'm the short guy)

Willie & I back in 1980 AD in Mass. (I’m the short guy)



Willie far left

Soooooo, what do ya do when you have a lot of talent, a good radio voice, but are surrounded by idiots in the broadcasting industry who always try to bring you down? Ya get outta the business and find something else to do. Like become a sales rep. for some record distribution companies. Which is what I did. AND……my favorite memory of that time, the paste-up card I did for the record company mocking the album “Grease” substituting my pic for John Travolta’s.


Ya gotta admit, I got it all over John……. Olivia honeeeee

And when that ended I foolishly went back on the air at a Connecticut station and STILL managed to piss people off by doing an interview with a topless donut shop in Florida. YES…..ya can’t see nudity on the radio folks, but explain THAT to the idiots that fired my butt.

Actually it was a sponsor’s wife that called into station management and complained that nudity was not appropriate. And you know sponsors and sponsors wives mean $$$$$$ and that was that.sponsors1

Of course I documented all this crap in my non best-selling autobiography “I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love and Life Got In The Way.”


Had to get things off my chest

Rather than continue to bore the freakin’ hell outta you, I’ll fast forward by saying that today I am perfectly content knowing that although my radio career was sidelined by egotistical and jealous minded individuals, I now write these stupid blogs, (along with three books to my credit) with no flack from idiots.



Ya think?

Just sayin.’

Thanks for the challenge Ritu. : )

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BUT….jusssssssssssssst in case:

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Hef's comfort too

Hef’s comfort zone……um…..mine too

As you may recall, or not, (see MW blog of 10/15/15 in my archives) I wrote a blog about Playboy Magazine which plans to discontinue nudity beginning next March.

First of all, many of today’s generation may say to themselves, “Yeah, so what? I can see all the nudity I want on da Internet pal.”


Also known, in Internet terms, as “Not tonight dear, I have a cyber headache.”

Yes, that’s true. And while Playboy has other features in their magazine other than nudity, such as magnificent in-depth articles, great sections like “Raw Data,” “The Playboy Forum,” “The Playboy Advisor,” interviews with well renowned people including celebrities, a long list of contributing cartoonists, and sometimes advertising that really catches your eye.

So, all that said, which I just did, what will make Playboy without nudity, not porno, but classic refined photographic nudity different from any other men’s magazine? Such as Maxim, or Esquire to name two.

The answer simply put…..NOTHING.

Before and after....

Before and after….

When you compare similar magazines, such as Hustler or Penthouse, there’s no comparison. Playboy had, or, presently “has,” class. Nudity was presented in a classy manner. No trash as in other men’s magazines.

So, why does it bother me that Playboy is dumping nudity?

Because, it will become just another “mens magazine.”

Yes, the articles are great, along with everything else, but reading it will be like buying a Corvette with Volkswagen engine.

I love chocolate chip cookies, but eliminate the chocolate chips and all ya got is a cookie. Eliminate the nudity and you have a magazine void of its heritage. It will be missing its heart. What made Playboy tick in the first place.

To make my point.....

To make my point…..

Consider this…………..when I was a teenager if I wanted to see a naked woman, sure, I ripped off a copy of Playboy Magazine. Yep….took it to the bathroom on occasion and got some self-satisfaction. Guess what, I’m still alive, haven’t gone blind, or have gnarled hand either.

Try taking your laptop or iPhone into the bathroom kiddies and do the same today…if ya can get thru the pop up ads and can manipulate the screen without making a mess.

Now, to me, losing a part of what was Playboy’s main attraction at their inception (nudity) after close to 60 some odd years of success seems to me like a death knoll for Playboy.

Not that nudity is what people bought or subscribed to Playboy for, but because it WAS truly a men’s magazine, nudity included, and to eliminate that part of the magazine, Playboy will be losing something very valuable. Their identity. Who they are. Why they were different from other similar magazines. And how they began…….with Marilyn Monroe.MM1953cover

Marilyn from the 1953 issue of Playboy

Marilyn from the 1953 issue of Playboy

The “heart” of Playboy Magazine IS nudity. It’s what made them.

And from that they evolved into a high-class cutting edge publication.

So, we men, slugs that we are, including myself, could read the articles, (really) the letters people send in, (really) the interviews, (really) scan the sometimes interesting features on new products and even some of the ads, (really) and everything else worth reading, and as we thumb through the magazine, yep, take a break and admire the beautiful women. (REALLY)

Now I personally subscribe to Playboy. Will I renew my subscription? Depends. If it turns out to be just another “mens magazine” there ARE other options.

Yes, the Internet if I so desire to view nudity. But, I usually don’t. I felt comfortable reading Playboy as I do every other magazine in the bathroom. My comfort zone for reading stuff uninterrupted. I DON’T feel comfortable surfing the Internet for nudity. Playboy was just fine as far as I was concerned.



So, where am I going with this. Other than to the bathroom.

I’m gonna make a prediction that Playboy Magazine is going to see a drop in subscribers beginning in March of next year I may be one of them. Again….depends. (not the kind you wear either)

Think of it this way.

Watching the movie “The Piano,” “The English Patient” or “Eyes Wide Shut” without nudity.

Or if Amy Schumer and Lewis Black said they weren’t going to use profanity in their acts anymore.

Or if “Two Broke Girls” said they were not going to allow Sophie to show cleavage.

Jennifer Coolidge (Sophie) from "Two broke Girls."

Jennifer Coolidge (Sophie) from “Two broke Girls.”

Or if MisfitWisdom (yours truly) wrote serious stuff instead of this nonsense.

Um……er……like THAT’S EVER gonna happen. Maybe that last one wasn’t a good example. BUT….you get the point.

(to be continued next March when the Playboy subscription stats are in)

The bright spot in all this………I’ve saved all my Playboy’s jussssssst in case.hoarding2

Just sayin.’

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Thanksgiving 2015….”The Bird Is The Word.”


Well here it is another Thanksgiving. Time flies so fast when you’re a turkey. Before I go on with my traditional Thanksgiving nonsense, let us pause for a moment and think of those who really don’t give a rats ass about Thanksgiving…………………..

Oh well, ya can’t please everybody…………..

In this day and age it’s not uncommon for turkeys to have their own Facebook page………….tgsv5

This would explain why…………

tgsv2And, we should REALLY thank Squanto who helped the Pilgrims grow food and helped them survive that very first year in Plymouth Colony. Thanks Squanto.tgsv6

And due to the heightened security all over the world this year………’s always a good if ya have a relative who works for the TSA………tgsv4Of course right after Thanksgiving comes the “Holiday Season.” (politically correct term for those of you who freak out at the mention of the word “Christmas”)  This year Santa got into things a bit early……………….tgsv7In Florida, just to be on the safe side, turkeys have taken further measures to insure their safety………….which really won’t be hard to pull off in Florida considering half the people there are seniors over 70 with vary bad eyesight.tgsv8
Even celebrities celebrate Thanksgiving. For instance, as in this “shining” moment, at Jack Nicholson’s house.tgsv3Ever wonder why men love turkeys so much. And not only on Thanksgiving………….



The tradition of Thanksgiving of course goes back to the days of the Pilgrims. If it wasn’t for the Indians, (not the Cleveland ones) we’d never know how to stuff a turkey……although we DID have our own idea’s on how to stuff one.tgsv11
Squanto had a sense of humor………….
Ever wonder where the idea of a “pop-up timer” for turkeys came from? Welllll one day long ago Frank Perdue was sitting in a bar when a turkey sat down next to him and……………..


If you didn’t catch that one, then obviously you haven’t seen a photo of Frank Perdue.

I rest my case.......

I rest my case…….

Taking advantage of the number of turkeys that go missing this time of the year,  female turkeys, unhappy with their marriages take advantage of the holiday.


I myself feel great remorse when it comes to eating a turkey. I firmly believe that all creatures deserve to live and not be eaten. Um, but I eat them anyhow. As long as they don’t look like what they looked like when they were alive. Same goes for shrimp and lobsters.

I also suspect if alien life does exist on other planets, we never discover one inhabited by turkeys.


And the astronaut exploring distant planets was never heard from again

So my fine feathered friends, (turkeys included) have a Happy Thanksgiving from MisfitWisdom and one final thought. You know how that old saying goes about how after eating turkey it makes you sleepy. Well don’t overdo it guys……ya never know when you might just wanna be at your best Myles Standish.

Just sayin'

Just sayin’

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WARNING: Jalapeno’s Can Make You Violent.


Being of Italian heritage I absolutely love anything that’s hot and spicy. Yes, before you say it, that also includes women.

But, this is NOT about hot and spicy women today, but about jalapeno peppers. Which apparently can cause you to go ballistic and do things that normal people would not do.

Not that “I” have ever done anything violent after eating a jalapeno pepper, unless you count the number of times I’ve bolted to the bathroom after woofing down quite a few of them with my butt on fire.jala1

But, apparently jalapeno peppers, combined with bacon and macaroni CAN cause others to lose it. Big time!

Such was the case when Luke Gatti, 19, of  Bayville, New York completely lost it on October 4th and went into a tirade at the University of Connecticut’s student union and was charged with breach of peace. Or….breach of jalapeno. Whatever.

According to a news report by “The Hartford Courant,” Gatti will appear in Hartford Superior court on Monday to face charges that also included first-degree criminal trespass with regard to the jalapeno incident.

I guess you could call it, “assault and jalapeno.”

Further proof that eating or craving jalapeno peppers can make you do nutso things. Like lose it in front of a lot of people who have cameras and decide to film your tirade and then post it on You Tube and then, yes….then…..have bloggers like myself not only write a blog about it, but also post that YouTube video.


Along with people going bonkers

Is this kid gonna be famous or what!

In living color and with all the “F” words included, (cover little children’s ears) here’s the actual video of the jalapeno bacon incident. I might add that the tipping point, so to speak, was at about 6:14 into the video when Gatti pushed the manager who was attempting to calm the kid down. (not for the faint of heart)

So, besides the point that Gatti may have had a bit too much firewater to drink, further proof that jalapeno bacon sandwich cravings can make you do strange things. Gawd knows what this kid would have done if he actually ate that sandwich.jala3

Gatti has since applied for accelerated rehabilitation. Which I guess means he must seek out rehab counseling and stay away from any jalapenos, or at least opt for home delivery.

According to the “Courant,” “when a defendant applies for accelerated rehabilitation, the court file is sealed. Gatti will have certain conditions to meet if his application into the program for first time offenders is accepted. They can include community service or getting counseling, according to state law.”

So now, all because he was pissed off no one would serve him a jalapeno bacon and macaroni sandwich, he’s got to go into rehab. Oh, and using all those “F” words and shoving the manager….that too.

I can see where this is all going. The kid got his 15 minutes of jalapeno fame on YouTube. Next, possibly an appearance on some late night TV show where he demonstrates how to eat a jalapeno bacon sandwich and go berserk in front of the cameras. And then, pushes the host off of the stage.jala5

SEE folks. It doesn’t take much to get your 15 minutes of fame. Just go jalapeno commando.

Oh….and don’t forget the bacon and macaroni.

Then again, wasn’t it yours truly who went berserk over not getting chocolate on my lemon filled Krispy Kreme donut.

HEY! Where TF is MY 15 minutes of fame ya damn idiots?

Oops…..does this mean “I” have to go into accelerated rehabilitation too?

Soreeeee……………..for my outburst.sorry1

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OMG!!!! They Wanna Ban Prescription Drug Commercials!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Yes, it’s true. According to an article by Walter Einenkel, and re-blogged on a number of sites, the AMA (American Medical Association) wants to ban all advertising for prescription medications currently advertised on TV.

I, for one, am in a state of panic. Not that I love those commercials that tell me the number of side effects I’ll suffer from after taking any of those medications which are, in my mind, a lot worse than what I took the original medication for in the first place, but, if Viagra is on that list, I’m definitely gonna protest that ban proposal.pres6

Only because I’d miss Linette Beaumont, one of the spokeswomen for Viagra.

Cripes....I don't need it but she's soooooo convincing

Cripes….I don’t need it but she’s soooooo convincing

One more for the guys……………

Heloooooo baybeeeee

Helloooooo baybeeeee

As for the other prescription medications advertised on TV, I could give a rats ass. Cept for maybe that one with the big bad wolf who has a breathing problem and can’t blow down the three little pigs houses.pres2

Here’s the statement released by the AMA:

“Today’s vote in support of an advertising ban reflects concerns among physicians about the negative impact of commercially-driven promotions, and the role that marketing costs play in fueling escalating drug prices,” said AMA Board Chair-elect Patrice A. Harris, M.D., M.A. “Direct-to-consumer advertising also inflates demand for new and more expensive drugs, even when these drugs may not be appropriate.”


Soooo, I guess the AMA is concerned that marketing costs fuel escalating drug prices. REALLY! Ya don’t think that maybe, just maybe, drug manufacturers themselves are fueling escalating drug prices?

If they need the drug pal, hike up that damn price.

Works for me......

Works for me……

I really don’t mind if drug companies advertise their products on TV. I actually enjoy watching how great some of these drugs are, and then listening to all the side effects you get if ya take those drugs.

But I especially enjoy trying to make sense out of some of the chemical names of these drugs after they show us the marketing brand names.  Like who in their right mind is gonna walk into a drug store and ask for, “umeclidinium” (Abilify) “drospirenone”(Belsomra) “tadalafin” (Chantix) “rivastigmine” (Exelon) “desvenlafaxine” (Pristig) and “sildenafil” (Viagra)

Unless they have a pill that helps you be able to pronounce those long generic names for drugs.pres1


“Yes, now a new drug that helps you walk into a pharmacy and actually be able to pronounce generic names for drugs. It’s called, “stupidbrainfartius” (Stoopid) now available at your local CVS and other pharmacies. Need Viagra? No need to embarrass yourself when you’re asking your pharmacist for ED medication and old ladies, dogs, and your local clergyman are standing behind you in line. Take one dose of “Stoopid” and you’ll be able to pronounce the generic name of Viagra, “sildenafil” and nobody will ever know what the hell you’re ordering.”

(side effects) “Side effects of “Stoopid) include the inability to speak coherently in normal language to anyone for several hours without using long unintelligible words that anyone can understand and an erection lasting more than four days.pres3

Me thinkith this plan to ban prescription medications from all TV advertising is a secret plan by the AMA to make people like myself and Walter Einenkel write stoopid (brand name) blogs about their plan to ban prescription drug advertising on TV so that we’ll all panic and run to the store and buy up all those drugs before they’re not advertised on TV and we have no clue as to what to buy….BUT….just in case we come down with something, have them on hand.

My guess anyhow.

I know! Tinker Bell is in the next cell.

I know! Tinker Bell is in the next cell.

Meanwhile, here’s how Walter, clever blogger that he is, summed up his comment on this:

“Good luck! In the meantime me and the boy are going to watch some fellas throw the pigskin while I explain what rectal bleeding, and an erection for four hours means. Maybe we will discuss nausea, increased appetite and weight gain, loss of sexual desire, insomnia, fatigue or drowsiness, constipation, dry mouth, club foot, dizziness, agitation, irritability, anxiety, itchy ear, loose stool, suicidal thoughts, restless leg syndrome…You know, family time”

Yep, nothing like sitting around the family table with everybody using prescription medications suffering from one or more of those side effects.pres11

I sense the possibility of a new TV reality show here.

“Tonight on TBS…….”Prescription Medication Side Effects with the Grozneck Family.” Tonight’s episode, Walter Grozneck takes an accidental overdose of Viagra causing a 8 hour erection, trips over the family dog, falls onto the living room floor, and punches a hole in the hardwood floor much to the dismay of Mrs. Grozneck who just spent $2,000 for a classic Hawaiian inlaid floor.”

Sooooooo. Am I personally concerned prescription drugs may be banned on TV? Nope! Got my own stash of the one and only drug “I” ever need……..AND, ya NEVER see this one advertised on TV………….

AKA: Intercourseprazolam

AKA: Intercourseprazolam

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Plymouth, Massachusetts 1620


This week’s hot potato item…….PANIC! PANIC!

I’m referring to what has become a political football for politicians. That being the influx of refugees from Syria.

Because, as we all know, (cough) all refugees, including women and children who may or may not be Muslims, are (cough) terrorists hell-bent on destroying all of us.

A REALLY hot lookin' potato

A REALLY hot lookin’ potato

So, depending what side of the political football aisle you’re on, this may cause you to either panic or, if you are a normal person with a functioning brain, just get on with your daily life and write inane blogs such as this one.

I don’t panic very easily folks. Unless it’s one of my ex wives stalking me or the IRS sending me threatening letters. NOW THAT’S PANIC!!

Anyhow, I gave some thought to this refugee situation and it brought to mind the fact that my great grandparents were refugees, or immigrants from another country. And I’m sure if you dig back into your family bushes, er, trees, you’ll find the same applies to your family as well.

Some, actually many, were not welcomed here to the Yew United States many eons ago. Discrimination and stuff.

With Thanksgiving approaching, I thought about what it must have been like for Native Americans back in 1620 when the first boat of actual immigrants landed at Plymouth, Massachusetts.


“Soooooo Sipatu, what say you and I head down to the ocean’s edge and take in the scenic view this beautiful November morning.”

“Hey, great idea Nittawosew. I need a break from husking corn all day.”

“Ya know, I been meaning to ask ya. What does your name “Sipatu” mean in Native American lingo?”

“Oh….yeah, well it means “pulled out.”

“Pulled out?”

“Yeah, my parents always wanted me to be aware of the best way to practice birth control so they named me Sipatu. What’s your name mean?”

“Um, it means, “she’s not sterile.” My parents didn’t know anything about birth control so they picked out my squaw for me and named me in honor of her.”indian1

OMFG Nittawosew! A big boat is comin’ towards us!!!!!!”

“Calm down Sipatu, it’s just a rowboat with some people in it for cripes sake.”

“Oh, sorry, well, um, it looked kinda big in comparison to our puny canoes.”

Um, ok, about bingo then?

Um, ok, er….how about bingo then?

“Ahoy, strange looking half-naked people with loin cloths and feathers out there on the shore……may we drop anchor on your land?”


“Hmmmmm. Whaddya think Sipatu. They look kinda strange and dress kinda funny. And who the hell wears hats like that anyhow?”

“Yeah, they are kinda weird lookin’ if ya ask me. But, how bad can they be? Look at the name on the side of that boat out there. The Mayflower. Kinda feminine sounding if ya ask me.”

“Hmmmm. Yeah, I think you’re right. Ok, let’s see what they want.”

“Hello scantly clad whatever you people call yourselves. My name is Myles Standish and I claim this land in the name of us refugee immigrants who left our homeland to cross the great vast and very deep ocean causing us to barf a lot on the trip.””


Urp…..anybody got a barf bag?

“Pssst, Nittawosew……what’s he saying exactly?”

“Um, I think he’s saying that there’s no way in hell they’re gonna sail back to wherever they came from after months of barfing on that boat so they’re gonna claim our land and live here.”

“Oh… that a good thing or a bad thing?

“Well Sipatu, could go either way. If they claim our land, where TF do we go? If we decide to tell them to ‘f**k off” and put up a fight, we’ll never be able to dump that useless island further South for twenty-four bucks. AND, remember me telling you about that biggg rock over there, how we could make money off of it someday.”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Well, if we play our cards right, if we actually had cards, which obviously aren’t invented yet, we could make a fortune on tourism.”




“Hey yeah! What could it hurt? Let’s welcome those refugees off of the boat with open arms here in America.”

“America? What’s with that?”

“Oh, I just named our land “America” after that last guy that was here. You know, AmerigoVespucci or something like that. Anyhow, I think we may have started a trend here or something. Like welcoming immigrants or refugees with open arms. Ya think?”

“Well, it’s worth a shot. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Having a baseball or football team named after us.”

“Oh yeah…..that………or worse…….”

Um, I'm Princess Summer Fall Winter Spring you idiots.

Um, I’m Princess Summer Fall Winter Spring you idiots.

For the record:

Soooooo, what's that saying on the statue of Liberty?

Soooooo, what’s that saying on the statue of Liberty?

Oh yeah…..THIS: “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!” The Statue of Liberty-Ellis Island Foundation, Inc.

Just sayin.’

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Random Thoughts Watching Mindless TV


Yep, I have over a gazillion channels to choose from thanks to Comcast. 8 of which I actually watch….on occasion…but, not very often. In fact, my other half watches more TV than I do.

Why? Because, I think, and this is MY own opinion, women are addicted to TV. And, being a male, I can only speak for myself, but I think men, other than sports programs, could give a rats ass what’s on TV.

Soooo, here I sit this evening in front of my laptop surfing the Internet, Facebook, e-mails, etc, while my other half zones out watching the tube.surfing1

Every so often she utters something like, “Did ya see THAT!”

To which I reply by nodding my head and uttering something unintelligible….just to let her think I’m in tune to whatever mindless program she’s watching. Works very well. Especially when I’m attempting to write these inane blogs and am trying to concentrate.surfing2

“Oh honeeeee, did you see THAT? A giant crocodile just swallowed up some guy in Florida!!!”

“Oh, that’s nice dear.”

This takes place every night so it’s kind of routine for me to just give some stupid response, which, much to my amazement, actually works.

Not that it ever stops her from talking to me about TV shows and what’s going on in them, while I’m writing, like NOW, but at least it requires absolutely no thought on my end when it comes to responding to her.

9 out of 10 times just a simple nod or grunt works just as well too.

She could actually say to me, “HONEEEE! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE…THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!!!!”

Which I probably would ignore until the firetrucks arrived.naggimg4

I think it’s because women in general think differently than us men.

Example 1:

For instance. She went border line berserk today because a fly was in the house. ME…….I kind of ignored it figuring, what the hell, it ain’t bothering me so what’s the big deal.

Soooooo, I killed the motherf**ker with one of my just arrived magazines, squished the little bastard, and he was splattered all over the cover of the magazine, which she immediately said “yuck” and forced me to throw out the whole magazine, which I never got to read….over one freakin’ stupid squished fly!

Men on the other hand would have simply, (if they lived alone) either have let the fly live, or, if inclined to do so, smacked the fly with that magazine, brushed off the remains on their jeans, and continued doing whatever he was doing, including reading that magazine.nagging3

Example 2:

I decided to buy a new chainsaw. BUT….not a gas-powered one. I kinda like the electric type. No gas…no mess, no stinkin ‘get jammed up pull cord start thingy.

Soooo, I ordered one. Immediately afterwards my other half sez, “Dear….you ordered an electric chain saw!!! OMG!!! What are ya gonna do when you wanna cut trees in the forest?”

“Um…..dear, I don’t cut trees in the forest. I don’t EVEN walk in any forest. The closest I’ll ever get to a forest with trees is walking out to the backyard and looking at my neighbors trees as I gaze at them over my forsythia bushes.”

She sez the word “forest” and I’m thinking of this cartoon:bear surfing the web

“But what if that giant tree in our yard falls during a hurricane and we have no power….how are you going to plug in that electric chain saw THEN!!!!”

“Dear, that “tree” is 200 feet tall, 6 feet wide, and if it EVER falls and we lose power I thinkith our homeowners insurance would cover that. Besides, even if we had power do ya think my 16″ chain saw is gonna go through that monster?”

AND……..on top of that, my friend Bobby sez, “You bought a WHAT? Whaddya nuts. You’ll cut the freakin’ cord or run out of cord entirely!”

For the record, I DID consider other options like……..



Sooooooo, I ordered the GAS chain saw. Then, thought about it for a day or two, and then said to myself, “f**k it” I’m gonna go with the electric one. While my other half and my friend Bobby gloom and doomed me about buying one.

Sooooooooooooo. I get the electric saw in, cut a tree down in our yard that was dead, zip, zip, cut, cut, cut, saw, saw, saw, and SHAZAM! no stuck pull cord, no gas, AND, the one time my saw chain came off, (SHAZAM! again) I put it back in place in less than 1 minute. (comes with an easy on and off cover with great chain access requiring one step)

Guess who wants to buy and electric chain saw NOW! Heh Heh, Guess who lives with me who thinks that chain saw it the absolute greatest invention EVER! Heh Heh.

So those were some of my thoughts today as my other half sits next to me watching mindless TV. And talking to me as I’m writing this.blah1

Now…..after seeing my next door neighbor with the mother of all leaf blowers, (gas-powered) and me with the Mr. Wimp 10HP Blower, I’m thinking of buying the mother of all leaf blowers……electric.

Yes….I’m ready for the next round of grief.

And…..if it keeps up, ya know that chair I bought for my other half last Christmas………….well this year I’m going with an attachment for it especially for her…………electricity.

Vibes: Good/Badl

Vibes: Good/Badl

Just sayin.’

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