Remembering Gene Pitney. Why? Because….that’s why.

Same for me pal.....

Same for me pal…..

I’m not quite sure how this blog came about because my mind works in strange ways.

So, as I recall, I was surfing Facebook because I was in one of my extremely bored moods, which is usually when I surf Facebook, and came across a post by Donna Loren.

Who? You ask.

Well, Donna Loren was a recording artist waaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the 60’s and appeared on the TV show “Shindig” as well as being the spokesperson for Dr. Pepper. AND…because my brain is still stuck in the 60’s, when I saw her briefly on a Facebook “friend” clicky thing, I obviously friended her.loren1

(UPDATE) Donna was nice enough to leave a message on my Facebook page after this blog was posted, thanking me for mentioning her and that reminded me that I should have included one of her songs as well.

From the 1964 movie “Bikini Beach,” here’s Donna……………..

Donna Loren today

Donna Loren today. Lookin’ good Donna : )

 

Anyhow, I then went to Donna’s site and looked at all her photos from her career to the present and then read her bio and noticed she was originally from Boston, Massachusetts, which then triggered my mind to Rockville, Connecticut where Gene Pitney was from.

See. I told ya my brain is screwed up.

I have no freakin’ idea why I thought of Pitney, other than somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind I connected Loren with Pitney because they were both from New England. Makes sense to me.pitney2

So, I then went to Pitney’s site and read his bio, which I actually had read before, and of course, knew that he had passed away in the UK back in 2006 at the age of 66. BUT….I didn’t know that he was laid to rest in Somers, Connecticut.pitney4

pitney5

The inscription on the memorial bench at Pitney’s grave site reads:

“To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded.”

So then the little voices in my brain reminded me that Somers, Connecticut is a few miles from Enfield, Connecticut where a friend of ours lives. Who most likely has no idea who Gene Pitney was or that I was a huge Gene Pitney fan.

So what does all this mean in the scope of things?

Um…..absolutely nothing other than an excuse to post now and then photos of Donna Loren and my favorite song by Gene Pitney.

HEY!

It’s my damn blog so if I wanna post a Gene Pitney song and Donna Loren photos, I’m gonna do it.

So there!

Besides, there really wasn’t anything else worth posting today anyhow.

And I conclude this with my all time favorite Gene Pitney song:

Just sayin.’

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NO! I Don’t Want A Freakin’ Smartphone! My Dumb Phone Works Just Fine.

smartphone1

I get asked this question constantly by my friends, all three of them.

“Hey…..how come you don’t have a smartphone?”

To which I reply. “Because my dumb phone works just fine thank you.”

Then they go into explaining all the wonderful things I can do if only I had a smartphone.

And when you're done with all that, stroke my keys....it's been a while ya know

And when you’re done with all that, stroke my keys….it’s been a while ya know

“Hey, you can download all sorts of neat things and get all the information you need right at your fingertips in a flash.”

“Ya mean like all of the information I presently get now in a flash on my computer?”

“Yeah, cept you can get all that information when you’re away from your computer, say like out doing errands, or at the doctor’s office, or driving in your car.”

So I’m thinking to myself, why?

Do I really need to be THAT connected to EVERYTHING at ALL times?”

The answer would be…NO!

To avoid THIS.....

To avoid THIS…..

It'll soon be THIS!

It’ll soon be THIS!

Now look folks, I’m no dummy.I completely understand that some people need to be connected to the world every second of the day. So much so that they even sleep with their smartphones.

Look, if I’m gonna sleep with anything it’s gonna be my other half. And if I’m gonna push ANY buttons, it’s damn well gonna be hers. And vice versa. AND…..I’m not gonna get billed for it either.

I do not need to be connected 24/7/365 to anything! Unless it’s a damn oxygen tank so I can breathe.

I have a dumb phone and that’s fine with me as far as I’m concerned. The phone rings, I say hello, converse, and then hang up. how simple is THAT!smartphone4

Do I need to text?  F**k no. Why should I text someone when I can talk to them. Seems logical to me.

“Hello, Bobby, this is Misfit, ya wanna come over and help me move a ten ton log?”

“Um, ok, but why don’t ya text me with the details.”

“WHAT! I just told ya, come on over and help me move a freakin’ log.”

“Oh, yeah, but if ya texted me I could have read it without talking to you directly and had time to think about how I could get out of helping you move that log without having to give you an answer cause you were actually live on the phone.”

“Soooo, yer sayin’ that texting allows you to avoid answering me directly.”

“Um, yeah, kinda.”best friend1

Now this texting stuff I worry about constantly. Not because I don’t know how to do it, I just don’t want to. What worries me is the idiots who feel that instead of talking on their cell phones while driving and watching the road, they’d rather text message their friends while driving and not watch the road.

I’m constantly worried that I’ll become a windshield wiper bug someday while out getting my mail at my rural mailbox which is 2 feet from the road and some idiot will be texting and not paying attention and the next thing ya know……………..

“SENIOR CITIZEN GETS PULVERIZED WHILE GATHERING HIS MAIL BY DRIVER WHO WAS TEXTING HIS GIRLFRIEND ABOUT HOW MUCH FUN IT IS TO TEXT WHILE DRIVING.”texting2

Do I need all the other fantastic wonderful stuff a smartphone or smartwatch can do? NO!

I look at my watch, see what time it is, end of freakin’ story.

I don’t give a rats ass about my pulse. (I’m breathing, that tells me I’m still alive)

I don’t care what the weather is gonna be. (I look out the window…how damn simple it that)

Do I need to scan my smartphone on something I wanna buy? (what, no price tag on it?)

Take photos. (my dumb phone already does that thank you)

Do I constantly wanna run my finger over a smartphone’s screen to find something?  (hey, that’s why I have a lot of those sticky “Post-It” note pads ya dummy)

And WTF is with butt dialing? Do ya wanna know how many times my friend Bobby has butt dialed me.

How butt dialing originated

How butt dialing originated

“Hey Bob, ya just called me and all I heard was some funny sounds, kinda like somebody playing the tuba.”

“No, I didn’t call you. I might have inadvertently butt dialed ya.”

“Um….ok…..but, what was that tuba sound then?”

“Oh that. Well I was in the bathroom and because I don’t want to be outta touch with the world I strap my smartphone to my side and possibly when I was sitting on the John I sat on the phone and it dialed you and those tuba sounds were……”

“WAIT! I don’t wanna know.”

When butt dialing get outta hand

When butt dialing gets  outta hand

Now to put this in perspective for all of you smartass smartphone geeks, I was completely contented with 45 rpm records eons ago. Then I had to buy 8-tracks, then cassettes, then CD’s, then iPods, then download all that stuff into my computer.

Sooooo how much cash did I spend upgrading all this new tech stuff? Hundreds most likely.

So I ain’t upgrading anything else anymore. Nada, nothing, zilch. I’m completely happy with my dumb phone cause I can say, “Hello, how are ya, and goodbye.” How simple is that!smart phone 4

Now the only thing I will admit to wanting to upgrade to is the way I receive my television programming. Only because those bastards at Comcast keep raising my cable bill and I only watch a total of 8 different TV channels. Seems logical to me I should only be paying eight bucks to watch eight channels.

Like, do I really need the “Al Jazeera” channel? I don’t even know anybody named Al.

So I AM looking into my options there.

Besides, ya can’t kill anybody in a car while you’re driving if you upgrade your television service using something like the Amazon Fire Stick,  Chrome or Hulu.

Unless……..unless you’re a complete idiot and insist on texting while your driving, watching TV and eating a Whopper from Burger King and feeding your dog scraps while yelling at little Johnny and Sally for making too much noise while you’re driving and attempting to key in your driving directions on to you GPS system while attempting to find alternative rock music on your radio.

In which case that headline would then read……….

“TOTALLY CONNECTED GUY DRIVING A SMART CAR INVOLVED IN HIGH TECH ACCIDENT” AP: The bad news. Due to the severity of the accident hospital officials say they were unable to remove a Bluetooth device from the victims rectum along with a smartphone that was lodged in his ear.

The good news. They were successful in reattaching his texting finger which was found on his smartphone. The victims texting finger is doing quite well after surgery, but doctors advised the person that he will now have to stick his head up his ass if he wishes to use Bluetooth connectivity.accident1

Just sayin.”

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Nothing Like Some Really Great Cleavage First Thing In The Morning………

Ya see, my morning routine, after I wake up and realize I’m still breathing, is to stumble into the kitchen, lie on the floor and a half my other half pour coffee down my throat until I’m full conscious.

Then its a quick trip to my office, um, well, I like to call it “my office” but it’s actually a spare bedroom that the cats and I share, and I plop myself in front of my barely functioning computer to see what the hell is going on. Lest I miss something of great importance.

Like Salma Hayek’s boobs jumping out at me on my computer screen. Which they were, which I’m NOT complaining about mind you, but led me to think to myself, why bother wearing anything at all when ya go to the Cannes Film Festival.

Here’s what I’m talking, or writing about.hayek

(pant)

And if you pay close attention to those camera men behind Salma, you’ll notice their cameras are at chest level so as to capture the girls, (boobs) when she turns around.

You’ll also notice that whoever took this photo also had their camera at chest, or as I like to say, boob level.

Why you ask so foolishly?

BECAUSE SALMA HAS BIG BOOBS AND THAT WAS THE ONLY THING WORTH ZOOMING IN ON YOU IDIOTS!!!!

For instance, look at these other* female celebrities and tell me if you see any boob zooming.

mmmmm

Salma Hayek, Natalie Portman, Jane Fonda

 

 

mmmm

Salma Hayek, Natalie Portman, Jane Fonda

 

mmmm

Salma Hayek, Natalie Portman, Jane Fonda

*For the record, these photos were supplied by “Getty Images” and as I said above, “take a look at these other female celebrities” and see if you see any boob zooming.

Now the problem as I see it, other than seeing Salma’s huge Mount Everest boobs, which really wasn’t a “problem” for me at least, is that in all those photos Getty Images never identified all of the women other than to list Hayek, Portman and Fonda.

Which is why I also followed suit and identified all the other women as Hayek, Portman and Fonda.

Clearly this is a severe case of overboobintinitis.

This occurs when you are overcome by observing voluptuous boobs and your mind,  if you are a male, goes bonkers and your brain does not function well. As in the case of Getty Images when they attempted to post these photos but never listed the other celebrities names.

So, also being overcome by boobintinitis, I have no freakin’ idea who most of the other female celebrities are, I don’t give a rats ass who they are, and I’m still staring at Hayek’s boobs. Cause I’m a slug and a shallow person and still working on my second cup of coffee.

Wanna know who they are?

Go look them up.

Cause I ain’t gonna do it.

I’m still staring at Salma………..

Um…..this should explain it all………..male_brain

Just sayin.’

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Hello….Is This God? Um….I have a question…….

god1

There I was just doing what I normally do these nice Spring days. Basically nothing.

Not really. There’s a lot of clean up chores from that awful winter that needed to be done, so that’s what I’ve been mainly doing.

Soooo, there I was, murdering tons of those pesky creeping strangling type whatever vines ya call them that wrap themselves around everything and take over your yard. I did feel some sort of remorse killing them, after all, they are God’s creations.

Um….on second thought……no I didn’t.

What those vines kinda look like

What those vines kinda look like

How they look to me

How they look to me

Why the f**k He created those vines is beyond me. Which is what I asked myself. Along with hornets and wasps.

So, I figured, what the hell, (sorry God) I’ll ask God directly that question.

I know you might think that’s silly considering God only talks to politicians, (Herman Cain, Rick Perry) and most recently Mick Huckabee, who sez he’s waiting for God to decide if he should run for President, so, what the hell, (sorry again God) I figured I’d ask God if I should be murdering those vines.

Lest we forget.........

Lest we forget………

Unless God has his hands full advising politicians on whether to run for President or not.

Which raises the question, Does God have a super pac?

Um…..maybeeeeeee not. Unless ya count all those alms collected on Sunday mornings at various churches.

The problem, as I see it, is that God has never talked to me EVER! Unless He actually did and I thought it was someone else. Kinda hard to recognize God having never really seen him. Cept in movies, (Morgan Freeman) and those paintings in church. I guess.god3

Now how ya contact God, or He contacts you I haven’t quite figured out. Huckabee, Perry and Cain kinda didn’t come right out and spell it out for all of us. Unless, again, God only speaks to politicians. Who are thinking about running for President and that’s it.

Which is a dilemma for me because I’m NOT thinking about running for President, I just wanna know WTF it is with these stinkin’ vines in my yard and what purpose do they serve.

Or……unless God is really much too busy doing other stuff. Like maybe redesigning humans.god6

So, I spent 15 minutes last night in bed, after five days of vine combat, asking God my question. Which was, as I said, and will say it again, “Hey God, what’s with these f**king vines for cripes sake!!!!”

Do ya think I got an answer?

NO!

So, my conclusion is that God really does only speak to politicians. And if ya count the number of politicians claiming God told them to run, or God said this and that, then it’s gotta be true.

Like who do ya trust?

Makes sense to me

Makes sense to me

So I guess, not hearing from the Big Guy, it must be ok to hack the hell outta them vines.

I feel much better now. No more guilt.

BUT…….if God so much as asks ME to run for President, I’m telling him to take a hike. If he can’t even give me some advice on those rotten no good vines, how credible can He be when it comes to advising me to run for President.

Considering the bad advice He gave to Herman Cain and  Rick Perry.

Then again, maybe He just figured after creating those guys, he still wanted a good laugh…………….

God creates politicians

God creates politicians

Just sayin.’

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Pablo Picasso Would Be Rolling In His Grave After Being Censored By Fox News

 

 

Fox-Picasso

(Above: Picasso’s 1955 painting “Women of Algiers” with boobs and butts censored by Fox News and the uncensored painting on the right)

Soooooo, let me see if  understand this. A painting by Pablo Picasso, better known to his friends as PP, was sold at an auction this week and because the painting broke the record for the most expensive piece of art to sell at an auction, ($179.3 million) Fox News decided that this was news.

After all, don’t most of us own a Picasso and perhaps were interested in this story.

Why just yesterday I told my other half, “Gawd, if I only had a few extra bucks I’d have gone to that auction.”

Um….not to buy a Picasso, but to ogle the boobs and butt images in Picasso’s painting. Which…..when reporting this story, Fox News censored. Lest little children and animals see those images and are scarred for life.

Obviously the resule to being scarred for life from seeing butts and boobs when he was a mere puppy

Obviously the result of being scarred for life from seeing butts and boobs when he was a mere puppy

Of course Fox News got a lot of flack on social media sites for blurring out those body parts, and rightly so.

Jerry Saltz, the senior art critic for New York Magazine posted this comment on Twitter: “How sexually sick are conservatives & Fox News? They blurred parts of the Picasso painting,” He included the hashtag #SickMinds.

Sooooo. What did Fox say in it’s defense?

Well let’s see. Um…..how about blaming boob and butt blurring on…um…er…..the night crew. Yeah that’s it….the night crew. It was all their fault. Yeah, the night crew are all a bunch of old guys from a different era where boobs and butts are supposed to be covered.

Now you might think I’m slamming conservatives and the GOP (goofy old party) but keep in mind Fox New’s leanings, as well as the fact, (yes fact) that in 2002 Attorney John Asscroft….um….sorry…that should be, John Ashcroft had a 12 foot statue of the “Spirit of Justice” from the 1930’s covered up because, (gasp) it displayed a (gasp) exposed breast.

OMFG! Is THAT a breast!!!!

OMFG! Is THAT a breast!!!!

Oh yeah, he also ordered that a statue of a man, “Majesty of Law” have its midsection covered, which was displayed along with that other statue.

Um......what the hell are ya all laughing about?

Um……what the hell are ya all laughing about?

So…… so far we have one breast and a midsection that was deemed offensive by the former attorney breast and midsection general. Again….both have been on display at the Justice Department since the 1930’s.

I’d like to thank the web site, “Liberals Unite” for this story. One of the many pro and con sites I devour to get both poinst of view. Lest you think I only go to liberal sites.

Only because I like what I laughingly refer to as “facts” before I slam anybody. Including Fox News.

Um…..come to think of it…..how did they miss this one?

Oops....they censored Venus di Milo's  arms in error....

Oops….they censored Venus de Milo’s arms in error….

Now Fox most likely wanted to spare little children and animals, and a few conservatives …..um….ok a lot of conservatives the horrors (gasp) of sex before marriage and as the article stated, “the horrors of sex during and after marriage,”

Which, I think, you’d have to be married for over 40 years to the same woman to appreciate that last statement. My guess anyhow.

I think this explains my point

I think this explains my point

BUT….as noble as Fox News is in protecting little children and animals, they have no problem scaring the living bejesus outta us….including little children and animals by showing the burning alive of Jordanian fighter pilot Lt. Muath al-Kaseasbeh by ISIS.

WAIT!!!

Oh yeah. They did warn us before they showed that video by saying, “The images are brutal. They are graphic. They are upsetting. You may want to turn away. You may want to have the children leave the room right now.”

“Johnny, Sally…….leave the room RIGHT NOW! This is too graphic for you little kids to see.”

“But daddy, is it worse than seeing Kim Kardashians butt and boobs on the Internet?”

“Um……worse.”

mmmm

Ok….point taken…..

And Fox’s executive vice president, (not Joe Biden) John Moody explained their decision further: ” After careful consideration, we decided that giving readers of FoxNews.com the option to see for themselves the barbarity of ISIS outweighed legitimate concerns about the graphic nature of the video.”

Lest we forget that last year, all in the name of “barbarity” Fox aired a graphic video of a car chase that ended when the man driving the car shot himself on live TV.

“Ok folks…ya saw it here on Fox News first. We’ll be right back with more blood and guts after a word from these sponsors.”

Sooooo. As I understand this logic. Ya can’t see images of painted boobs or butts, but it’s ok to see people burned alive or shooting themselves on live TV. Again…..lest little children and innocent little animals be scarred for life.

Gawd bless you Fox News.

mmmmm

Um, can I still keep my girlie magazines?

Oh where oh where were you when I was a mere child to protect me from the ravages of boobs and butts. I’m scarred for life I tell ya. Life!

Um….my dog too.

We used to sit side by side when I was a teenager and ogle those boobs and butts displayed in Playboy Magazines I ripped off from Mr. Ferkenstein’s neighborhood store.

Now look at me. scarred for life. (sniff)

I can’t even bear to look at my other half’s boobs without feeling great remorse for my sins of the past for ogling all those boobs and butts.

I’m….(sob) soreeeeeee.sorry1

Ok….the dog is right. Sorry Fox News……..

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If Bees Are Collecting Pollen, Why Do “I” Have So Much Of It EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pollen 3

A friend of mine posted this on my Facebook page yesterday:

“Fact – It’s only takes approximately three days, of open windows to pollinate the entire house.”

Ah feel yer pain Barb.pollen1

My red truck is greenish yellow. The glass-topped dining room table I can write my name on, and also see how many (greenish yellow covered) cats walked across it. And I’m sneezing like crazy.

Yep….SPRING is in full bloom along with all those invisible things that float through the air and into my nose. Pollen included. pollen11

Now as I understand it, bees are supposed to collecting this stuff and take it someplace else to do whatever it is bees do with pollen. Pollinate stuff I would assume. Which in turn makes other things grow and for which bees get paid a really good salary to perform. I think.

Otherwise why would they spend their entire existence collecting pollen. Makes sense to me.pollen10

BUT……apparently some of these bees have taken it upon themselves to slack off a bit by not collecting all of the pollen that they should be collecting.

WTF?

Cripes. All they have to do is land on the hood of my truck and they could gather a years supply of pollen in one fell swoop. Maybe even have some extra left over for a really good bee party.

Now I know from reading a few articles that bees this year have been having some serious health issues. Some colonies actually dying off. Experts are trying to discover the reason why this is happening.

mmmm

Excluding of course bad advice from bad bees to other bees

So, that may bee, um, be, the reason so much pollen is around this year. Not enough bees to handle the work load.

Which totally supports those who say that letting illegal immigrant bees into the country will help the economy.

So, in conclusion, I guess we have no other option but to just deal with that excess pollen for the time beeing.

Could be another reason there's so much pollen around

Could be another reason there’s so much pollen around

Unless, you really are overwhelmed by this over abundance of pollen and just can’t take it anymore.

In that case, you might wanna consider bee adoption.

Yes, adopt a hive of pollen collecting bees to work on your pollen problem in your yard.

Um, no, I have no freakin’ idea if you actually CAN adopt a bee, or a hive of bees, but, what the hell. Nothing bee ventured, nothing bee gained. So might as well give it a shot.

Unless bees multiply like rabbits and ya can just find one male and one female bee and let them have a go at it. Like throw a pollen party or something and serve honey on the side. Might work.

mmmm

HEY! Worked for Adam & Eve…um, once they got over their allergies

It’s either that or deal with your pollen problem this Spring by just accepting that its gonna be a heavy pollen season and try to come up with some novel ways to use pollen in your daily recipes.

Or just say f**k it and take advantage of all that pollen dust to leave cute notes for people you love who live in pollen covered glass houses.

To Bee or not to Bee, that was the question…..I think.

AND…..with all this pollen stuff around, there has to be a bright side to it…………….

From a bees viewpoint of course

From a bees viewpoint of course

Just sayin.’

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Like, How Come I Don’t Get Any “Likes” On MY “Like” Button On My Blog…..It’s FREE!!!!!

blogging1

Ok….so I’m reading my WordPress “reader” which consists of other blogs that I follow. And I do read most of them that I find of interest. AND….when I do, I click on the “like” button which obviously means, (duh) I liked what they wrote.

Now considering I get a paltry 250 to 300 hits per day you would think someone would click on MY “like” button for cripes sake. I mean, it’s not like we’re having sex or anything, it’s just a damn “like” button.

Then again, maybe those 250 to 300 readers of my blog didn’t “like” what I wrote, so they just read it and said to themselves, “Hey, I didn’t like that so I’m not gonna hit that “like” button.”

OR…….they DID like it but have no idea what a “like” button is.

OR…..they used up all their “likes” all day long in conversations and just couldn’t bring themselves around to saying the word “like” one more time or even seeing it in front of their eyeballs.

“Like, ya know, I like kinda, was like, really like bummed out, like really stressed because, like, I was like using that word “like” so many times today that, like, ya know, I just couldn’t like face that word anymore. Like ya know what I mean?”

Anyhow, like, it’s no big deal. I mean, like I get all those readers, um, like, not a gazillion readers, but in the hundreds and like, that’s really worth liking.

So, that like said, which I just did, if ya wanna click on the “like” button, feel free to do so.

But, like, if you feel like you don’t hafta “like” because you at least read my blog and that like should be enough, then like that’s fine.

OK….I feel better now that I like got that outta my system.blogging2(UPDATE) mndave, one of my blog readers said that, like, I may not be getting “likes” because a lot of my readers get this blog like in their e-mail and perhaps do not see the “like” function, which is, like, in blue at the bottom of the blog if you like get it via e-mail. BTW, if you DO get this blog via e-mail, if you like click on the main title you will be magically like transported to a much reader friendly version of this blog which may like have a bigger more visible “like” button. Just sayin.’

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