Do We Really Need All These Statues

Must have been a boring day at the Associated Press this week. Reporter Charles Babington babbles on about the excessive number of statues there are all over the place. Like, all ya have to do is become somewhat of a celebrity or historic figure, and SHAZAM! someone wants to put up a statue of you.


Anthony Weiner at an early age

So I was kinda curious as to what kind of statues were out there that perhaps the AP missed.

They did mention that all summer long at the mother lode of statuism, Washington, D.C., thousands of visitors take a gander at the endless statues in the Nation’s Capitol that honor the nation’s founders, leaders and legends.

Such as George Washington, father of his country. Thomas Jefferson, father of Sally Hemmings. Abraham Lincoln, preserver of the union. Jimmy Hoffa, head of a bunch of unions, and still missing, most likely buried in a field in Union, New Jersey. (no statue there honoring him or that particular spot however) And John Gorrie, inventor of the ice machine.

Yep, John Gorrie.

Why you ask, as I did. Because Mr. Gorrie, as the AP points out,  made an important contribution to history by inventing that ice machine. Not only because he invented it as a means of helping malaria patients by producing cool air, but because a guy named Willis Carrier took it a step further and invented the air conditioner based on Gorrie’s invention. Go figure.


Rare photo of the very first Carrier air conditioner

So ya see, it doesn’t take much to have a statue erected in your honor if you are smart enough to invent a milestone invention to help all of mankind, or are a historic figure or even a celebrity.

The AP goes on to name a few more honorees such as King Kamehameha of Hawaii. James Paul Clarke, a governor and senator from Arkansas. Jeannette Rankin of Montana the first woman elected to the House. And James Z. George, (no relation to Boy George) of “Mississippi who was the Father of the Agriculture Department.”


Hawaiian King whats his name

All well deserving I might add. I think.

But, let’s take a look at what other statues there are out there that might be borderline questionable.

For instance:


I guess it fell off of the truck transporting the statue and they figured, hey, what the hell, looks kinda cool

Tripping along………….


In honor of the first sewer rat tripping a cop in London. A timeless tradition.

Oh Yeah…..take this buddy…………..


Honoring the very first person who flipped someone the bird

Sooooo, how long you been waitin’ in line?


In memory of the dearly departed who passed away waiting in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles Office

Be proud the next time someone calls YOU a blockhead.


Recognizing Donald Trump’s Brain

Is it me, or does anyone immediately think of the Hollie’s song, “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother?”


This is either honoring that old saying, “up your nose with a rubber hose,” or “she ain’t heavy, she’s my mother.”

Frightening memories of my last trip to the ENT docs office.


Honoring all doctors who say to you, “Open wide.”

Oops….sorry honeeee, but when ya gotta go, ya gotta go.


Commemorating that old line, “piss on you.”

Soon to be the next Playboy Magazine “Playmate of the Year.” Eat your heart out Hugh Hefner.


I believe the inscription on this statue is, “Every Mans Dream.”

From that horror movie, “The Vagina That Ate Chicago.”


One can only guess, but, my thought was, considering this IS made out of stone, this may be in honor of every woman who said, “It’ll be a cold day in hell before you get in my pants.”

Um, take two aspirin and call me in the morning.


In honor of the phrase: “If you say that one more time dear I’m gonna bang my head against a freakin’ wall.”

Anybody wanna fork around?


Honoring the company that figured out there was a better way to eat Chinese food than using chopsticks

Don’t get too close, I have a severe case of gas pains.


The newest of statues. The Miley Cyrus “twerking” statue.

Sorry folks, please don’t be too HARD on me for posting this one.


And finally, because my name is “DICK,” a statue honoring me.

So there ya have it. A collection of notable statues that the AP may have missed and that I’m sure will be on everyone’s to visit list.

But, in conclusion, lest we forget the most notable statue of all, the Statue of Liberty……expressing her feelings about all of these other noteworthy statues…..



Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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