Yes, PANIC! PANIC! The sky is a fallin’. Ebola is EVERYWHERE!!!!
Well, not really, but if you watch the news media coverage of anyone who so much as has a fever or sneezes you’d think so.
Now I may stand, or sit corrected, but as I understand all of this Ebola stuff, unless you have traveled to Liberia or someplace that has an Ebola outbreak, or have come in contact with someone from those areas that sneezed on you, or somehow deposited some sort of stuff on you, fluids mainly, your chances of contracting Ebola are kinda slim. Basically because it is not an airborne virus.
So I, for one, am NOT gonna panic if I should come down with a fever or get the sneezies. As it is I get the sneezies every day just having cat allergies….and owning three cats. None of which have visited Africa. As far as I know.
So where did this Ebola virus get its name anyhow? According to the Internet, which we all know has nothing but the facts, the virus was named after a river in the Democratic Republic of the Congo.
No, this does NOT mean that Democrats are responsible because the word “Democratic” appears in that name. Nor does it mean Republicans are either because the Congo is a republic. So, if ya hear that on Faux news, and believe that, get a freakin’ life.
The other thing I was wondering was why haven’t pharmaceutical companies come up with a vaccine considering the Ebola virus has been around since 1976. The answer to that questi0n……..because it wasn’t profitable enough to make a vaccine…..such as more profitable drugs that will save mankind, like Viagra and Cialis.
Because as we all know, getting a hard-on is more important than any vaccine to combat Ebola. More profitable for drug companies too.
“Soooooo Dr. Frebus. What new drug are we working on today to save all of mankind?”
“Well Dr. Zersnick, I’ve come up with this here erectile dysfunction drug that will guarantee men a four-hour erection thereby allowing them to screw their freakin’ brains out.”
“Eureka! Wonderful. I can see the gazillions of bucks just rolling into our corporate coffers. Anything else you’re working on?”
“Well, I was gonna try to come up with a vaccine for that Ebola virus over there in Africa, but what the hell, Africa is sooooo far away and what are the chances of anyone here in the U.S. coming down with Ebola. Besides, how much money are we gonna make selling a vaccine that only three or four hundred people are gonna use.”
“Good point Dr. Frebus. Shelve it for now and see if you can come up with something similar to Viagra and Cialis for women. My damn wife is cold as a dead fish.”
So, now that the Ebola virus is causing people to panic, dollar signs are popping up over the heads of all pharmaceutical company executives. There’s money to be made in them thar hills podner. Millions….perhaps gazillions even.
BUT……first we have to test these new drugs to see if there any side effects. You know, those pesky little insignificant side effects that arise when you take a pill for something and then suffer from the effects of the pill you’re taking and need yet another pill to combat the side effects from the first pill you took and before ya know it you’re taking more pills to combat all of the other side effects.
Like those damn four-hour erectile dysfunction pill hard-on side effects. Which I’m absolutely sure every guy taking those pills who gets a four-hour erection is gonna immediately run to the docs office and complain about.
But have no Ebola fears my fine feathered friends. Even though presently there is no FDA approved drug to combat Ebola on the market right now, there are pharmaceutical companies that have Ebola drugs that are being tested. The problem……………
So basically the only options we as Americans in a state of panic have is to, 1. Never travel to Africa, 2. Avoid people you know who may have traveled to Africa, And 4. Do not play the song “Africa” by Toto until this Ebola threat is over.
http://youtu.be/FTQbiNvZqaY (play at your own risk)
Might as well cover all bases here.
In the meantime…………….
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