We Need An Investigation To Determine Why We Need An Investigation

n

Screw it…just leave it up forever…..

I’ve had it up to my balls when it comes to Congress conducting investigations. I say, “balls” because I’m not very tall and when something begins to tug at my lower extremities, I begin to panic.

It seems to me that this investigation stuff is getting way outta hand. Yes, there may be some investigations that warrant investigating, like why is it that Congress feels that it should investigate everything that they think should be investigated?

It’s like a bunch of old senile men and women who have been in Congress for centuries have nothing better to do than investigate stuff because they can’t quite figure out why they are actually in Congress in the frist place. Other than the perks they all get. Executive men’s and ladies room privileges and free toilet paper embossed with the congressional seal.

m

Congress in session……

Just think about all of the investigations they’ve been doing since the idea of investigating came to them in a brainstorm many years ago. Hundreds of investigations to investigate things that they felt need to be investigated. Here’s a list of some investigative things those clowns have investigated over the years:

The first investigation was in 1792 into the disastrous expedition led by General Arthur St. Clair against the Shawnee and Miami Indians, (not a baseball team) which took place in Ohio in which 657 American troops were killed. Possibly this one was justified.

However, did anyone ever investigate why a bunch of Miami Indians were in Ohio and if they lived there why were they called “Miami Indians?’

m

NIXON? NIXON? Um…..don’t remember him….sorry…

Of course over the years there have been many investigations including investigations into how many communists were hiding within the government. Congress back then was suspicious of everyone, including themselves, fearing that everyone was actually a communist. Except actual communists who conducted their own investigation fearing that everyone in their country was actually a congressman.

Then we had investigations into the Ku Klux Clan. (did they use clean sheets and were they union shop sanctioned) Watergate. (did Nixon order the break in at the Democratic Headquarters when all he had to do was call for room service to get into the room) The Iran Contra affair. (in which Ollie North had some sort of an affair with some Contra woman….I think) Bill Clinton. (in order to determine if getting a blow job constituted a Congressional perk, and if so, why weren’t other Congressmen getting them. Steroids. (at which time congress wanted to investigate why baseball players could get steroids really cheap and they couldn’t) and currently, two new investigations.

b

Um….after he calls Mark Sanford…..my guess anyhow.

The Benghazi investigation to investigate who Congress can put the blame on other than themselves when it came to security for the diplomats in Benghazi because Congress failed to ok funds for increased security when it was asked for by those diplomats ages ago.

And yet another investigation into the Boston Bombing  in an attempt to investigate why investigators didn’t investigate the bombers prior to the bombing so that their investigation would have concluded that those two individuals needed further investigating, which, if they had been investigated further, might have prevented the bombing in the first place and the need for yet another investigation.

But, all this investigation stuff is driving me nuts. I personally think Congress needs to be investigated as to why they need to investigate EVERYTHING instead of themselves.

Like, why the f**k are we here? What is our purpose? And, um, is there something else we’re supposed to be doing instead of wasting our time investigating stuff? Like maybe an investigation into why Congress has the lowest approval rating ever. Lower than dog crap.

Oops….here comes an investigation into dog crap.

m

Yeah, but it’s only temporary…..

So what’s the solution to all this congressional investigation upon investigation upon investigation stuff? How do we fix congress?

h

Ok boys…..remember, stand downwind…..

Hmmm. Might actually work. BUT……then some congressman from California is gonna want to conduct an investigation into why the prune industry was slighted when it came to the selection of Ex Lax instead of prunes. (California has a lot of prunes) Which, a lot of California congressmen, or women resemble.

BUT WAIT! Does thouist smell yet another investigation on the ol horizon?

Headline: 5/10/13 –  WASHINGTON (AP) — “The Internal Revenue Service apologized Friday for what it acknowledged was “inappropriate” targeting of conservative political groups during the 2012 election to see if they were violating their tax-exempt status.

IRS agents singled out dozens of organizations for additional reviews because they included the words “tea party” or “patriot” in their exemption applications, said Lois Lerner, who heads the IRS division that oversees tax-exempt groups. In some cases, groups were asked for lists of donors, which violates IRS policy in most cases, she said.

The agency — led at the time by a Bush administration appointee — blamed low-level employees, saying no high-level officials were aware. But that wasn’t good enough for Republicans in Congress, who are conducting several investigations and asked for more.”

YES! YES! Another investigation. Which, will most likely investigate why the IRS investigated those conservative groups, which will no doubt, lead to investigating Obama and Hillary Clinton, who, as we all know, by all of these investigations, are totally responsible for whatever happens on the face of the planet.

Except anything good that happens.

Might wanna investigate if those two had anything to do with the JFK assassination while we’re investigating things.

WAIT!  Damn…..I forgot……THAT investigation, (JFK-Warren Report) NOBODY really wanted to investigate because investigating all of that investigative stuff might actually reveal the truth…..and……we sure as hell DO NOT want anything truthful to come out of that or any congressional investigation……unless……

It suits our party’s agenda……which is getting re-elected………………………

Um….shouldn’t SOMEBODY….ANYBODY….be investigating THAT?

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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