Hitler Had A Food Taster: Go Figure! BUT….there’s always a but.

One of Adolf Hitler’s food tasters. Margot Woelk….phteuwy…blaccch!

Yep, it’s true. Der Führer actually had someone who tasted his food for him before he ate it. In fact, he had around 15 food tasters. Geez, no wonder the guy was so skinny. By the time all those people tasted his food there was nothing left for him to eat.

Hmmm. maybe that’s why he was so pissed off all the time and yelling that “Sieg Heil” stuff.

“Vas is los….(my German sucks) you dumkoffs….dere iss nothing left on der plate!”

This is either an actual photo of Adolf Hitler or Mel Brooks hamming it up on the set of “The Producers.”

So how do we know all this about Adolf? Simple. One of his surviving food tasters, (the others were shot by the Russians when they overtook that part of Germany) just came clean about being one of his food tasters.

Why now you ask? Who the freak knows. Maybe she was afraid Hitler actually escaped, (my theory*) and would hunt her down for eating most of his food. Especially the desserts.

The food taster is 95 year-old Margot Woelk, (they don’t know how to correctly spell “Margaret” in Germany) finally spilled the beans on being Hitler’s food taster. Which, if she had actually spilled actual beans on the floor while serving Hitler his meal, she would have obviously had to re-taste it. (5 second rule)

“Oops…soreeeee mein Führer.”

Margot’s job was very specific. She was the taster for most of the vegetarian food Adolf ate. Stuff like asparagus, peppers, peas, rice and various salads. Which may account for another reason Adolf was such a crank. I’d be totally ballistic too if I was running a country and all I had to eat were freakin’ vegetables for cripes sake.

Somebody should have given him a damn hamburger or hotdog. War might have ended a lot sooner if ya ask me.

The reason for all those tasters was that Adolf feared that his food might be poisoned. So, if any of the 15 food tasters dropped within 20 minutes of eating any food, it definitely was a clue that he should not eat that food. My guess anyhow.

“I know you’re gonna dink ahm stoopid Eva, but der asparagus just got off der plate and left”

Food tasting was not a voluntary job….as food tasting jobs go. Not really much in the way of benefits, other than three meals a day and the hope you’d survive to eat another meal. But….not quite knowing if you’d be terminated….by death.

“Hans….geet der food taster laying on der floor outta here and throw away da salad greens.”

Margot says that there was always a delay before Hitler ate his meal so that effects of any poison in the food could be seen in the tasters.  Subtle effects I would assume. Like foaming at the mouth, hair falling out, extreme convulsions, eyeballs popping out and the inability to stand up and yell out, “Sieg Heil.”

A subtle hint that Hitler’s food was poisoned as displayed by the late Hans Dorfflerburger one of the Führer’s food tasters.

Now I can understand Margot’s reluctance to come forward before. Hence, the “*” sign next to “my theory” as far as Hitler escaping. I for one, and Russian leader Stalin, for two, both feel that Hitler did escape.

Stalin, of course, is long gone, so I’m the only one left to admit that I think he escaped. Well, um, there may be others, but who cares. I’m the important one.

Why you ask?  I’ll tell ya since you asked.

Because anyone who has a bunch of people taste their food is NOT gonna commit suicide in a bunker you idiots. Look at it logically. If he had people tasting his damn food, then he obviously had people practicing to die for him. Makes sense to me.

But, if ya want the real reason, you could research all that yourself, or accept my next theory. Which, if you think I’m pulling your leg, makes more sense because “I” did research it. So there ya dam leg pulling type doubters.

Am Not!

(NOTE) If you really give a rats ass about what Stalin thought, or myself for that matter, I have a notation at the very end of today’s blog for you curious Georges…..or, Tom, Dick, and Harrys)

This is the part of the blog where I shamelessly promote my novel, “The Covert Chamber” which is about Hitler, all kinds of dirty rotten no goodnick Nazis, and a few rogue CIA agents, along with a really nice guy and his girlfriend who uncover the truth about Hitler and stuff. Oh yeah, and a cat named Sylvester. You could actually buy the book on “Amazon.com,” or if you’re a damn cheap skate, just research the facts yourself, or read my simple explanation below.

No goodnick Nazis during a tender moment

Seeing that most of my blog readers, with the exception of three people, are really cheap skates, which is fine, doesn’t bother me at all, I’ll tell ya the reason I think ol Adolf escaped and probably had one of those tasters eat some vegetables laced with cyanide for him so that he could escape.

It’s like this. Hitler’s instructions were to have his and Evas’  (his girlfriend) bodies dragged outside and doused with gasoline or some other combustible and set on fire before those Russian guys caught him, and, did it themselves. This was to be done after he and Eva supposedly took those cyanide capsules and bought the farm. Or, in this case, the bunker.

Being a bunch of good Nazis and loyal to der Führer that’s exactly what they did. According to the guys that hung around with Adolf. Like Martin Borman and Soupy Sales. Well, not actually Soupy Sales, but someone who looked like him.

Soupy Sales, with what could be a Nazi dressed as a lion and a dog that suspiciously resembles Hitler’s dog Blondi

So, enter the Russnicks, who, find the bodies in a bomb crater and say to themselves, “Comrades, der Führer and his Fräulein iss deadnik.” So, knowing full well they needed proof that Adolf was kaputnik, they took photos which show der Führer intact and indeed deadnick.

“Smiley for der camera Adolf.”

Which, is kinda strange if ya ask me, which I assume you just did, because if ya burn someone with a highly inflammable substance what do ya figure the odds are that you’d be recognizable. At least recognizable enough to have your photo taken?  My guess is that you’re really not going to look your best folks.

So here we haf, (German lingo) der problem. Photos that show Adolf intact, yet testimony from his officers and pals that, “Yah, vee set him on fire and dere vas nothing left.”

Soooooo. Years later, 1970, the Russians suddenly decided to dig up Adolf’s remains and scatter them into the Elbe river lest anyone who wanted to check out ol Adolf’s remains discover the burial site and do some DNA testing.

Jussssst to prove they were Adolf’s. Nothing strange about that folks.

And we all know that DNA testing is pretty much accurate

Which brings us back to Margot who just came out of the food closest to tell us her story about tasting Adolf’s food. Why?

Because most likely, knowing Adolf’s fear of being poisoned, or, getting food poisoning, (either way) figured if the guy was THAT paranoid about dying, why the freak would he do himself in…..that’s why.

I guess she figured he might be retired and living in Miami, Florida, which is where all retirees go, and if he knew she were still alive, might try and do her in just to keep his existence a secret.

These two seniors caught on camera in 1982 in Miami strangely resemble Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun

The only sure-fire death that I am sure of in that bunker is Hitler’s dog Blondi.

Only because Hitler had a doppelgänger (look-alike) and it would look more convincing if der dog vass found vid der body.

Either that, or Hitler couldn’t afford a dog food taster and someone actually did poison Blondi’s dog food……….

Which, in my opinion, had I been Hitler, would have been a clue to beat feet.

Just sayin.’

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From the book, “The Fate” by H.D. Baumann and “The Escape” by Ron T. Hansig.

“There always have been doubts as to Hitler’s alleged suicide in his bunker in Berlin on April 30, 1945. The most authoritarian doubter was the Russian Dictator Joseph Stalin who was convinced that Hitler escaped to Spain in April of 1945.

We now have a serious and well researched book by Ron T. Hansig entitled “Hitler’s Escape” in which he makes a very convincing case that Stalin was correct in his statements to his western Allies in 1945, telling them that Hitler (and Eva Braun) were still alive. One of Hansig’s startling revelations is, that the man present in the last days of April inside the bunker was, in reality, a double of Hitler. There even is a photograph of the corpse of the double taken by Russian investigators”