Speaker Boehner…”I Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Plane”

"I'm worried Tattoo.....how's Mr. Boehner going to visit us here at Fantasy Island if he doesn't use a military jet?" "Not to worry boss. He'll just fly in like all the rest of our congressional guests do....on paid for corporate jets."

Newly elected House Speaker John Boehner (R) says that he will not use the military jet provided to present House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D) to fly from D.C. to his home district each week.

Oh my, how nice of Mr. “Boner” to save us taxpayers the use of a military jet. See, the newly elected Republicans are already beginning to save us dollars.

This is great considering that Mr. “Boner”, who by the way is a heavy smoker who ducks out of congressional hearings every hour or so to catch a drag and who once distributed campaign checks from a tobacco company on the House floor is concerned about saving us bucks.

I mention the tobacco thing in light of the new graphic images of people with diseases from smoking being pictured on cigarette packs.  But….back to the jet thing.

Soooo, let me see if I understand this. Mr. “Boner” will forgo using the jet which was offered to Nancy Pelosi back in 2007 in light of her position as second in command to the President.  Okay.

(did I mention that Mr. “Boner” is a frequent flyer on various corporate jets…….no?……..I will later in this blog)

I might also mention that the House Sergeant at Arms…..

(whatever arms sergeants of the House Sergeants at Arms does concerning arms, legs or any other body parts….I’m not sure)

Anyhow, the Sergeant at Arms, Bill Livingood, who is responsible for the speakers security, came to Pelosi’s defense saying that the Air Force had made an airplane available to her predecessor in response to heightened security in the wake of the 9/11 terror attacks.

He went on to say that it was unfortunate that the Speakers security would be politicized.  Pelosi’s office noted that her predecessor, Rep. Dennis Hasert (R) had also used a military aircraft.  OMG!!!

“Boner” also said that it was appropriate for Pelosi to have the plane, but questioned the need for it.

My first guess would be to FLY!

My second guess is that the “need” would be if the President were somehow unable to perform his duties that the next in line would be summoned to lead the nation immediately.  Um, that’s just my guess however.

Soooo……once again let’s look at the money conscious Mr. “Boner” who wants to save us all money……so that we too can afford to buy a $8.00 pack of cigarettes and duck out of whatever for a few drags too.

He’s a frequent flyer on corporate jets.  Special interests have paid him to take 40 trips worth $158,000.  Just after his recent election, he was at his favorite restaurant, Tratoria Alberto, (obviously Irish) with 40 of his closest friends and advisers, the bulk of whom were corporate lobbyists. 

(did I mention that “Boner” is a frequent flyer on various corporate jets……….I DID!…….okay….sorry)

Can we all say, “business as usual children.”

“Can we all say, “the pot calling the kettle black, children.”

Can we all say, “I think we’re gonna get boned, children.”

Can we all say, “Hmmmm, I might have a clue as to why Mr. “Boner” is willing to forgo the use of the military jet.”

Um….do they serve cocktails and stuff on military jets? Or…..is that just on corporate jets.

Finally, can we all repeat after me:  Mr. “Boner” makes POLITICAL POINTS WITH THE ELECTORATE……..because, most people do not know all that other stuff, like corporate jets, I just mentioned ………….now…………everybody say…….”DUH!”

Perhaps Mr. “Boner” will turn over a new leaf once he’s in power. Besides those cigarette leafs. One can only hope.

So the questions that remain are:

Will Mr. “Boner” give up smoking in light of the image he may project by continuing to duck out for a quick drag?

Will Mr. “Boner” really pass on the jet which he is entitled to, provided by the military just in case an emergency breaks out.?  And if he does, will anyone be able to find him quick enough to get him back to Washington to make a life or death decision…..while he’s standing in line booking passage back to D.C. on Southwest Airlines or haggling with his corporate friends to borrow a jet?

Will Mr. “Boner” ever appear to be normal looking during the winter months when all the rest of us are bleached white and he’s still got a tan? Most of us anyhow.

And finally, what exactly did Mr. “Boner” mean when he said, “we are not going to be any different from what we’ve been.”

OMG!!!!

We’re all gonna get boned again!!!

(calling my Vet………jussssssst in case.

UPDATE:  I was corrected in my statement that Ms.Pelosi is next in line for the Presidency should the President be incapacitated. She is actually 3rd in line, which should mean that instead of the military jet, she should at least have access to a Piper Cub……or a glider. Maybe even one of those pilotless drones they use over in Afghanistan.

Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV