Bed Bugs Bite Boobs….Well Maybe.

I'm tellin' ya I got a bad rap, the bra was empty so I thought nobody wuz home.

I for one can’t tell a male bedbug from a female bedbug. Not that I’ve ever seen one mind you, but if I had, I still wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.

I suspect however, that the bedbugs that invaded the Manhattan store of Victoria’s Secret on Lexington Ave and 58th Street this past week are definitely males. Smart little buggers.

The store had to be closed for a few hours while exterminators evicted the tiny creatures. Hmmm, if a bedbug is supposed to be in a bed but is in a bra is it then called a “brabug?”

New York health officials say there’s nothing to worry about, stating that the good new is that bedbugs are not particularly dangerous, don’t spread disease, and if you get bit by one, only 30% of those bit actually feel the bite.

THIS IS THE GOOD NEWS?

Geez, I’d hate to hear what the hell the bad news is. And they’re probably not going to tell us either.

I just can’t seem to grasp why any self-respecting bed bug would want to hang out at Victoria’s Secret in the first place.  I’m sure there are no beds for them to hang out in.  So what’s the attraction?

One can only imagine this on a larger scope of imagination.

Perhaps there is some truth to reincarnation and some of us come back as bedbugs……….male bedbugs. If that were the case, as far-fetched as it may seem, then it could be a possibility that males, at the moment of death, are instantly reincarnated into bedbugs.  I would suspect rather than going to hell, that would be the alternative. Only really bad males would come back as bedbugs.

The rest of us, who have led a good life, might come back as other creatures less threatening, say like ladybugs, or grasshoppers or even household pets.  Again, why else would a bedbug invade Victoria’s Secret unless it were one of those males reincarnated as a bedbug.

I personally think this calls for some sort of scientific study. First, determine the sex of those bedbugs at VS. If they all turn out to be of the male species, which I suspect they would, this could open up a whole new area of study into reincarnation.

Next would be to find female bedbugs, say at a Manhattan high-priced women’s clothing store. That would definitely prove my point. I’d check the shoe and dress departments first and then move on to expensive jewelry.

Point proved. Female bedbugs at Jareds….male budbugs at Victoria’s Secret.

So this discovery of bedbugs in Manhattan may be proof to unlocking the key to everlasting life…………as a bedbug.

Until someone takes the initiative to conduct this scientific study, I would advise all women purchasing any underwear items at Victoria’s Secret in Manhattan to bring along a male companion to the store.  Let him try on that sexy little number FIRST.  If nothing bites him, you can rest assured those bedbugs are males. In that case it would be safe for you to try it on.

Unless……………bedbugs can go in either direction.

The don’t ask………..don’t tell policy.

Works for the U. S. Armed Services….why not bedbugs?

Copyright 2010 MisfitWisdom RLV