Reprise Sunday: The Easter Bunny Conspiracy

For years on end I’ve been on this crusade to gain respect for chickens when it comes to Easter and Easter eggs. Look folks, who TF do ya think lays all those stinkin’ colored eggs that the Bunny gets credit for every Easter. THE CHICKENS!!!!

YES! Chickens ya damn dummies. Stop with the Easter Bunny getting all the credit for cripes sake.

Soooooo, once again here’s my 5th consecutive year of standing up for the rights of the Easter Chicken with yet another reprise of my Easter Sunday blog.

 

Easter 2017……The Chicken Vs. The Stinkin’ Rabbit

 

Yeah,

Tis the season once again when I take up the cause for neglected chickens. So I am once again reprising my post from past Easters in defense of chickens who absolutely get no respect at Easter time.

bunny 4

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, “CHICKENS ARE GETTING SCREWED!”

(NOTE: I am NOT referring to when chickens get it on with roosters)

I’m referring to every time this year, Easter, when chickens do not get the recognition they so well deserve for producing all those eggs that the stinkin’ Easter bunny gets credit for.

Who, I ask you, do ya think slaves day in and day out producing egg after egg in a cold straw nest in some coop somewhere while that bunny just sits back in his cozy rabbit hole watching “Animal Planet.” It’s the chicken you damn dummies! When….when I ask you is the chicken gonna get the credit it deserves for making Easter eggs? WHEN!

This has been going on way too long if ya ask me. Without the chicken the rabbit would be useless at Easter time. No chickens…..no eggs. It’s as simple as that.

Every year at this time it’s the same old thing. “Ohhhh, is the Easter Bunny coming today mommy?” Or, “Mommy, daddy, can we color some neat eggs for Easter?”  Or, “Please….please…..can I get a real live bunny for Easter?”

Gimmie a freakin’ break. Do ya hear any kid ask their parent for a real live chicken for Easter? NO!  What happens to the chicken at Easter? If you’re not eatin’ ham you’re eatin’ a chicken….that’s what happens. Chickens, like Rodney Dangerfield, get absolutely no respect. I’m tired of it!

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What the hell kinda respect does a chicken get at Easter? I’ll tell ya! “PEEPS.” Yes….those marshmallow yellow candy thingys that resemble chickens…PEEPS! Big damn deal. It’s that rabbit that gets all the recognition. Smiley bunnies all over store advertisements. Chocolate bunnies on the store shelves. Real live bunnies in pet stores. Bunny slippers. And, lest we forget, “rabbit ears,” which were for older TV sets before cable TV. Didn’t hear them called, “chicken ears” did ya.

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And what’s “Playboy Magazine” got for its trademark logo? Yep….a damn rabbit. What’s wrong with having a chicken Mr. Hefner? Not sexy enough for ya?

I somehow suspect that because rabbits multiply quite rapidly by doing what rabbits do when they encounter rabbits of the opposite sex may be the reason “Playboy Magazine” chose a rabbit for their logo. The sex angle folks.bunnny 1

But, again, do ya see any eggs displayed prominently in Playboy? NO! Why? Because there’s NEVER any chickens in Playboy that’s why. Blatant chicken discrimination.

Tom Santos, a friend of mine, wrote a blog last year about his remembrances of Easter. He mentioned that he recalls those wonderful moments in anticipation of Santa Claus coming down the chimney and the Tooth Fairy coming in through the window and leaving a few bucks under his pillow, (his parents were wealthy) but said that he had no idea how the Easter Bunny got into his house.

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I, of course, being quite knowledgeable on the scam the Easter Bunny has going for him, enlightened my friend as to how exactly the Easter Bunny gets eggs, (chicken ones) into ones home. It’s very simple. Bunnies burrow into the ground thereby having access to various plumbing conduits. They simply tap into your bathroom plumbing, scurry up the pipe to your toilet, lift up the seat, distribute their eggs, (chicken ones) and scurry back down the pipe.

For faster exits, bunnies, if detected in someone’s home, simply flush the toilet.

As I advised my friend Tom, this is one reason you should always wash your Easter eggs before consuming them.

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On the other hand, if you accept the fact that the Easter Bunny is nothing more than an opportunist who takes advantage of all the hard work a chicken does, you’ll have some compassion for chickens and start educating your children as to who really does all the hard egg work.

It’s time for the “Easter Chicken” to be recognized. Don’t wait for the U. S. Supreme Court to take up the case in “Chicken Lickin’ vs Peter Rabbit” before you take action. Be brave, stand up for all chickens TODAY!  Yes….TODAY….Easter Sunday.

Thanks

 

MisfitWisdom, along with “Chickens For Equal Rights” and the “Cock-a-doodle-doo Roosters Fife and Drum Core”  sponsored this message.

Remember their rally cry in support of chickens rights: “This ain’t no chicken shit.”

IIIIII

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Copyright 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017 MisfitWisdom RLV

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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One Response to Reprise Sunday: The Easter Bunny Conspiracy

  1. Harry Hamid says:

    Obviously, the bunny’s talent comes with the colroing of the eggs… and the hiding, I guess.

    Everybody knows that chickens can’t do that.

    If we left it up to the chickens, the eggs would be one color and all in one place, and what kind of holiday is that? The holiday is all about the placement and coloring. Somehow.

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