Kellyanne Conway’s Facts of Alternative Facts*

*Subtitled: I Can’t Believe I’m Actually Saying These Things and Those Idiot Trump Supporters Are Buying Into It.kellyanne1

George Washington did not chop down that cherry tree and then confess to his father by saying, “I cannot tell a lie.” What actually happened is that the cherry tree actually fell down and George felt this was an opportunity to cash in on his image by confessing to his father that he chopped it down so that he would appear to be an honest kid when if fact he was an opportunistic lying SOB.gw3

Abraham Lincoln was not born in a log cabin. He was actually raised in what was to become the first condo complex made out of log cabins located on the South side of Illinois which was manufactured by the Lincoln Log Company which his father owned.

Abe's original condo unit

Abe’s original condo unit

Thomas Dewey actually did win the presidency against Harry Truman but because the lying mainstream media reversed that headline the next day that Truman had actually won the election people believed them and told Dewey to get lost and they ran him out of town on a rail.

Alternative fact

Alternative fact

John F. Kennedy’s famous speech “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country” was changed from “Ask not what you can do for your country, but what can your country do for you.” (original JFK speech was written by Melania Trump -yet another alternative unknown fact)melania1

George Orwell’s book, “1984” was actually first called “2017” but he changed it figuring we’d all be dead by 2017 because some idiot President would be elected somewhere between late 2016 and 2017, which makes sense to me because he had a vision Hillary Clinton would be President in a dream he had one night. The following evening he had the same exact dream only he saw Donald Trump as President and went with naming the book “2017” but his publisher rejected that title as being too far-fetched considering nobody would know who TF either of those two people were. (I think Orwell’s headstone says, “I Told Ya So”)orwell

Donald Trump, my boss, and, I’ll remind you, THE PRESIDENT! never said he’d like to grab pussy. He said, “I love to grab pussycats because they’re so soft and furry.”

mmm

Unless there’s another hot pussy around

Emperor Trump’s birthday is NOT June 14, 1946 as the media falsely claims. Because we Republicans and right to lifers believe life begins at conception Donald’s birthday is actually October 14, 1945 which, is yet another alternative fact if you consider that is 9 months earlier than June.

My hair is outta place

My hair is outta place

 

Much has been said about press secretary Sean Spicer telling the press to “shut up.” Once again the mainstream media got it wrong taking things out of context. Mr. Spicer was actually talking into his hidden microphone to his aides in the back room who were feeding him answers to questions the press was asking. Unable to hear the press and his aides at the same time he said, “shut up.”alternative-facts

In conclusion, there is such a thing as “alternative facts” which Kellyanne stated at one of her press conferences. Alternative facts are facts that are alternative to facts that are not actually facts but facts that can be altered to reflect alternative facts that show that facts cannot be taken seriously unless one first examines the alternative facts to see if they make more sense than facts which sometime, in most cases, are not actually facts and can be proven wrong by simply listening to alternative facts. And that IS a fact. Or, an alternative one.

Unless their alternative facts

Unless they’re alternative facts

Hope this clears everything up for ya folks.

Meanwhile………………….The Most Popular Part of New York: 'Trump-Free Zone.'

MisfitWisdom 2017

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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