That ONE day that anyone with a working brain will be celebrating this month will be November 9th. THE DAY AFTER THE 2016 ELECTION.
1. I will stop frothing out of my mouth.
2. Every time I turn on my television I WILL NOT see another negative TV ad for ANY politician.
3. If Trump loses the only time I’ll hear that name again is if I’m playing a game of Bridge…..hopefully.
3a. If Trump wins I’m keeping a close eye on my “pussycats.” Just sayin.’
4. If Clinton wins I KNOW this years Christmas gift list will be a lot shorter. (those people who “I” unfriended and who “unfriended” me because I voted for Hillary)
And finally, 5. I can stop taking my tranquilizers.
OK…….now for other less nerve-wracking events this month.
This month is “Aviation History Month.” I usually take advantage of this celebration of Aviation Month by telling certain people who piss me off to go take a flying” f**k.” Seems appropriate don’t ya think?
November is also “International Drum Month.”
For you readers who have no freakin’ idea who Gene Krupa is, consider him an early version of Phil Collins of Genesis. But much better……….(watch the video below)
“National Novel Writing Month.” Been there – done that.
“Peanut Butter Lovers Month.” Um….excuse me….got peanut butter on my keyboard…DAMN!
So, you now have a choice of celebrating the entire month with your choices above, or, if you have a short attention span, or are just short, here’s November’s list of DAYS you can celebrate.
November 2nd is “Plan Your Epitaph Day.” Because, ya never know. If ya catch my drift.
The 3rd is “Housewife’s Day.” Yes, I know, hard to believe there are still housewife’s around today. But, trust me, there are. I think they all reside in New Jersey.
“Sandwich Day” we celebrate on November 3rd. Or, as we former Rhode Islander’s pronounce it, “Sangwich Day.”
Once a year writing this nonsensical blog I get to mention King Tut’s Drive-In Restaurant in Beckley, West Virginia. November 4th is “King Tut Day” So, I guess, in honor of the late King Tut, (the dead guy) I went with the restaurant angle only because my other half is from Beckley and it makes her long for a TUT burger and fries. However, check out their sign. When there, I opted for McDonald’s.
WAIT! What’s on their menu…………………
“Book Lovers Day” is on the first Saturday of the month which I think falls on November 5th this year. Whatever. If you read books on a Kindle, it may still count as celebrating this day. Not sure.
“Marooned Without A Compass Day,” or, considering we all have GPS systems now, it could be changed to “Marooned Without A GPS System Day” we celebrate on November 6th.
“Saxophone Day” (blow your brains out pal) is on the 6th. Anybody remember Bill Doggett?
Now if you’re my age, (prehistoric) you’ll immediately think of the good of rock and roll when saxophones ruled. “Honkey Tonk” by Bill Doggett for instance. BUT……..there’s a sexier side of saxophones as well………(trust me on this one)
OH…….and enjoy Candy Dulfer’s outfit and adorable dimples. Oh yeah……the sax too. Or the sex…….as in her outfit.
Want more. Visit Candy’s site for tour info at http://www.candydulfer.nl
“Cook Something Bold Day” is on the 8th.
Ok….here we go……..tranquilizer day. “U. S. General Election Day.” Or, as many of us laughingly refer to it as, “Politicalclusterfuckday.”
Appropriately following our national elections on the 9th is “Chaos Never Dies Day.”
“The 11th is “Veteran’s Day.” Need I say more.
One of my favorite days in November is “Sadie Hawkins Day.” Created by cartoonist Al Capp many eons ago as part of his “Lil Abner” comic strip which appeared in many daily newspapers.
Here’s how it all began.
If you’ve ever had an operation, today is the day you need to give thanks to all operating room nurses as November 14th is “Operating Room Nurse Day.” They deserve a lot of respect. If only for having to endure the site of an endoscopy tube being shove up some guys butt. Not a pretty site.
The 15th is “Clean Your Refrigerator Day.” Or, as we call it here at the MisfitWisdom household, “Mold Containment Day.”
“National Philanthropy Day” (the day when any of my followers who have hit the lottery are supposed to share with me) is on November 15th.
“Button Day” we celebrate on the 16th. Why? Who TF knows.
“Electronic Greeting Card Day” is on the 17th. Considering a lot of us have opted to save a buck (cheapskates) and send greeting cards by e-mail, if you get one of those electronic greeting cars, show your appreciation by sending them this thank you card for caring so much.This entire blog, so far, has been absurd…so to speak…which I just did. So, to honor this blog, along with absurdity, I will celebrate “Absurdity Day” on November 20th.
“False Confession Day” is on the 21st. Um….been there……done that. Um…er…..I’m going to hell aren’t I.
Considering this election this year, “Evolution Day” is on November 24th. Have we REALLY evolved?
Yes, we all know….the bird is the word on the 24th. “Thanksgiving.”
The 24th is “Shopping Reminder Day.” Which works for men. But do ya REALLY have to remind ANY woman to shop!!!!
FINALLY…….on November 27th, ………………………Hmmmmm…..maybe I should keep all of you on pins and needles.
Ah, screw it……the 27th is “Pins and Needles Day.”
Ok……that’s it folks. Now more of enduring the next few days until November 8th. Should sanity prevail, I’ll be back with my normal nonsense. Providing of course, I still have followers after taking over a month off.
For the entire list of days you can celebrate visit http://www.holidayinsights.com
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