To Flea or Not To Flea

New Hampshire fleas

New Hampshire fleas

First, let me clarify something here. We’ve had cats in our house since the beginning of time. Which for me, (the beginning of time) was when my other half and I moved in together.

And, not once in all the years that we have been together have we EVER encountered a flea. Mainly, I would assume, because all our cats have been indoor cats. Soooooo, we both assumed that indoor cats = no fleas. Made sense to us.

BUT…….we were wrong. OMFG!!!!flea3

So, for the sake of humor, let me backtrack a week or so.

Also, before I backtrack, another clarification. “I” am an optimist. My other half is a pessimist. Good match….ya think.

Soooooo. Here’s how it went in the MisfitWisdom household for the past few weeks.

(starting…….for the sake of repetition, with just the last few days)

(Day 1)

“Honeeeeee, Olivia (one cat) is scratching. What’s wrong with her?”

“Um, maybe she has an itch. I get them on occasion.”

“But she’s scratching more than usual.”

“Um, ok, so maybe she has dry skin or somethin’. Hey, cats scratch all the time for cripes sake!”

“Oh, you think that’s all it is? You don’t think that maybe she has fleas?”

“FLEAS!!! Are ya kiddin’ me. Where the hell would she get fleas? All our cats are indoor cats.”

“Yeah, I guess your right. Maybe it’s just an itch.flea1

(Day 2)

“Honeeeeee, Olivia (same cat) is scratching. What’s wrong with her?”

“Um, didn’t we have this same conversation yesterday or am I in one of those recurring dreams where you continually ask me the same question in an attempt to drive me nuts.”

“NO! She’s scratching more and more and I found little tiny scabs under her fur.”

“Well, she DOES have claws and if “I” had claws and were scratching I’d have scabs. Come to think of it, when you scratch yourself in the middle of the night don’t YOU wake up with a scab every now and then?”

“Um, yeah, ok, I guess you’re right.”itch3

(Day 3)

“Honeeeeee, Olivia (same cat) is scratching. What’s wrong with her?”

“OMFG….how the hell do I know. She seems ok to me other than maybe she IS scratching a bit more than usual. Have you looked to see if there are fleas on her? Might be a clue ya know.”

“Um, I did but all I found were little back dust thingys.”

“Dust thingys? When was the last time you vacuumed the cats?”

“Honey! I never vacuum the cats!”

“Seeeee, there’s your problem. No wonder she’s scratching. She’s covered in dust. Come to think of it, I’m all of a sudden feeling itchy. I think ya better drag out the vacuum cleaner and dust mop.”

Donald Trump's wife at home

Donald Trump’s wife at home

(Day 4)

“Honeeeeee, Cassie (2nd cat) is scratching. What’s wrong with her?”


“Ya know ya driving me crazy with all this scratching stuff don’t ya. I suppose you found those dust thingys on her too!”

“YES! I’m going to brush her just to show you.”

(brushing cat)

“OMFG!!!!  OMFG!!! OMFG!!!


(thinking she was having the big one and I should dial 911)

“I found a flea!!!”

“How many?”


“OK, let me logically sort this all out. Those dust thingys are from fleas. The cats are scratching from fleas. And you found ONE flea so this means………………”


“Ok Ok, do not panic. We’re both adults here. You’re not getting bitten, neither am I so perhaps it’s one flea who somehow found its way into the house, (Gawd knows how) and is jumping from cat to cat. We’ll take her to the vet…ok.”

“OK……….BUT I TOLD YOU SO!”flea7

(Day 5)

“Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow,” (the entire 18 mile trip to the vet and two Excedrin’s later)

(Vet) “Yes, Olivia has fleas…or, a flea, whatever, so here’s what ya do. (explaining what we should do)

“So, I sez, “But doc, all our cats are indoor cats, how in the hell would any of them get fleas!”

His reply, “YOU! AND….you probably have mice.”

(this is the part where women, namely my other half gloat)

“ME! WTF?  I don’t have fleas! And do ya actually think any self-respecting mouse is gonna come into a house with 3 cats!!!!!”

“(Vet) Do you work outdoors in your backyard?”


“Well there ya go. You probably had a flea jump on you and brought it into the house.”

(second part of other half gloating)

“Um, dear, didn’t you say there was a mouse living in our shed and you found mouse poop out there?”

“Um, yeah.”

(vet and my other half give me the I told ya so gaze as I slink into the chair)

Sooooooo, $169 dollars later and an agonizing, (meow factor) round trip of 36 miles the problem has been resolved. Cats all get treated.flea5

And the ride back home………………………..

The only other option. (duct tape available at Lowes and Home Depot)

I managed to subdue the snarky, “I told you I was right,” on the ride back home

And I have not heard……………

“Honeeeeee, Olivia (one cat) is scratching. What’s wrong with her?”

BUT……….now its been replaced with…………….

“Olivia, are you alright now. Cassie, are you ok too? How about you Spencer?”

Which I expect to hear every night for the next 3 months until their last dose of medication in November.

Which brings to mind the following cartoon…………..

Justifiable homacide

Sorry honeeeee……………dog not sorryHEY! Cut me some slack here. Ya know what its like to live with a woman who was right!

Just sayin.’

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Copyright 2016 MisfitWisdom RLV







About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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