How To Make A Marriage Last…..Move To Mars

'They're colonizing Mars! Maybe you should write up a whole new set of rules for them!'

Now for the record, marriage and surviving a marriage can be a real challenge. There are many factors that contribute to marriages failing.

Besides divorce.

Speaking for men, or, as a man I should say, which I just did, if you were paying attention, in my opinion the two most reasons marriages fail is when a woman sez, “Not tonight dear, I have a headache,” and that other classic line, “Because.”

For women, and, not being a woman, I can only “guess” that their reasons would be because all men, after years of marriage, are insensitive couch potato beer drinking football addictive slugs. The second reason, (I’m guessing here so cut me some slack women) we always have sex on the brain. mens brain2

Soooooooo, how do ya make a marriage last? You volunteer to be one of the first married couples to fly to Mars. Which I might add is a one way no return trip.

So basically if the marriage doesn’t work, you’re both screwed. Or not, depending if females can get headaches while living on Mars.

Far fetched ya think?

Well hold on to your retro rockets. It can happen and YOU and your true love can get in on this once in a lifetime (literally) opportunity.


Hmmmm…….”Stem Education?”

In January 2018 Dennis Tito and his “Mission For America” aerospace team will attempt to send two people on a budget-class fly of Mars. Possibly so that you can determine if you wanna go back and attempt to be the first to colonize the planet.tito1

Then possibly have the chance to return, land, and become the red planet’s Adam and Eve.

OR…….Bob and Carol……….whatever.



There may be a ban on carrying apples on this flight if ya catch my drift. (Serpent factor….jusssst in case)

The entire trip, if you count returning from the fly by, will take about 501 days. So, as Tito sez, “When you’re out that far you’re going to need someone you can hug.”


(My first choice would NOT be a hug)

Tito, 72, won’t fly the mission. Instead, he will send a man and woman — preferably married — to fairly represent humanity.

Sounds kinda logical to me.tito5

I would suggest to Mr. Tito that he enlist a recently married couple as the odds of them not killing one another after being in a cramped space capsule for 501 days would seem a better bet.

OR……..should it be very difficult to find a young married couple, considering young married couples really wanna get it on a lot with each other, unlike older couples, so why should they volunteer in what may be a short-lived marriage, then I would suggest getting an older couple.

Yeaaaa....we're goin' to Mars

Yeaaaa….we’re goin’ to Mars

Perhaps some old coot on Viagra and his babe who could really take advantage of a four-hour erection considering what the hell else would one do in space for 501 days.

BUT………obviously his spouse would have to be hypnotized to eradicate the word “because” from her brain, be verrrrry fertile, and most of all, the ship would have to be stocked with prescription strength headache medication.

OR….if they’re really not 100% sure this space trip will make it back, go to the “Eternal Happiness Rest Home” and find some old couple who don’t give a rats ass about ANYTHING and getting THEM to volunteer. After all, what the hell else do they have to look forward to.

Death perhaps….either way it’s a win win situation.


Along with a ticket to Mars

So, in conclusion, if you are actually a bit intrigued by this one in a lifetime, (again literally) opportunity you can look up millionaire mission sponsor Dennis Tito via the Internet and get your name on the list. Especially if you’re planning your wedding sometime in 2018 when the trip to Mars is scheduled.

Or………if you are one of those people who are absolutely terrified that Donald Trump may become President of the Yew United States and just wanna leave the country….or in this case, the world.

Just sayin.

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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