Why I Think Bruce Jenner Changed Genders………….Men’s Clothes Suck!

Fittings for jeans: Cept slim skinny

Fittings for jeans: Cept slim skinny short guys

In fact,I think a lot of males who have had a sex change to female might have done it for one reason and one reason only.

MEN’S CLOTHING SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!bruce2

Now I can only speak for myself, but, considering I can NEVER find anything that fits me perfectly, specifically jeans, BUT when I shop in a store with my other half I see all sorts of jeans that would fit me to a “T”, I can completely understand why guys might consider transgender surgery.

Women’s clothes are far better than men’s. Well, at least for most women who use common sense when shopping.jeans11

Not that I’d opt for transgender surgery mind you, or wear women’s clothing, (at least not in public….only kidding) but it totally pisses me off.

Now let me explain my frustration further. I’m 5 feet 4 inches tall. I weigh about 142 and my jeans have to be a 33 to 34 waist with a 29 inseam and they have to be labeled “slim/skinny” or “straight/skinny.” Which basically means the leg is almost tight and the cuff bottom is narrow.

Otherwise if I buy anything else it appears that I am floating in my jeans and have no visible feet.

mmm

Um…..great…now can ya get me some oxygen

Sooooooo. Do ya think I can find any? Of course not. Yes, I can find my waist size, (sometimes…but not very often….because stores cater to fat males and skinny women) BUT, I can’t find my 29″ inseam.

And those bastards lie when they label those jeans as “29”, which by the way is a rarity, because when I go to the tailor, they still have to take off 2 to 3 inches off the length. WTF!

But women….SHAZAM….EVERYTHING FITS! Well, providing you’re trying to get into a size that’s your actual size and NOT the size you think you are.

The late Frank Frosnick's last words before the EMT's arrived

The late Frank Frosnick’s last words before the EMT’s arrived

So, just for the hell of it, while my other half was, for the millionth time, searching for the perfect purse, (I swear she has over 50 in her closet) I sauntered over to the women’s jeans department and, once again, SHAZAM! every pair was a slim skinny or a straight skinny that I’m sure I could get into with no problem

Yes, I know there’s a joke in there somewhere about getting into women’s pants, but I’m not gonna go there ya damn perv.

Um….on second thought……………

OK...OK....once in a while.....

OK…OK….once in a while…..

Soreeeee……couldn’t resist that one.

Nope.............

Nope………….

I was actually tempted to try a few of them on but I kinda figured the store perv security alarm might go off once I started to head for the dressing room.

The other problem there is that, clothing manufacturers, brilliant as they are, and devilishly devious, know that guys might buy women’s jeans because the look and feel better and because guys like me might buy them, soooooo, they reverse the buttons on women’s clothes so ya won’t buy them. Bastards.

Cowboys also have the same problem finding the right pair of jeans

Cowboys also have the same problem finding the right pair of jeans

Hence, I figure that was the dilemma Bruce Jenner faced one day while looking over his wardrobe after years of just hanging out in professional wife beater shirts, shorts and sneakers.

Obviously he couldn’t find clothes that fit him perfectly, other than women’s clothes, which fit him perfectly, so, he most likely said to himself, “F**k it……..I’m getting a sex change.”

Bruce….um….sorry…I mean Caitlyn….ah feel yer pain.

I might add that most of the “pain”I feel is leaving my tailor after having three pairs of jeans hemmed and it cost me $36!!!!!!!!!!!!

More than the freakin’ cost of the damn jeans for cripes sake.

mmmmmm

Which is why she nails me for $36 bucks!

I suspect Bruce/Caitlyn thought the same thing. Spend as fortune at the tailors, or, have a sex change and shop at Victoria’s Secret with the money you’d be saving from not having clothes altered.

Obviously at my age, (dinosaur) its way to late to consider having a sex change. Not only because I’m ancient, but I’ve already invested what seems like thousands of dollars having jeans altered to fit me and I figure they will now outlast me and when I finally buy the farm my other half will donate them to Goodwill where some short guy will think he fell into pig heaven.

At MY expense.

(sigh)

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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