If you’re one of those people who have no friends, lead an extremely boring life, and even animals tend to ignore you, fear not, here’s a list of activities during the month of June to get your mind off of being such a freakin’ loser.
True….you’ll still be a loser if you chose to partake in any of these June celebrations, but, a happy loser….at least in your own mind.
As always, a look at celebrations all month long first.
I have no idea why TF we celebrate “”Fight the Filthy Fly Month,” in June but I suppose if you wanna participate in giving flys a bath…knock yourself out pal.
June is also “Gay Pride Month.” This has nothing to do with honoring the WWII plane “Enola Gay” nor the guy on “NCIS New Orleans” named Pride. Sometimes ya have to make these things perfectly clear.
Also the entire month is “National Accordion Awareness Month.” Always be alert this month as you never know when some nut job will pop out of an alley carrying an accordion and subject you to a version of Lawrence Welk’s theme song, “Bubbles In The Wine.”
Hmmmm. I’ll save ya the agony and let you get it over with now……………
Finally, the entire month is “National Adopt A Cat Month.” Sooooooooooooo many cats that need to be adopted at shelters……………soooooooo little time to choose one, cept in June when ya have all month to make a decision. Or….just adopt one each day in June. Solves THAT problem.
Ok……..now the days you should be celebrating………….
June 1st is “Dare Day.” Which can also be “Double Dog Dare Day,” or “Triple Dog Dare Day.” Guess it depends how “daring” you are.
“National Bubba Day” we celebrate on the 2nd. And we all know which “bubba” immediately comes to mind.
The 3rd is “National Donut Day.” Yes I will celebrate this day by having my chocolate covered lemon filled donut by driving 35 miles into Rhode Island and stopping by a Dunkin Donuts which has enough common sense to make my favorite donut.
Unlike a donut shop 1/2 mile from my house who still remains brain-dead and refuses to make that donut. EVEN though I begged and whined and pleaded. Even told them I’d pay them for dipping their lemon filled donut into chocolate.
Think it worked. Yep….one stinkin’ time.
Then I apparently pissed them off by writing a blog that they thought was off-color.
I won’t mention their name.
Um……..f**k it……Krispy Kreme.
HEY…..was THAT off-color enough for ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On June 4th you can celebrate “Hug Your Cat Day” by…….(duh) hugging your cat. If you don’t have a cat, hug your dog, snake, rabbit, wife, whatever. It’s the thought that counts.
“Old Maid’s Day” is on June 4th. (same day as hugging a cat…..ironic isn’t it)
And….once again, the infamous “Yo Yo Man”…………………….you might as well learn something here……………….
“Donald Duck Day,” is on June 9th. You may honor Donald by not wearing pants, as you can see the Donald does not. Only because he can get away with it because he has no visible genitalia.“National Corn On The Cob Day,” (oh joy) is on June 11th. I know, it’s a bit corny to celebrate, but, what the hell.
Of course we celebrate “Father’s Day” on June 19th. If you actually know, (in this day and age) who your father is, hey, give him an ol pat on the back and a big hug for sticking it out.
June 21st is “International Yogi Day.”
Um…..sorry, got that wrong. It’s actually “International Yoga Day.” The day people drive the workers who answer 911 calls bonkers.
“Take Your Dog To Work Day” is on June 24th.
Soreeeee………..couldn’t resist posting that last cartoon
If you’re into meteors, June 30th is your lucky day fella. Yep, “Meteor Day.”
So there ya have it. Take your pick, mark your calendar, and knock yourselves out.
My choice……..one that I did not list above. Which is, “Monkey Around Day” celebrated on June 14th. Which as nothing to do with monkeys and a lot to do with monkeying around. Depending, of course, what you think monkeying around is.
I’m thinking, sex.
HEY! WTF……..what the hell would YOU call monkeying around pal?
Unless you work in a zoo and…um……neverrrrr mind.
Anyhow………………time to monkey around………as soon as I finish this blog………….
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