Um…….well its really not a list as one would actually define a “list” as a number of things.
Having a short attention span, as well as being short, I opted to only have one item on my bucket list. As I said in yesterday’s blog, waste not want not.
Considering I’ve done a lot of things in my life, I really don’t need an actual bucket, or a list. What I need is some big bucks and possibly a winning Powerball ticket.
No……winning the Powerball was not on my list but it would help realizing my “bucket list” if I actually had a “list.”
OK….here it is. Sell the homestead, buy one of those huge busses, like the kind groups on tour use, and drive my butt off all over the Yew Nited States.
Of course on the same list are the following letters I would send out on the day I hit the road to Comcast, my water utility company, Frontier Communications, my oil company, and the town tax collector.
Actually the same letter to all of them that starts out, “Dear (insert name here) go f**k yourselves…..see ya.”
So we figured we’d need one of those huge busses because we have three cats, and, of course, they’d need their own room. (privacy issue)
One bedroom for us, one for the cats, a living room, kitchen, full bath, and a tow bar on the rear to hook up either a three-wheeled motorcycle, (I’d kill myself on a two-wheeler) or one of those Mini Gary Coopers.
So now ya see why I have to hit the Powerball. Or sell the homestead for around $400.000. Fat chance.
(NOTE) My other half sez that if I do not realize that dream, upon my demise, she will hack me up in pieces and ship me to those four states. Kinda like a win win situation.
So with that plan in mind, I figured I’d rename the MisfitWisdom blog and call it “MisfitWisdom On The Road.” Kinda like the old CBS series with the late Charles Kuralt.
Having a seriously demented mind I’ve already thought of places, other than the four states, that I’d like to write blogs from along with photos. Like going to Niagara Falls and peeing off the cliff on the Canadian side. Screw that going over the falls in a barrel crap. I ain’t nuts ya know.
Then perhaps visiting the Alamo in Texas and wearing a coonskin Davy Crockett cap hanging over the side of the Alamo with an arrow stuck in my chest.
Same with visiting the site of the Battle of Little Bighorn where General George Custer uttered those infamous last words, “Holy crap, look at all those f**king Indians.”
Then going up to South Dakota and climbing up the rear of Mt. Rushmore, sticking my head between Lincoln and Roosevelt.
Yes, having followed the JFK assassination for eons and knowing quite well that (duh) the shots originated from the Grassy Knoll, I’d climb the hill to the knoll, and hold up a huge sign that says, “THE SHOTS CAME FROM HERE YOU FREAKIN’ IDIOTS.” I might also evoke the use of the bird in that photo.
Of course I HAVE to include visiting Beckley, West (by Gawd) Virginia as that’s where my other half is from and I had no choice in that decision. So, to make the best of that trip, I figured I’d visit an actual coal mine and film myself covered in coal dust while listening to Lee Dorsey singing “Working In A Coal Mine” on my iPhone. (cough)
Sorry…..thinking of that coal dust I had to clear my throat.
Sooooooo many places to visit, sooooooo little time. HEY……..I’m waaaaay over the hill so how much time could I possibly have. Geesh.
But, one last one, so this blog doesn’t go on endlessly with all the places I wanna visit, would be Wasilla, Alaska, the home town of Sarah Palin.
Not that I’m a fan of Palin, or big grizzly bears that roam the countryside freely, but only to see if I stand just outside of Palin’s house if “I” could actually see Russia like Sarah does.
So basically that’s some of the places I’d visit.
However, considering the chances of EVER hitting Powerball or selling my house for $400,000 I think my bucket may have a big hole in it.
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