Thank Gawd…..It’s Perfectly OK To Pee In New York City…….Somewhat…….

pee9

I say somewhat because in the past if you peed in New York City you could have been arrested.

Um, let me clarify that a bit. In the past if you peed in New York City, “in public” you could have been arrested.

mmmmm

This law may also apply to dogs using fire hydrants

Hmmm. Further clarification needed here…..soreeeeeeee.

If you peed in New York City, (Manhattan) in public, meaning not in a restroom, you could be arrested. But…….apparently not any more. It’s perfectly ok to pee in public.

mmmm

Then again, maybe peeing in the park is a better option rather than freaking everyone out in a restroom

Um….WAIT! (reading article once again for the 3rd time)

Ok…I got this right now. You CAN pee in public if you really have to pee and can’t make it to a restroom and find a really nice tree or bush to pee behind and not get arrested if some cop comes along and catches you peeing.

BUT…….the police can issue you a summons for peeing which, I guess, basically means you have to appear in court and tell the judge why you had to pee. In public.

Unless you’re a dog. Then, all options are open.

Sometimes it's just too hard to resist

Sometimes it’s just too hard to resist

However, dogs have much better options in New York

And, as we all know, dogs have much better options in New York

The reason for this change in the law is that only fewer that 10,000 peeing in public cases have been brought against offenders……..peeing in public.

Hmmmm. If you pee in public and no public is around to see you peeing other than the cop is it still considered peeing in public? Tough call there.

“OK pal, stick your Johnson back into yer pants and zip it up. I’m giving you a summons for peeing in public.”

“Um, but officer, I wasn’t actually technically peeing in public.”

“”Huh, whaddya talkin’ about. I just saw you peeing on that forsythia bush.”

“Oh, yeah I was. But, did ya actually see any public watching me pee?”

“Well technically no, but I saw you peeing.”

“Oh yeah, well that doesn’t count.”

“And why not?”

“Cause you ain’t actually the public. You’re an official officer of the law and therefore not really an ordinary type public person who might or might not be offended. So therefore and forsooth I am in the clear as I was not really being observed by an official bona fide New Yorker who is not employed by law enforcement and could give a rats ass about people peeing in public.”

“Hmmmm. Good point pal. I’ll let ya off this time with a warning. And only because I have to take a whiz myself……move over.”

But,

But, beware those extreme anti-peeing in public whackos

The official statement which clarifies this even more goes like this:

“Through this initiative, we are devoting our resources to best protect and serve New Yorker’s. By ensuring courts are not unnecessarily bogged down with minor offenses committed by those who pose no threat to public safety, we help focus police and prosecutorial resources on those who commit serious crimes.”

“Offenders with open warrants will still be taken into custody but will only have to deal with a summons, not a new criminal case.”

Which basically means that if you peed in the past and have an open warrant, or pants, you will still have to deal with your summons.

“Under the new policy, which goes into effect on Monday, the Manhattan DA’s office won’t prosecute violations like public consumption of alcohol, public urination and subway offenses like riding between train cars.”

These changes, as mentioned above, include swigging booze down in public, possibly while peeing and riding between subway train cars. In New York, considered an acrobatic feat worthy of doing in public.

Which I guess all New Yorker’s are accustomed to doing.

mmmmm

However, some in the Big Apple are concerned that they were worried that the change would cause quality of life to dip.

Quality of life to dip?

Ohhhhhhhh. Quality of life to dip. Now I get it. If you’re peeing in public behind a bush or tree or whatever, even though, if caught peeing, and even though it will now be a minor offense, you still might want to bend over a bit rather than stand while peeing causing your quality of life, or peeing stance, to dip a little.

Because, as we all know, (for men only) quality of life peeing is best if you are standing in an erect position rather than having to bend over.

Women, on the other hand, considering the peeing position in question, only have one peeing option while in public, therefore their quality of life, or peeing, would not be affected in this case.pee4a

Hope that clears everything up for all of you who wish to pee in public in New York City.pee10

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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