Eunuch? Hmmmm. What’s A Eunuch?

eu1

Being the inquisitive person that I am, and sometimes stoopid, I fleetingly recall what a “eunuch” is, but still had to go to the World Wide Web, where ya can find out almost anything, except exactly how Linda Lovelace did what she did in the movie “Deep Throat.”

Sooooo, when I came across a news blurb about some guy threatening to “eunuch” himself, I HAD to go back to the Web to refresh my mind as to what he exactly was referring to.

mmm

At least till I check the definition of “eunuch.”

First of all here’s part of the news item that caught my roving eye balls.

It seems that a right-wing, (in deference to a left-wing) radio talk show host in Iowa, Steve Deace, threatened to “eunuch” himself  because he’s upset with Ted Cruz’s campaign.

Why you ask? Ok, I’ll tell ya.

Deace is extremely upset because he is disgusted that Cruz is not the “alpha male conservative leader people fell in love with.”

Basically meaning that he’s upset that Cruz is playing paddy cake with Marco Rubio and not taking on Donald Trump who Deace considers the real enemy. He explains that “Cruz’s current messaging and stance against Trump as weak, despite explaining that he is still a “Cruz guy.”

AND…..(here comes the “eunuch” part) “If anyone with the Cruz campaign ever apologizes to Ben Carson again, I may eunuch myself.”

Sooooo, obviously I wanted to clarify as to what exactly he meant by “eunuching” himself.

First of all, WTF does eunuch mean? For those of us who do not have a freakin’ clue.

Um…I mean, after all, how often does the word “eunuch” come up in everyday conversation.

mmmm

Soreeee dear, I have no idea what a eunuch is. Look it up on your computer

Sooooo, I dragged out my MisfitWisdom dictionary of words nobody has a freakin’ clue as to what they mean and this is the definition I found:

“eu-nuch” (yoonak) – noun: 1. A man who has been castrated, especially (in the past) one employed to guard the woman’s living areas at an oriental court. 2. an ineffectual person.

Hmmm. Ok……then um, Deace is either gonna cut his balls off, or become a guard at an oriental woman’s court, or just slug around town being ineffectual.

Or……figured, what the hell, and remembered this positive note………….eu5

My guess is that he’s gonna cut off his balls just to prove a point. Then perhaps retire from talk radio and perform arias at some opera house or emulate Frankie Valli and go on the road performing Four Seasons songs.

Shereeee, Shereeeee Baybeeee………………..

Now I personally think this is a rather drastic measure to take simply because he’s upset with Cruz. I mean, cripes, there’s no turning back on THAT decision.

I mean, it’s not like saying, “Hey, if Trump is elected I’m gonna move to Canada.” Which, many people have claimed they would do, BUT, if they change their minds later on, can move back to the USA. Cut your balls off and basically you’re screwed.

Um…..or not…….if ya catch my drift there.

mmmmm

Why Geppetto never gave Pinocchio a set of balls

Now I’m well aware that the Bible is full of eunuchs. Why? Beats the crap outta me. Must have been the in thing to have yourself de-balled back then or something. Or, there was a big demand for falsetto voices to sing holy hymns. My guess.

HEY! Do ya ever see an angel in a movie singing bass?

But, all in all, ya gotta hand it to this guy Deace. Or, hand him his balls once he castrates himself. Good conversation piece on his fireplace mantel should he choose to have them bronzed.

“Hey folks, did I ever tell ya the time I had my balls cut off because Ted Cruz pissed me off….comere’……….wanna hold these suckers.”

mmm

Deace is suggesting that people send Cruz a message that they want him to go back to being that alpha male conservative leader that people fell in love with.

Yep…….send Cruz a message. Like maybe joining the eunuch movement and have a ball and send Cruz your balls.

Damn! I’d pay to see THAT!

OR….if you’re a bit squeamish about having your balls snipped off, which is quite understandable as far as I’m concerned, you could always, in a show of support, go to you local veterinarian’s office and ask if they have any spare balls from neutered dogs just lying around.

OR....just go to your local "dog-nuts' store

OR….just go to your local “dog-nuts’ store and pick up a pair

Which then allows you to support Deace’s cause, sends a message to the Cruz campaign, and all without having to become employed to guard the woman’s living areas at an oriental court or forever spending the rest of your life singing Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons songs at a local karaoke bar.

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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