Well, it’s not as simple as that. Actually, writing this blog isn’t simple either. As a matter of fact I don’t have a freakin’ clue what the hell I’m writing about.
Scientists, those people you always avoid at any party lest you wanna fall asleep while they attempt to tell you a scientific joke, are all ecstatic about their newest discovery…..gravity.
“See Professor Grosnickstein. Vee vas right. Dere iss gravity und therefore vee vill not be sucked into da center of da Earth when der black hole opens up in Cleveland.”
At least that’s what I got from reading that story. I think. Not sure.
According to Columbia University astrophysicist Szabolcs Marka, (did ya expect a normal name here) after discovering that scientists have finally detected gravitational waves, the ripples in the fabric of space and time, (not clothing or the kind when you throw a rock into a lake) he declared this “the eureka moment in the history of physics.”
Sooooo, what does this mean to us normal everyday slugs who, as I mentioned above, are still amazed at the ripples we get when we just throw a rock into the water and watch THOSE ripples and call it a “eureka moment.”
Beats the f**k outta me.
BUT, to those brainiacs it means, and I quote here, “we will now be able to hear the soundtrack of the universe and listen as violent collisions reshape the cosmos.”
OR…..it might just be the soundtrack from “HAIR.”
Not to be confused with those violent collisions when two vehicles collide with each other and there are all kinds of car and body parts strewn all over the universe and the only thing that you hear on a soundtrack are the sound of police cars and ambulances.
Now let me see if I can painstakingly explain this in normal speak. Or write.
Only because this discovery is supposed to be much bigger than when they discovered the “God Particle,” known formally as the “Higgs boson.” Whoever Higgs was and whatever the word “boson” means……which I am NOT gonna look up.
Ok…….this is how it was explained.
“Gravitational waves postulated by Albert Einstein in 1916 as part of this theory of general relativity, are extraordinarily faint ripples in space-time, the continuum that combines both time and three-dimensional space. When massive objects like black holes or neutron stars collide, they generate gravitational waves that stretch space-time or cause it to bunch up like a fishing net.”
Ohhhhh. That explains in perfectly. No wonder these scientists are having giant orgasms about this discovery.
To put it, again, in normal speak, for us clods, as I see it, if you’re walking down the street and you feel a ripple under your feet, as faint as it may be, you may have crossed into a space-time continuum, fall into a black hole, and never be heard from again.
OR…..it could just be a 5.7 earthquake on the Richter scale and you could then fall into a plain black hole which has nothing to do with space-time continuum and no scientist would give a rats ass.
Actually I personally was somewhat excited by this space-time continuum theory because I wrote a book a few years ago, (big best seller…NOT) entitled, “The Covert Chamber” which was about space-time continuum, NAZIS, the CIA, FBI, and all sorts of strange characters.
Of course I made up all that stuff in my book, including space-time continuum, because I have a warped mind, (creative but needless to say warped) never knowing that space-time continuum actually was a scientific theory. Go figure.
WHICH…..was the ONLY reason I read this article in the first place. And, saved you from having to read it and be bored outta your tree…..unless you’re a scientist and find this stuff fascinating. The “gravitational wave” discovery and not WTF I’m writing about. Which I still have no clue about.
BUT…..I DID manage to get a plug in for that book of mine.
Thanks Professor, or astrophysicist Szabolcs Marka…..whatever.
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