Speeding Tickets May Take A Hit. OMFG!!! What’s Next…..no more speed traps?


I just can’t imagine driving anywhere without worrying about speed traps. It’s the American way folks. It’s part of our national heritage. I’m sure the founding fathers included “speed traps” somewhere when they wrote the Constitution.


Along with speed traps

“Thouist shalt not allowist such violations by creatures of the four-legged type to be forced to exceed the normal limit of horsie speed whenith manned by individuals who control such reins of thouist animals and maketh them trotith over such roads at excessive speeds. Therebyith and forsooth, it is the opinion of us founding fathers that municipalities shalt erect speed traps to snag such violators and either fine them accordingly or, in excessive instances of very high-speed, shame them in the town square.”

That last part was really a terrible punishment for speeding back then. Worse than getting fined. If they shamed you in the town square, it meant that you had to sit somewhere while people walked by you and yelled, “Shame on you.” Really embarrassing if ya ask me.


File under: We Don’t have a freakin’ clue

Anyhow, getting back to those speed traps. It seems the people who always mange to find ways of getting a tax or a fine dollar outta us are extremely worried about losing money from speeding tickets due to driverless cars.

YES! Driverless cars could mean cities and towns and sheriffs and cops and Gawd knows who else who gain from the issuance of speeding tickets could take a big hit if no one speeds anymore because they’re driving a driverless car.

BECAUSE…..I would guess, if YOU’RE NOT the one driving, and the driverless car is the one doing the driving, then if the driverless car is speeding and gets pulled over, who the hell they gonna ticket?


Makes sense to me…..

Actually, that’s not the problem. The problem is that these new driverless cars have enough brains (computers) that they converse with one another (the cars) and know enough not to speed.driverl3

Unlike us humans who could give a rats ass and really wanna rev that sucker up and see if our new Mustang or Camaro can go from zero to 105 mph in 3 seconds pulling out of a WalMart parking lot.

As well as the number of other possibilities for driverless cars……….

The California state senate has passed a bill approving road-testing of driverless cars. Imagine the possibilities!

In an article by “Washington Post” report Brian Fung, (pause)

Wonder how many times Brian gets, “Hey Brian, “Fung You!!! Heh, heh, heh.”

Probably the same amount of times, (my name being Richard) I get, “Hey, Ya got any gum on ya Dick?” heh, heh, heh.”

Ok, enough of that frivolity.

As I was attempting to say before my mind wandered off the beaten path, as usual, the article by the Post stated that, “Driverless cars are known to behave more cautiously than their human operators. And by virtues of their autonomous vehicles won’t know how to speed, run red lights, park illegally, or make other traffic violations that would result in a ticket. And that could drive some city budgets into a deep hole.”

Which could lead to some of these municipalities taking drastic measures to recoup that lost revenue. Like perhaps erecting new signs on their roads.

Say like, “Welcome to Podunk, Tennessee. Speed limit 5 mph. Anything over that limit and we’ll fine your butt $150.00.”

OR, “Support your local town government in our time of need, SPEED for cripes sake!”

Speeding tickets are a great source of revenue for cities and towns. The District of Columbia, (laughingly referred to by us voters as D.C. for short) makes an average of $37.5 million dollars in fines (which includes speeding tickets) and as the article stated, it’s a “cash cow” for the city’s police.driverl2

And in Michigan, James Tignanelli, president of the Police Officer’s Association says that “police officers in many jurisdictions are being ordered to write tickets, sometimes despite their vocal objections.”

“We’re the only revenue producers in town, once you get past the water department,” said Tignanelli.

So what the guy is sayin’ is that without speeding tickets they’re up the creek when it comes to collecting money from that “cash cow” and they’d have to solely rely on water department revenues. Which, I’m assuming, would be a “drip in the ol bucket.” (sorry)

Damn dog......

Damn dog……

However there is a bright side. The clever thinking Mr. Tignanelli, being the very smart and idea prone guy that he apparently is, said, “If driverless cars seriously start depriving city coffers of ticket revenue, it will likely prompt top officials to pressure police into whipping up new fees and fines.”

Ya gotta love this guy. He probably thinks, “Gawd givith, (speeding tickets) Gawd taketh, (driverless cars) Gawd givith back (new fines) Praise da Lord!!!! Amen.”

He went on to say, with regard to raising more revenue in light of this driverless car crisis, “It’d be dog licenses, or bike licenses – there’s always something.”

YES! There’s always something Mr. Tignanelli. Do not fret. You’ll come up with something I’m sure.speed4

Maybe a sex license. You know. If you’re unmarried and do not have a marriage license, which of course allows you to have sex, (read the small print) then you should be fined if caught having sex if you can not produce a marriage license.speed1

Or……maybe a steep fine for leaving one of those store shopping carts in a parking space and not placing it in one of those shopping cart areas.

Or…..a fine for disposing your chewing gum on any surface that someone could walk on and have that chewing gum attach itself to your shoes or sneakers.

Yep....this would be me

Yep….this would be me

Or…..(during the Winter) a fine for allowing your dog to pee in the snow thereby creating a disgusting sight for those of us who love to view beautiful white snow….and not yellow snow.

Or…..farting in public. Now this one should really carry a steep fine as far as I’m concerned. Maybe double the fine if a violation occurs in an elevator. If ya catch my drift…..which, by the way, is what farts tend to do.speed2

Or…..(I’m on a roll here) a huge fine for peeping Tom’s. Or Dick or Harry’s….whatever. There may already be a fine in place for this offense, but, perhaps they could raise the ante if you’re caught peeping AND driving a driverless car. Just sayin.’


Ok ya little bastard….2 mph in a 1 mph zone…..

My very last suggestion would be to implement a huge fine for stupidity. Like if they actually go through with their idea for licensing bikes for cripes sake. Or baby carriages for that matter. HEY! we’re talkin’ about city officials here folks.

Ya think I’m kidding? Did ya ever think about the fact that you own your own home, maybe someday pay it off, no more mortgage, scott free, you own it, free and clear, BUT…if ya fail to pay city or town officials property tax……SHAZAM! they can take your home, your property, cat, dog, whatever. SEE!

And ya doubted I said city officials were nuts. Like the officials who are now worried about losing money from speeding tickets.

I restith my case.

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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2 Responses to Speeding Tickets May Take A Hit. OMFG!!! What’s Next…..no more speed traps?

  1. OboeJoe says:

    From this Hardman to a real Dick,

    Wonderful post today. They’re always wonderful but this one is a gem. The subject comes at a perfect time. I just got a $75 ticket from a red light camera in Sugar Land, TX. Funny thing is, I was making a legal right-hand turn while the light was red. Yup, looks like a human will not even be required in the traffic fine business. Driverless car makes legal turn at a red light and an automated camera automatically sends a phony fine.

    Ain’t life wonderful (eth).


    • misfit120 says:

      Thanks. Eventually we will all be controlled by these devices. I also feel your pain.I got photographed “speeding” thru an automatic toll booth “EZ Pass” doing 15mph (oh Gawd!) when the speed limit was 10 mph. I am a major felon…….apparently. Anyhow, that’s the main reason I always have a smile on my face now along with my index finger extended whenever I see a camera…….including those on elevators. Kind of my own act of defiance.

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