So Like, What Part Of My English Do Ya Not Understand?

slang1

Yes, I tend to use a lot of (or in Italian “lotta”) slang words when I write my blog. Why you ask? Um, probably because that’s how I actually talk.

Now mind you, I DID spend 30 years as a disc jockey on da radio, BUT, I DID speaka da English language with no slang woids….um….words.Bad Gramma Skool

However, now that I’m not longer in demand on the radio, (too freakin’ old and the music sucks) I’ve gone back to my roots as a kid and tend to use a lot of slang words and, (because I grew up in Rhode Island) tend to use a lot of “R’s” in words that normal people would not use “Rs.”

I thought about this last night watching a woman being interviewed on some news program and she pronounced “Russia” as “Russir.” Obviously I assumed she spent time in Rhode Island, or, as we Rhode Islanders say, “Rhode Diland.”

If she was not from Rhode Island, then she could be brought up on charges of impersonating a Rhode Islander or, at the least, move there and be exonerated.slang5

Now all that said, which I just did, ever since I saw that woman on TV I’ve been thinking about all the other slang words, or as I like to call them, “shortisms,” that a lot of us tend to use.  Lest we have to waste a lot of time actually pronouncing words correctly.

Or write them......

Or write them……

For instance. On many occasions my other half will ask me, “jeet?’ Which, because we have lived together for eons, I understand perfectly. “Jeet” is a “shortism” for, “did you eat?” Hence, jeet. Hey, why waste valuable time and words when ya can narrow it down to one single word. Makes sense to me.

So over the past week I’ve been collecting “shortisms” that we’ve been using and thought, for the sake of all mankind, and womankind, I’d pass them on to you should you also wish to save time whilst conversing with people.

mm

OR…..pricking your finger vs fingering your prick

For instance, “yout” is what I ask my other half when she’s in the shower and I want to go in next. Which basically mean, “are you out.”

Making the coffee at any given time is a dual job. I fill up the coffee filter while she fills up the water in the coffee thingamajig. BUT, she never knows quite how much water to put in so she’ll fill it, hold it up, and say, “snuff?” Which means of course, “is this enough.”

On occasion when I am assigned to my daily chores she will ask me, “didja” finish that project. Shortism for “did you.”

Of course sometimes ya hafta be verrrry careful when you use “shortisms”slang4

When I tend to grab an afternoon snack sometimes she’ll ask me in a sentence, “didja.” Which means “did you just eat an afternoon snack.” Or, using two “shortisms,” “didja jeet.”

No disrespect to anyone of the Jewish faith, but when I go out for a meeting promoting my book “Forgotten” sometimes she will inquire as to if I had something to eat at one of those meeting. Hence, “jeweat?” Which I also guess anyone of the Jewish faith would completely get if anyone asked me that question there. My guess anyhow.

When the phone rings, and it’s not Jake from State Farm at 2am in the morning, she’ll ask, “whoszat?’ Yes, it means, “who was that?”slang6“Zit” is not acne in my house. Being old geezers we never have to worry about zits. BUT….that “shortism” does come in handy when you’re asking the question, “Is this it?” Hence….”zit?”

And, “did you ever” can be shortened to “jever.”

As “doesn’t it” can save you a lot of a lot of time by just saying, “duhnit.”

Wanna call someone over to you and not waste a lot of words, simple, “comere” which is a “shortism” for “come here.”slang8

But my all time favorite is when we are in a discussion and we disagree on something and I say s’not” and she replies s’not back. Which, if you are catching on to these “shortisms” by now means, “is not.”

Of course “s’not” can also be used to tell someone they have something under their nose.

Anyhow, you get the point here………..you can speaka da English language, and use all those “shortisms,” commas and stuff, but, beware, sometimes they can be dangerous……..slang12

So those are some of the over 200 “shortisms” we use around the MisfitWisdom household. Now that said, which I just did, using a lot of “shortisms” ya might wanna try saving a lot of time by implementing this lingo in your household.

In fact, if you have pets, as we do, they can pick up on all this neat conversational stuff as well. I have one cat in particular that never sez “meow” anymore. She simply sez, “mrrr” and I understand her completely.

Oh yeah….”sez” is another “shortism” as I personally feel the word “says” should be spelled as it sounds, which is “sez.”

Eventually any of your animals will pick up on “shortisms” and at some point may even be able to communicate with you on your level.

For instance. If you have an outdoor cat who demands to be let into the house, rather than waste a simple “meow” and have you trying to figure out what it’s saying to you, after using enough “shortisms” they will pick up on how to get their message across in plain English…..as in this example:

SEE! I understood that cat completely.

(translation) “Let me in you motherf**ker or I’m gonna claw your eyes out!!!!”

In conclusion, and my final point for those of you who may be grammatically deficient………

mm

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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