The general opinion, according to the lamebrain media, is that the only reason Donald Trump is leading in the polls is because people are fed up with politicians and Washington, D.C.
After all, for the most part, politicians are basically useless around election time. Actually, all of the time. AND….there are only a few rare exceptions. Those are the ones that actually accomplish something for the betterment of society regardless of their party affiliation.
Not too many of those type politicians around anymore. In fact, I think the last time I actually saw one it was in the Smithsonian Institution. Or was it in a regular institution. Not sure on that one.
Anyhow, The Donald has come up with a lot of stuff that any politician running for office would dare not say, lest he alienate lots of people and loses an election.
But, because he says a lot of those off the wall things, some people love the guy. People actually get all fired up when attending a trump rally. For instance, at a recent campaign event when a protester dared to confront Mr. Trump:
“Light the motherfucker on fire!” a Trump supporter screamed at a protester who was being forcibly removed from a recent Trump rally. “Shoot him! Kick his ass!” raucous Trump supporters screamed at another demonstrator. (The Daily Beast)
So I figure, hey, if HE can get away with those outlandish ideas he has proposed if he becomes president, WTF, so can I.
I have a lot of stupid ideas that I never tell anyone about, BUT NOW……yep, now I can finally list my suggestions should anyone wish to vote for me. So folks, here’s my platform should you can to vote for me.
Um…I’m not actually on any ballot or in any primary but you can always write my name in. Just sayin.’
- On building a wall to keep immigrants out:
Screw spending all that money on a stupid wall to keep out immigrants. They’ll just climb over it with bigger ladders. Or buy one of those drones at WalMart, attach themselves to it and fly over any wall. Duh.
The problem as I see it is that immigrants wanna come here because they think things are better in the U.S. than say, Mexico for instance. So ya wanna keep them out? Simple, run our government like Mexico runs theirs and they’ll be scrambling to go back to Mexico. How simple is that!
2. Repealing Obamacare:
Rather than piss off some 19 million Americans who are already enrolled in the “Affordable Care Act” (Obamacare) simply (if a Republican gets in, or I do) rename it something else. In my case, “The MisfitWisdom Care Act.” Nothing will change of course, but not having Obama’s name on that law will make it seem better. Kinda like “Domino’s Pizza” changing its name to “Domino’s.” Or Kiss’ Gene Simmons whose real name is Chaim Witz.
SEE! It’s all in the name folks.
3. The problem with racism:
Now this one as far as I’m concerned is very simple. Everybody should be required to spray paint themselves with black or white paint so that we are all equal. If everyone is black or white there would not be a racism problem here. Personally I think everyone should pick a neutral color thereby not offending anyone. Or, just use a rainbow mixture thereby appeasing everyone. Cept maybe leprechauns.
4. Abolishing the electorial college:
Frankly its about time we abolished this ancient process of having anyone who went to that stupid electorial college from deciding who should become president. As far as I’m concerned a lot of us normal middle and lower class people could never afford to go to college. So why let those who went to college decide such a important thing as who’s gonna be president. Lets have an electorial high school. Just about everyone has attended high school for cripes sake.
5. Making going topless legal:
Now I know you think this one is outrageous, but it kinda makes sense to me. Men are fascinated and have an obsession with boobs and cleavage. So much so that we tend to lose our concentration when it comes to (duh) concentrating. If women, or men for that matter, were allowed to go topless it would become the norm and eventually accepted to the point where we could actually concentrate on other things. I think.
This is kind of a tough one. But, without resorting to the same tactics that terrorists use, and kind of being a bit humane, the one weapon that is really deadly yet does not cause any injuries, BUT, would make any terrorist lay down their arms, or legs, or whatever, and exit fast…….my suggestion…..the deadly SBD.
Yep, the “Silent But Deadly” fart. Issue our troops anything that makes SBD’s, (jalapenos, beans, eggs etc) send them to the front lines, or into any town harboring terrorists, let them fart their brains out, and I’ll bet ya any self-respecting terrorist would surrender in a heartbeat.
HEY! Ever been in an elevator when someone cuts an SBD?
7. The national deficit:
Ok, the U. S. Government is constantly whining about the deficit. Wah, wha, wha, we don’t have enough money to run the government and we owe all kinds of people money. What to do?
Then again that basically negates MY chances of becoming president. (sigh)
And, we all know The Donald is NEVER gonna go for that suggestion either. Nor will any other candidate. So much for that idea.
Anyhow, those are some of my ideas should you care to vote for me. Can’t be anymore dumber than The Donald’s.
Or are they?
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