The World Is Now A Better Place Now That Scientists Have Developed A Bionic Penis

trans for blog

Sometimes you can’t make this stuff up.

“My Night With the World’s First Bionic Penis”

Even better, how would you like to be a reporter for “The Daily Beast” and have your editor come up to you and say, “Hey Nico Hines, (the DB reporter) howd’ ya like to write an in-depth story on the world’s first bionic penis?”

Which is what Nico did. Hey, beats writing all that boring stuff on the upcoming 2016 election.

Sooooooo, as the story goes, Charlotte Rose, who is a former British “Sex Worker of the Year,” (don’t EVEN ask me how ya get that award) is really looking forward to helping 43 year-old Mohammed Abad, who has a bionic penis, lose his virginity.

mmmm

Lower one doc….the lower one!!!!

Yes, I know, ya wanna know why he needed a bionic penis and why he’s a virgin.

Ok..ok…..when he was six years-old a car barreled into him, dragged his body 600 yards, and, (The Daily Beast’s words) “ripped his dick clean off.”

Of course “I” would have put it more diplomatically, but “I” didn’t write that article.

I might have said, “Ripped his “Woody” or “Johnson” clean off.

Being that MY NAME is “DICK” I kinda get all bent outta shape when people refer to their penises as  a dick. As I assume Artie “Johnson” or “Woody” Harrelson would also be offended.

Anyhow, as the story goes, when Mo was 37 he received a letter offering him an experimental new medical procedure which involved doctors actually being able to make him a bionic penis.

Um, why is it I’m thinking about Lindsay Wagner right now?wagner

It took 118 procedures to get his “bionic” penis operative and, (Gawd ya gotta love these doctors) they gave him an eight-inch one.

My thinking is that somewhere out there right now as he’s reading this is, some guy is thinking to himself….”Hmmmmm, an eight inch penis. Wonder if I can get one?”

mmmm

Now you’re also probably wondering how they made that penis. Ok, for inquiring minds. According to the article, “The penis itself was actually made from the skin and fat from the forearm rolled up into a roll with a tube in the middle like a sausage roll.”

(I will NEVER look at another sausage again without thinking of a penis)

BUT WAIT! There’s more!

“A button concealed inside the scrotum, (your balls, for those of you who have no clue as to what a scrotum is) can bring the penis to life, (IT’S ALIVEEEEE I TELL YOU, ALIVEEEEE!) by pumping liquid from a reservoir concealed inside Abad’s abdomen. And, when the fun is over, another button deflates the erection.”

its alive

(the makers of Viagra and Cialias should look into that deflate button deal to help out those poor souls who get a four-hour erection)

Soooooo, what’s the very first thing you’d wanna do with your new bionic penis?

My guess, and this is a long shot, um, perhaps try it out?

And, considering women were not beating feet to this guys door to volunteer, step forward, Charlotte Rose, again, Britain’s “Sex Worker of the Year.”

Anything for the Crown….right Charlotte.

Charlotte

Charlotte. Ohhhhh what a wicked web we weave.

Charlotte told The Daily Beast that she makes about $500 and hour, (count me out folks) and estimates that she’s slept with about 1,000 men but this will be the first time she’s ever slept with a bionic penis.

The rest of the article is about Charlotte’s life experiences, etc, etc, etc, but I wanted to center on the bionic penis aspect of this story. So here are some excerpts from that article which I thought might be of interest.

For instance, I would assume that Charlotte would not be bothered by this guys new bionic penis because she has provided her specialized services to a lot of gentlemen with disabilities in the past.

Can I get an AMEN here?amen4

Thanks.

Now, considering Abad is a virgin, and has a new penis, kind of a double shot of inexperience there, Charlotte, (Gawd bless her) will be sharing some of the sexual training techniques that she offers to inexperienced clients such as Abad.

“He’s asked for me to give him some skills as well when I’m with him. I’d be more than delighted to do that,” she said.

Is this woman a saint or what!

OK…OK……maybe saint is pushing it a bit, but at least “angel” status.

Works for me.....

Works for me…..

For the record, Charlotte said her favorite clients are, (get ready for this one) farmers. YES! Farmers for cripes sake. Why? Because, “They will bring a bottle of wine and you can have a giggle with a farmer.”

Yep…all those off-color sheep and cow udder jokes I would guess.

Damn pervs........

Damn pervs……..

And yet another touching quote from Charlotte:

“There are a lot of clients that are married. The majority of married clients are happily married but there is no sex. They cannot be open and honest about their fetish. There are guys who want to be dressed up as a maid and then spanked and then,” (I censored this part for the sake of little children and small animals)  I’m not going to judge them for what fantasies they want.”

Bravo Charlotte. Leave that judging to their wives. Such a great job they do in judging.

Anyhow, that’s the full scoop on Charlotte.

As for the bionic penis and Abad, he recently said in an interview, “I never thought this day would come, (or that YOU would Abad….pun) but now I’m ready to have some fun and sow my wild oats. I want to get the “virgin” tag off my back as soon as possible.”

Hey, good for you Abad. Best of luck. Happy trails.

mmmm

Um, think I’ll pass on that one…….unless eating Quaker Oats counts

Some advice for ya however. Considering this will be your first time using your new eight inch bionic penis, cover all your bases so that this special moment will be perfect.

Music: The Beatles, “A “HARD” Days Night.”

DVD for the pre-sex moment: “Charlottes Web.” (in honor of hooker Charlotte)

Special effects: The British Flag. (after all, Charlotte IS the British “Sex Worker of the Year.”)

A 8 X 10 photo of Queen Elizabeth. Might inspire Charlotte to give you seconds.

And most important of all, a can of 3 in One Oil, a needle nose pliers, and some duct tape.

Remember, be prepared for the unexpected……..after all, you DO have a bionic penis ya know.

By the way…….the following expresses my thinking when it comes to ever thinking about any kind of transplant…………..trans3

Just sayin.’

DONATE & SUPPORT: The bionic MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link:

PayPal.me/misfitwisdom  –  (copy & paste this link to make a donation…….or not)

Copyright 2016 MisfitWisdom RLV

DILLIGARA Header: chickart@cox.net

 

 

 

 

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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