Foist…oops….sorry…..I wuz watchin’ a Mafia movie. Um, but first, an update on my “Lamebrain” donation blog I wrote a few days ago (1/2)…….and I have been in limbo since then…..jussssst to see if any of the 1,000 plus people who read that blog would actually donate one single dollar, 100 cents, one picture of George Washington.
Did anybody? Yep. One person who I am extremely grateful to for doing so. Mark Hardman (OboeJoe) from Texas. Thanks again Mark.
And, for the record (not a 45 rpm one) I am paying part of that donation forward to another deserving blogger.
Ok….enough of that. On to stew.
Now look. I’m no culinary expert. I mean, I know how to cook. Which is why I’m still alive today.
BUT……I’m not the greatest graceful person when it comes to preparing a meal. Like adding ingredients and stuff. I mean, I KNOW what goes into making stuff like my spices in spaghetti sauce etc, and I do it from years of experimenting in my lab. (also known as a kitchen)
The problem is with the preparation. As I said, I’m not very graceful. Yep, I’ll spill stuff, make a mess, and on occasion, encounter a situation which, if it was filmed, would be an instant sensation on YouTube. Which is one reason I hide the video camera from my other half.
For instance, (before I get into the “stew caper) I’ve fallen off a ladder cleaning windows while my other half broke out in uncontrollable fits of laughter. I also fell off a ladder in the back yard while carrying a bucket of black roof sealer and limped into the house in serious pain, again, while my other half laughed, once again, uncontrollably.
Soooo, hence and forsooth, why I hide the video camera.
Now you wouldn’t think stew, or cooking stew, could once again be a source of entertainment for my other half. Who knew. Certainly not I. After all, no ladder was involved.
BUT…….there WAS a height issue. Me being a mere 5 feet 4 inches tall. (which is why I own cats and not Great Danes)
The problem stemmed from attempting to reach some spices just above the stove top which is where the stew, (no cover on pan of stew) was cooking. Yes, being short I had to stretch.
At that exact moment the next series of tragic events occurred.
I reached for a spice……………..accidently rubbed against a jar of “Grandma’s” molasses….which in turn fell off of the shelf into, (you guessed it) the hot stew…..which in turn caused a “splatter” effect which covered my hat, face, and sweatshirt in stew…..which in turn, as I stood there covered in that mess, made my other half once again go into a fit of uncontrollable hysterical laughter.
So I figure, this woman lives for these moments when I either injure myself by falling off a ladder, hitting myself with a hammer, cover myself with hot stew baking on the stove using a dangerous jar of molasses, or entertain her in the middle of the night by either snoring or talking in my sleep, which she always can remember word for word.
Anyhow, my New Year’s resolution is to 1. Never climb any ladder when she’s home. Actually, (correction) never climb any ladder EVER again. 2. Have HER get anything in a cupboard above my normal height. and 3. Never ever wear that stew stained sweatshirt in public.
TAKE THAT DEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh….for the record……it was washed a few times and there is nothing on the face of this Earth that will get those stains out NOTHING!!!! Take THAT freakin’ Oxy Clean!
It’s not easy being a household comedian ya know.
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