I Have Determined That I Have “Poorfluenza.”

Ohhhhh the depravation of it all...(sniff)

Ohhhhh the deprivation of it all…(sniff)

I gotta chime in on that kid that is on the lam in Mexico after fleeing the USA because he was gonna be charged for violating the rules of his probation after being responsible for the deaths of four people in a car crash in June of 2013.

He basically got off getting a serious sentence because the judge hearing the case bought into the kid’s lawyers claim that he had a serious case of “affluenza.”


In case you have no clue as to what that means, (affluenza) it means that the kid, Ethan Couch, was spoiled rotten by his parents because they have soooooo much money so he did whatever he pleased and never worried about the ultimate consequences.


Consequences, what’s that?

‘OK, four people died cause I wuz drivin’ drunk, big deal, mommy and daddy will get me off the hook.”

Money does talk folks. Wonder what that judge was thinking when the kids lawyers presented him with that “affluenza” defense.


Um, I have a lottery ticket….does that count?

“Um Frosnick, (court clerk) um could ya slip into my chambers for a sec and look up in my Funk and Wagnells dictionary and see if ya can find WTF affluenza means.”

“Oh sure yer honor…..be right back.”

(5 minute pause)


I need it……can’t find that f**king affluenza word damn it!

“Um, yer honor, I looked up that word and can’t find it anywhere in the dictionary. Beats me where that lawyer came up with that one.”

“Er….ok, thanks.” (judge thinking to himself. Boy I sure don’t wanna look like a complete idiot and let them know I have no freakin’ clue what affluenza means.)

“Ahem…..attorneys, members of the court, it seems Mr. Couch’s attorneys have raised a valid point considering they have made up, um…er….I mean defined affluenza as being a condition as a reason for giving this poor child probation. I myself can understand that condition having suffered from having sooooo much money and rich parents that if it were not for my measly allowance of $500 a month as a child growing up, I might have not realized that others, such as this innocent child, may also suffer from that condition. I hereby rule that because of his condition of affluenza, he should only receive probation. Dismissed.”

“Um, Ms. Freebush, would you call the copyright office and file a claim for the word affluenza on my behalf. Boy am I gonna be famous.”

'Don't be silly. You're too young for a credit card. How would madison like an ATM for her birthday instead?'

So, as we all know, the kid beats feet with his caring mother and goes on the lam in Mexico after violating the rules of his probation by attending a party with booze and all kinds of frivolity. (his mother has since been arrested and returned to Texas but he remains in Mexico fighting extradition……which “affluenza” allows you to do.

Soooo, I have determined that “I” thereby have a severe case of “poorfluenza.” My parents gave me squat, when it came to money because we were poor. But, I did have a great life growing up and knew right from wrong. Although at times I still have to think when it comes to telling the difference from my left foot and right foot when it comes to dancing.

Like that old line goes, “I’m soooo poor I can’t even afford to pay attention.”

If only..........

If only……….

So I figure it this way. Anyone who pulls a bank job, a jewelry heist, or any other crime involving stealing something of value, and are poor, which might be a reason in the first place for stealing things, my guess anyhow, then if you are caught, have your lawyer make a “poorfluenza” defense on your behalf.


Hey, if it worked in reverse for that kid, WTF…..might as well give it a shot. Can’t hurt. Ya might get a judge who made it up the ranks by working three jobs and suffered from poorfluenza as well.

Just sayin.’

DONATE & SUPPORT: Yes folks, here it is a New Year (2016) and once again I’m shoving my donate link down your affluenza throats. Not that it worked in 2015, but, what the hell, I’m persistent. Here’s the link jusssssst in case YOU ARE suffering from affluenza and wanna dump some of that cash to a good cause….ME:


Copyright 2016 MisfitWisdom RLV

DILLIGARA Header: chickart@cox.net


About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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2 Responses to I Have Determined That I Have “Poorfluenza.”

  1. Ritu says:

    Lol! The things money can do eh! Happy New Year! 😊 may 2016 be more affluent for you 😉

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