You Want How Much For That Mattress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

matsoft

One of the unsolved mysteries of life, as far as I’m concerned, is why buying a mattress costs a fortune.

I thought about this today when I came across a full-page ad in , (what I laughingly refer to as) my newspaper. Eight pages, half of them ads. Which is why I spotted a full page ad for mattresses.

Yep,  you can get a deal on a new “memory foam” mattress for just a mere $1, 765. mat4Like “I” want a mattress that’s gonna remember all THAT stuff.

Besides, what’s with that price anyhow? $1,765!!!!

WTF does this mattress do, besides remembering things I don’t want it to remember?

Oh wait. They’re new and improved and advanced mattresses. Yep, square, come in various sizes, made of cloth and foam, and um, oh yeah, remember things.mat8Look, if I’m gonna spend over a thousand dollars on a freakin’ mattress it better do more than just let me sleep on it if ya catch my drift here. No way I’m gonna spend that kinda money on a damn mattress.

Um, unless a hooker comes with it in the deal.

Besides, I don’t need no stinkin’ mattress to remember ANYTHING!!!!!mat2As I see it, a mattress is a damn mattress. I climb into bed, I cover myself up, I lie flat, and I go to sleep. Why TF do I need a thousand dollar mattress. The cats and I take a nap on my sofa every afternoon. Do ya think I paid over a thousand dollars for that sofa? NO!

If I can sleep on my present mattress, which I do every night with noooooo problem, there ain’t no way I’m forking over a thousand bucks to some mattress store.

Besides, I’ve managed to escape being punished to the full extent of the law after buying my last mattress AND (gasp) removing that irritating mattress tag. Think I wanna chance doing THAT again!mat6I KNOW what can happen ya know…I ain’t stoopid!mat5So yet another reason those mattress people can go take a hike for the prices that they want for a mattress. HAH!

Ok….I’ve said my peace.

Now, to end today’s mattress blog, to quote that famous mattress philosopher, Freddie Mercury, (Queen….not a mattress size)…………mat6a

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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