The “obvious” ones being um….er……(sorry, due to “political correctness I am not allowed to use the word “Christmas”)
WAIT!!!! I just did.
Ah….f**k it……the obvious days are Christmas and New Years. Screw you politically correct assholes…..oh…..and have a happy holiday.
Sooooo, now that we have THAT outta the way, let’s look at what other days we can safely celebrate without pissing anyone off…..maybe.
First of all the entire month of December is “Bingo Month” and “Write A Friend Month.” So, B4 you forget, write your friend a letter while you’re playing bingo.
The 5th is “Bathtub Party Day.” BUT…..if you choose to celebrate this day, say like on the 24th, um, always check before you enter the bathroom……December 8th is “Take It In The Ear Day.” (thinking to myself….should I really go there with this one)
Screw it…..too good to pass up a good cartoon…….. December 9th is “Christmas Card Day.” If you’re anything like me, you look for the most unusual demented cards you can find to send to friends and relatives.
Yep…..bought 3 boxes.
The 14th is “Roast Chestnuts Day.”
You knew I was going there with THAT one….soreeeeee.
December 16th is “National Chocolate Covered Anything Day.” Ok……again, I think you know (again) where I’m going with this one too…..
The 19th is “Look For An Evergreen Day.” Which I’m assuming means you should be out looking for a Christmas tree. Seems kinda late in the month to me. But, go for it.
But……getting a tree was always very traumatic for us kids when we were growing up…..
Oh yeah…..for you politically correct idiots……
And my heartfelt sympathy for cats this time of the year….The 20th is “Go Caroling Day.” No, this does not mean get out your date book and call anyone you previously dated named Carol. Sometimes ya have to make these things perfectly clear.
Of course the 25th is Christmas…..need I say more.
The 27th is “National Fruitcake Day.” You KNOW where I’m going with this one too………….
And to end this nonsense, our final celebration day, or night, “New Years Eve.”
Soooo, my choice for celebrating a day in December, (you knew it was gonna be this one you damn smart ass) “National Chocolate Covered Anything Day.”
HEY! If it involves sex and chocolate…..count me in pal. Can’t go wrong on that choice. Besides, what politically correct numbnut is gonna complain about that!
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