Days You Should Be Celebrating In December…..besides the (duh) obvious ones

dec1

The “obvious” ones being um….er……(sorry, due to “political correctness I am not allowed to use the word “Christmas”)

WAIT!!!! I just did.

Ah….f**k it……the obvious days are Christmas and New Years. Screw you politically correct assholes…..oh…..and have a happy holiday.

Sooooo, now that we have THAT outta the way, let’s look at what other days we can safely celebrate without pissing anyone off…..maybe.

First of all the entire month of December is “Bingo Month” and “Write A Friend Month.”  So, B4 you forget, write your friend a letter while you’re playing bingo.

The 4th of the month is………..santaslist1I suspect that when Santa checks that list and comes to me, this would be his reaction……..

Oops....guess I was waaaay too naughty this year....damn!

Oops….guess I was waaaay too naughty this year….damn!

The 5th is “Bathtub Party Day.” BUT…..if you choose to celebrate this day, say like on the 24th, um, always check before you enter the bathroom……tub2December 8th is “Take It In The Ear Day.” (thinking to myself….should I really go there with this one)

Screw it…..too good to pass up a good cartoon……..ear2 December 9th is “Christmas Card Day.” If you’re anything like me, you look for the most unusual demented cards you can find to send to friends and relatives.

Example…………..

card1

Yep…..bought 3 boxes.

“Poinsettia Day” is on December 12th. Why? Beats the hell outta me. Must be the florists super pac that lobbied for this one.points1

The 14th is “Roast Chestnuts Day.”

'I'm afraid it's another case of 'chestnuts roasting too near an open fire,' doctor.'

You knew I was going there with THAT one….soreeeeee.

Get outta here ya damn flea bag.....

Get outta here ya damn flea bag…..

December 16th is “National Chocolate Covered Anything Day.” Ok……again, I think you know (again) where I’m going with this one too…..

OK....OK....the dog is right....I'm NOT sorry....

OK….OK….the dog is right….I’m NOT sorry….

The 19th is “Look For An Evergreen Day.” Which I’m assuming means you should be out looking for a Christmas tree. Seems kinda late in the month to me. But, go for it.

But……getting a tree was always very traumatic for us kids when we were growing up…..

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

Oh yeah…..for you politically correct idiots……

Read my finger.....

Read my finger…..

And my heartfelt sympathy for cats this time of the year….tree4The 20th is “Go Caroling Day.” No, this does not mean get out your date book and call anyone you previously dated named Carol. Sometimes ya have to make these things perfectly clear.

Sniff......

Sniff……soooooo touching this time of the year

Hey….there IS a day for politically correct people this month……it’s on the 21st and called, “Humbug Day.”bah1

Of course the 25th is Christmas…..need I say more.

The 27th is “National Fruitcake Day.” You KNOW where I’m going with this one too………….

Guessed right didn't you.....

Guessed right didn’t you…..

And to end this nonsense, our final celebration day, or night, “New Years Eve.”

mmmmm

OR……..who are you and why am I in bed with you!!!!!!

Soooo, my choice for celebrating a day in December, (you knew it was gonna be this one you damn smart ass) “National Chocolate Covered Anything Day.”

HEY! If it involves sex and chocolate…..count me in pal. Can’t go wrong on that choice. Besides, what politically correct numbnut is gonna complain about that!

Just sayin.’

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PayPal.me/misfitwisdom

Copyright 2015 MisfitWisdom RLV

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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2 Responses to Days You Should Be Celebrating In December…..besides the (duh) obvious ones

  1. Frank Bauman says:

    How about something regarding the Transgender Saint that runs around the world breaking and entering on the “Eurocentric” holiday Christmas.

  2. misfit120 says:

    Geez Frank……sounds like something CSI should be investigating. Or….the former Bruce Jenner. Anyhow, Merry Whatever Christmas.

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