Ok, those of you who have little or no lives to speak of, which sometimes includes myself, here are some celebrations during the month of November that will distract you from your otherwise boring lives.
First, some important monthly celebrations which includes the ever popular “International Drum Month,” “National Novel Writing Month,” “Peanut Butter Lovers Month,” and “National Sleep Comfort (yawn) Month.”
Me thinkith if you’re planning to celebrate “National Sleep Comfort Month,” DO NOT go anywhere near anyone who is celebrating “International Drum Month.” Just sayin.’
This next one is my all time favorite. When you’re a writer, the ultimate thing you can write is your own epitaph. Problem is, ya never get to hear the reviews. Anyhow, the 2nd is “Plan Your Epitaph Day.”
November 3rd is “Housewife’s Day.” Are there really still housewife’s out there? REALLY!
If you’re a sandwich freak, or simply just like hanging out at Subway, November 3rd is also “Sandwich Day.” A good day to tell a lot of people they’re full of baloney.
Needless to say, but I will anyhow, November 3rd is ” U.S. General Election Day.” No…soreeeeee, NOT for the President of the Yew Nited States, but for lesser politicians like Mayors, city councilmen/women, etc, etc, etc.
I know…….I wish it were the Presidential elections only because……..
The 4th is “King Tut Day.”
And, should you live in West (by Gawd) Virginia, what better way to celebrate King Tut day than grabbing a burger at this place……………………..
November 5th is “Guy Fawkes Day.” Yes……….WHO you ask is Guy Fawkes? As did I. So, here’s the official Wikipedia explanation of who he is:
“Guy Fawkes (/ˈɡaɪ ˈfɔːks/; 13 April 1570 – 31 January 1606), also known as Guido Fawkes, the name he adopted while fighting for the Spanish, was a member of a group of provincial English Catholics who planned the failed Gunpowder Plot of 1605.”
The first Thursday of the month, this year on November 5th, is “Men Make Dinner Day.” Most likely followed on the 6th by, “National Have Your Stomach Pumped Day.”
November 6th is “Saxophone Day.” And, of course the first thing that comes to my mind……………….
I might add that my all time favorite saxophonist is NOT Bill Clinton, but none other than Candy Dulfer, who, by far, has GOT to be not only the most talented saxophonist on the face of the Earth, but….(eat your heart out Bill) the sexiest. Watch this video guys, and, um, watch Candy. (pant)
The 7th is “Book Lovers Day.” For those of you who own Kindles and have no idea what a book is, ask the first old person you come across.
And for good measure…………
November 9th is “Chaos Never Dies Day.” If you’ve ever been to any DMV office you know why chaos never dies THERE!
“USMC Day” is celebrated on the 10th of this month. Hoo Rah!!!!
One of the most important days this month is “Veteran’s Day” on November 11th. Tip your hat or offer a salute to any veteran you meet today. Every day for that matter.
The 13th is an annual event in Dogpatch, USA. Thanks to Al Capp. Yep, it’s “Sadie Hawkins Day.” The day when all eligible bachelors are up for grabs. RUN MEN RUN!!!!!!!
Of course Sadie Hawkins Day was named for, DUH, Sadie Hawkins whose father, knowing quite well that Sadie was not the most alluring of women in Dogpatch, and, most likely he’d be stuck with her forever, started Sadie Hawkins Day so that she could catch some poor slug, marry him, and he’d finally get her off his back.
November 15th is “National Philanthropy Day.” If you are a philanthropist and wish to celebrate this day by showing just how philanthropisting (my word) you are, um, why not send some of that philoantropisting money to um…..me. (see donation link at the end of this blog)
Yes…I have absolutely no shame.
“Have A Party With Your Bear Day” is on November 16th. I SAID “BEAR” not “BARE” you idiot, so put your damn clothes back on!!!!!!!
For my occult followers, (Hocus Pocus) November 18th is “Occult Day.” Beware of anyone (especially your ex) carrying dolls with things sticking out of them that seem to vaguely resemble YOU!
With Thanksgiving approaching you knew that somewhere in this month someone, probably cranberry makers, would push to have their own day. Yep, “Eat A Cranberry Day” is celebrated on the 23rd.
“National Cashew Day” is on the 23rd. Nuts!
So there ya have it, days you should, or not, be celebrating in November.
Which one will I be celebrating? Thought you’d never ask.
I’m going with “Plan Your Epitaph Day.” Not that I’m in any rush mind you, but I really am looking forward to using this one for MY epitaph……………..
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