I really should make this a continuing series…..”Why women drive men nuts.”
Only because there’s always something a woman does to drive us men nuts. It’s just that I can’t think of all the ways until “my woman” (cave man lingo) drives ME nuts.
This would be one of those occasions.
Soooo, like a cat working its way under my electric blanket during the winter months every night, I too, as Bill Clinton would say, “Ah feel your pain.”
Cats, like me, do not like the cold. Even though they have fur, which is supposed to keep them warm, but, if ya ask any of my cats, they’d disagree. Which, because they obviously can’t talk other than saying “meow,” I have determined that my conclusion is a fact.
So, all that said, which I just did, if you were paying attention, here’s where the women driving men nuts comes into play.
When I start getting cold and the cats start positioning themselves on my lap to suck out my body heat, or I find them constantly worming their way under the blankets after the bed is made, that, to me, is a sure sign Winter is here.
So I ask my other half to drag out the electric blanket, which this year was sometime around mid September, she gave me all kinds of flack.
“WHAT! It’s waaaaay too early to put the electric blanket on the bed. Dress warm for Gawd’s sake!!!!”
“Dress warm? What, ya want me to wear my fleece jacket to bed for cripes sake!!!”
“Oh don’t be such a damn wuss. Ya don’t see ME complaining about it being cold do you.”
While it’s true I DO let out a lot of body heat, unfortunately it is sucked outta me by my other half snuggling up against me along with the cats, which then leaves ME freezing. So much for having enough body heat for both of us…..and the cats.
Now my point here men is that why the hell do women argue the point when it comes to asking a simple request like putting the electric blanket on the bed?
It’s not like you have to get out several hydraulic jacks, lift up the bed, attach four big nuts and bolts to the frame, and then hire an electrician to plug in the blanket!
Ya strip the bed, put on the blanket, and plug it in. How freakin’ simple is THAT!!!
But noooooo. They have to give us men flack about putting it on way too early. Like it’s breaking federal law by wearing white after Labor Day. Which every woman still adheres to.
“You’re wearing white jeans in September!!! OMFG…..I DO NOT want to be seen with you.!!!!”
Now also keep in mind we have dual controls on our electric blanket. So if I wanna be in the lying on a Mexican beach mode while she wants to be in the cold Vermont mode……well both of us get our choice.
NOTE: This does not work out because even though we have a queen size bed she’s always on MY side. Which led me to suggest to George Forman on his invention site, that mattress companies should invent a mattress with a 2 foot divider in the middle to prevent women from hogging the bed as well as complaining about too hot electric blankets.
So far I have received no response from George.
So in conclusion, she finally put the electric blanket on our bed around October 1st when the first cold of the Fall hit.
BUT…….as happy as a lark that I was, I still get flack on these Fall days when the temperature fluctuates between Arctic cold and Spring weather.
One night I get, “See, it’s too damn warm to have your electric blanket on!!!”
“Oh, thank Gawd we have the electric blank on honeeeee.”
Ya see, further proof the only reason women exist is to drive us men nuts.
AND…..consider this men.
This blog was about a damn electric blanket….not sex!
NO…….I’m not EVEN gonna touch that one.
I’m not stoooopid ya know.
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