Days You Should Be Celebrating In October.

october1

Yes, once again it’s time to look at yet another month, October, and see the many days we have to choose from to make our otherwise boring and dull lives more boring and dull. Unless it doesn’t take much to excite you, and if that’s the case, boy are you gonna have a lot of days to celebrate this month.

But first, the entire month of October is “Adopt A Shelter Pet Month.”adopt animal

“Cookie Month.”cookies1

“National Pizza Month.”pizza

 

“Sarcastic Month.”sarcasim1

And one of the most important of the month, “Breast Cancer Awareness Month.”breast1

The 2nd of October is “Name Your Car Day.” If you’ve been on a tight budget for most of your life and could never afford a new car and you had to rely on buying used cars you most likely named most of your vehicles after a favorite fruit……evil lemon

And for those of you who have a special attachment to your vehicles, there are these……

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I guess, being Italian, I’d be driving that car Guido

October 3rd is “Virus Appreciation Day.” Only because a lot of us really don’t give any virus the respect they deserve. Or, this day was thought up by the makers of Thera-flu.

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Better safe than sorry

“World Teacher’s Day” is celebrated on October 5th.  Stock up on apples kids.

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The 9th is “Leif Erickson Day.” The day we celebrate Leif for bringing to our attention that it’s time we should all begin the task of raking leaves.

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“It’s My Party Day” on the 11th can be celebrated by either throwing a big party, inviting a lot of people over to your place to help you celebrate, or, if you’re a loner, hate parties, and rather just celebrate it alone, you could always just download Lesley Gore’s song, “It’s My Party” and dance with your giant inflatable doll.

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Gotta be careful at these wild parties

The 11th is “Take Your Teddy Bear To Work Day.” Now, if you’re also like the person above who is a loner, this can work for you as well by simply substituting a giant inflatable doll with a teddy bear and playing Elvis’s song “Let me be Your Teddy Bear.”

In both instances people will think you’re a nut job, but, WTF, if you’re already a loner, who gives a rats ass.

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“Columbus Day,” celebrated on the second Monday of the month, because Columbus first discovered Columbus, Ohio on the second Monday of the month, then went on to discover the rest of America once he had enough credit to buy more ships and was able to discover more things on other days of the month besides Monday’s.

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“Old Farmer’s Day” is celebrated on October 12th. E I E I O……………….

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The 14th is “Be Bald and Free Day.” I’m taking a wild guess and assuming that this is celebrated by men only. However, if you happen to be a woman and are bald, hell, join in on the celebration.

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The 16th is “Dictionary Day.” If you rely on spell check on your computer and have no idea what a dictionary is, skip this next cartoon.

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With two motherfucking Splenda’s too….please

“Here’s a special day for those of you that it doesn’t take much to hold your attention. Yep, you can spend the entire 21st of the month celebrating “Count Your Buttons Day.” No…..belly buttons do not count.

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Each one says “Eat Me.”

“National Nut Day” allows you to go nuts by celebrating it on the 22nd. Sooooo many nuts, sooooo little time. (your choice of which nuts you want to celebrate)

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Wanna cherry?

On the 23rd is “National Mole Day.” I wasn’t sure if they were talking about mole moles, like those small creatures that burrow under your lawn, or moles that people have on their bodies. But……I figured who the hell would celebrate moles on bodies, so I went with the furry ones.

Then again, they DO celebrate Count Your Buttons ay. Go figure.

Mafia moles

Mafia moles

October 24th is “National Bologna Day.” OK…OK……what’s with all this baloney. It’s either spelled “bologna” or “baloney.” Either way, who ever thought of spelling it two different ways is fill of baloney….or bologna.

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In person Kemo Sabe

Every married guy’s favorite day in the month of October is, “Mother-In-Law Day” on the 25th. Last year I gave my mother-in-law a nice chair. This year I’m going to electrify it.

Crimp the hose Ralph!!! Crimp the hose!!!!

Crimp the hose Ralph!!! Crimp the hose!!!!

One day that I always take time to celebrate is on the 29th, which is “National Frankenstein Day,” also followed by “Frankenstein Friday” on the 30th. It took God almost a week to create the Earth and Doc Frankenstein just two nights to make Frankenstein. Then with that success, he attempted to make

 

a Frankenwoman.

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OK…OK….so he fucked up on the face. But, like Ben Franklin used to say, “All cats are gray in the dark.”

As we all know, October 31st is “Halloween.” (you can skip the “hollow-weenie” jokes ya damn pervs)

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Wanna bet someone is gonna try this on Halloween

And finally, also on the 31st, “Increase Your Psychic Powers Day.”

Happens when I dial 911 all the time

Happens when I dial 911 all the time

Hmmmm. Let me see if I can be psychic.

YES!!!!!

I predict this blog will end NOW!!!!

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Copyright 2015 MisfitWisdom RLV

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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