All men know this following scenario.
Your vehicle breaks down and you say to yourself, “Self, I KNOW this is gonna cost me a fortune to fix.”
So, this is the part where you also say to yourself, “Hey, how hard can it be to fix it myself?”
This should have been a sign not to attempt to fix my vehicle…but….did I listen? Nooooo.
Now, not having a fortune to pay for a repair on my truck, I foolishly listened to my brain, which apparently is directly connected to my ass, and went ahead and attempted to fix my truck by myself.
After all, all ya have to do is pull up “How to repair anything,” on YouTube, and SHAZAM! you’re an instant mechanic.
And how freakin’ hard can it be to 1. Drop my gas tank, replace a fuel sending unit, and strap that mother back up. 2. Replace a inner and outer tie-rod that’s been on my truck since Noah got off the Ark. 3. Replace a headlight bulb.
Yep, those were my pressing mechanical issue this week. Did I mention my gas tank was falling off as well? No……well, that too.
Soooooo. I check with my mechanic Joe, and he sez, he’s going racing for a few days so he won’t be able to get to my truck till maybe next week. Maybe.
Joe! Joe! Are ya here? um….oh….oops….soreeeee.
Again, if you’re a guy, you really don’t wanna wait one week or longer to get your vehicle back.
Next option. Do it yourself. Geez….how hard can it be. Again…YouTube. Noooooooo problem. I mean, think of the bucks I’ll save.
Been there….paid that
Sooooo. I thought I’d start with something simple. Changing the headlight bulb.
20 minutes later and two band aids, I gave up. Why? Ya can’t pull out the bulb because the battery shelf holding the battery (duh) abuts the portal for the bulb to come out and you have to be verrrry precise to get the bulb out or you’re screwed.
One of the things on the bulb package state, ” DO NOT TOUCH TIP OF BULB!!!!” So, I figured with such a tight space, f**k it, I’ll let my mechanic do it at some point. Minor problem. After all, who the hell knows what happens if you touch the tip of that bulb. Might catch some dreaded light bulb disease or infection, or worse, lightbulbfatalignitus.
One of the reasons I try to do things myself…..mechanics always talk gobbledygook to me
So, I went to the next problem, replacing the fuel sending unit. Which tells ya how much gas you have in your vehicle. Usually, 1/4 a tank is normal for me.
I watched the video, and, it looked soooooooo easy. Cept for the part where ya had to drop the entire gas tank and THEN replace the fuel sending unit, WHICH is on top of the fuel tank. Which is why ya have to drop it. Which I think where all mechanics advised auto manufacturers to place that unit. Knowing full well nobody with a brain is gonna attempt to drop a gas tank by themselves.
So, passing on that one, I at least figured I’d strap up my falling gas tank lest I hit a rock and be blown to oblivion. Or a really bulked up squirrel.
So I tried that and could get the &#$@!%#@ nuts loose on the remaining strap that was rusted. Sooooo, I, so to speak, Mickey Moused the new strap I bought and left the final unMoused repair once again for my mechanic.
Lest I also get zapped by the battery like the last time
Now, the best part. My outer tie rod, (has nothing to do with sexual bondage ya damn pervs) let go 20 miles from home. Yep…had to be towed.
Sooooo, it;s in my driveway with the front wheels looking like they’re crossed eyed and I figure if my mechanic is gonna be away, do I really wanna be without a vehicle for a whole week. Nope.
Again…YouTube video.
Heyyyyy. A piece of cake job.
Three days later I’m still tryin’ to get a #!^@*&# nut off. ONE NUT!!!!
Shoulda taken the hint when that damn bird pooped on me.
Anyhow to make this boring blog short, I never got that nut off until my neighbor came over with an electric impact wrench and zapped it off in two seconds. And then used the mother of all hammers to pound out the screws and I stood there in awe.
The moral to all this.
Those freaknut videos on YouTube never show you the swearing part those guys fixing vehicles do when trying to remove a part that’s been on a vehicle since the dawn of time….AND…..
Always listen to the bird.
F**K off ya little bastard!
Just sayin.’
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Putting in headlights can be tricky. I managed to change out my radiator all by myself a coouple years back, but when a friend needed a headlight switched out, I couldn’t manage it. You had to line up three different pieces in three different holes in order to click everything back into place, and when I did it, the headlight was still loose.
But still, I managed the radiator all by myself, so I have a couple years of street cred left.
I did manage to fix the tire rod myself Katy. The key….the right tools. Like dynamite. Or an impact wrench. Both work. But the impact wrench is less messier than the dynamite.