It’s finally happened. My brain is overloaded.
Its come to my attention that too much is coming to my attention. Most of it useless information. Most of it because I’m spending way too much time on the Internet and a considerable amount of time watching TV news.
Um….let me correct that last one.
Too much time watching what is disguised as TV news but really are reality shows disguised as TV news.
For instance, I watched my local news last night at 11PM and the first few stories were, “FIRE! LOOTING! RAPE! PILLAGING! FLOODS! EXPLOSIONS! FAMINE! LOCUSTS! and then some soothing stories about things nobody gives a flying f**k about just to fill up their half hour with fillers and sneak in 15 more minutes of commercials.
So, I said to myself, “Self, WTF are ya watchin’ this crap for?”
To which my brain replied, “Cause ya can’t get porno channels on your TV you idiot.”
Which made absolute sense to me considering porno channels have no political stuff on them, cept for that one time I spotted a Romney tattoo on some chicks butt that said “Porno stars are people too.” But, I let that slide because of the boob factor.
So, I decided last night that I would not watch ANY TV news programs until November 3rd 2016 when all this political ad crap is over and done with. Nada, nothing, zip, zilch.
UNLESS……unless aliens from another planet are attacking us or Sophia Vergara decides to enter the race for the presidential nomination. In which case I’d have to watch just to see if the aliens are friendly or if Sophia’s political platform includes proposing that all future political ads during a campaign season be limited to one day before the election beginning at 6am and ending at 12 midnight.
And all TV ads during the break contain cleavage, Viagra ads, or that girl with the white horse lying on the beach.
Cripes, I’d vote for any candidate that proposed that. Cept maybe Ted Cruz.
Speaking of Ted Cruz, is it me or does his voice resemble scratching your fingernails over a blackboard.
There was a time I really enjoyed watching the political process. Of course that was before the political process became a circus. Now I can’t even go to an actual circus with having images of candidates dressed as clowns performing for me.
Now think about this for a minute. It’s August 2105. Do ya kn0w what that means?
It means we still have 15 months of political ads, debates, campaigns, sleaze, he said, she said, and vote for me stuff to be shoved down our throats yet. OMFG!!!!!!!
15 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!
The way I look at it, through bloodshot eyeballs, is why should I give a rats ass what the hell is going on NOW with these debates on both sides of the political aisle. REALLY!
Think about it. What……… 17 Republican candidates and counting and possibly 4 or five on the Democratic side. So?
So should I watch the polls and see who’s ahead? Nope! The ONLY poll that counts is the one on November 8th, 2016. Makes sense to me.
When it comes down to my choice of two candidates on either side, THAT’S when I’ll be paying attention. But right now…..no f**king way Jose. Again, no disrespect to anyone name Jose.
So that’s it. I’m done watching anything that has to do with politics unless it’s something I can’t resist writing about. Like say Donald Trump admits he sucks lemons every day and that’s why his lips are that way.
Or Hillary Clinton gets caught in some closet with Fabio.
Or Rick perry has a brain transplant and finally can remember the three branches of government.
Or Mike Huckabee gets a brain transplant because it was discovered he actually didn’t have a brain to begin with.
Or the Koch brothers spell their name like I think it should be spelled….cock.
Or Ben Carson says, “Wait, WTF am I doin’ on stage with all these white guys?”
Or Bernie Sanders finally figures out he’d make more money collecting Social Security than being president because as president the pressures of office would kill him so he’d live longer just retiring.
Or Fox News hires Wolf Blitzer, Larry Bird, Michael J. Fox, Tiger Woods, Meagan Fox, and Cat Stevens and we have an animal free for all.
Or Major Garrett of CBS News finally gets a promotion to General Garrett. Long overdue if ya ask me.
Or Forrest Gump decides to enter the race for president.
After all, he was quite smart when he said, “Life is like a room full of politicians, ya never know what you’re gonna get. Or was that a box of chocolates?
Anyhow, no more watching TV news for me. Nope.
From now on it’s the Cartoon Channel.
No….scratch that one. The Cartoon Channel already resembles CNN, FOX, CBS, NBC, ABC, and a few others.
Think I’m pretty safe there. Ya think?
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