Breakkkkkkkkkkkking news. President Warren Harding, a Republican (gasp) fathered a love child while (gasp) president of the Yew Nited States.
IMPEACH!!!! IMPEACH!!!! TAR AND FEATHER THE SOB!!!! MAKE HIM RESIGN!!!! CONGRESSIONAL INVESTIGATION!!!! EVEN WORSE, MAKE HIM A FOX NEWS COMMENTATOR.
Oh wait……..he’s dead.
Um……well if he WAS alive we all know Fox News would pooh pooh this story and continue on with other stuff. BUT…….I STILL get to use The Supremes “Love Child” song. Which is the only reason I jumped on this story.
Love the Supremes and I could never find a reason to use that song.
Thank Gawd for DNA testing. Now after 100 years all those rumors have been confirmed. Warren Harding got a BJ in the White House.
Um…WAIT! Soreeeee. That was someone else who got caught, impeached, reelected and pissed off Republicans. Possibly because they couldn’t get BJ’s.
HEY! Did ya ever take a look at how old some of those Congressmen are! It’s a wonder ANY of them can get it up, never mind getting a BJ.
It was Harding however, a (gasp) Republican, who we all know would never do any of that stuff because um, er, because, um…oh yeah, only Democrats do that stuff.
So, this must be a made up story. (checking the facts, which, as I always say, clouds up the issues)
Let’s see………quoting from an article:
“Britton first came forward publically with the claim that her daughter, Elizabeth Ann, was Harding’s daughter in a 1927 autobiography “The President’s Daughter.” In her account, Britton detailed a steamy six-year-long affair with the 29th president, including one encounter in a White House closet, before his untimely death in 1923.”
“At the time of its publishing, the book was met with public ridicule and widely discounted as the stuff of pornographic fiction. Britton was labeled a “sex pervert” and “degenerate,” and a book was even written to counter her claims about Harding, who was married to Florence Mabel Harding.”
YES! She was a damn sex pervert and a degenerate.
Hmmmm. Why do I have a feeling Fox News may have been around back then?
Soooooo. After all these years, along comes that pesky DNA testing and SHAZAM! Nan Britton was right. Not that it matters because she too is no longer with us.
BUT…….for the sake Bill Clinton’s impeachment BJ and how Republicans were totally disgusted that any man would get a BJ, let alone in the White House, and then lie about it, OMFG!!! because, as we men all know, if any of our spouses, girlfriends or whatever type of relationship you have, asked YOU if you got a BJ from another woman, of course none of us would EVER lie about it. RIGHT!
Well, at least a Republican would NEVER lie about getting a BJ from another woman. (heh heh)
“But recent DNA testing by Ancestry has proven that James Blaesing, the son of Harding’s biological daughter, Elizabeth Ann, is the second cousin of the president’s grandnephew Peter Harding and his grandniece Abigail Harding.”
Ya know. If you ask me if I personally gave a big rats ass if Clinton got a BJ in the White House ya know what I’d say. F**k no. Damn….if “I” could get a BJ in the White House I’d get one. Even outta the White House. Anywhere for that matter.
Hey Fox! Take a freakin poll why don’t ya. Ask American men how many would turn down a BJ. In or out of the White House.
OH WAIT! I suspect it would be: Republicans 99.9%. Democrats 1%
(I base that guess on the number of Republicans who voted to impeach Clinton)
Another quote from the story:
“All his life, Harding said, his family had maintained that Britton was a “delusional woman who believed in a fantasy.” The family believed that President Harding, who had mumps as a child, was sterilized by the illness and could not have children.”
The article went on to say that Nan Britton had no documented proof of any love letters Harding had written to her having destroyed those letters he wrote at her request.
(NOTE TO ANY WOMAN GIVING A BJ TO A POLITICIAN) Save all your letters or, if by chance you have one, a stained dress and give it to a friend (heh heh) you can trust.
Sooooooooo, after all this name calling and slut charges, (my choice of words to spice things up) the Harding family has decided that NOW that DNA testing is conclusive, HEY! Let’s have a family reunion with our newly discovered family members. Bygones be bygones. We really didn’t mean it when we called ya a sex pervert and a degenerate.
I love this next quote: “the discovery will begin to clear the air around Harding’s scandalized reputation in history.”
WHAT! That he fathered a love child? Who cares. He was human for cripes sakes! He’s dead! Lay it to rest. Go after something else to take up your time that’s scandalous. Say like Hillary’s classified e-mails. Good luck with that and Benghazi.
Onward with yet our final quote from the article:
“He’s (Harding) seen as scandal-ridden and someone without any substance. And this story will hopefully ‘put to bed’ all this stuff and the focus on who he was a president.”
Something Bill Clinton haters have never been able to do. Cept for H.W and Dubya.
Then again, they’re both out of office and the name of the game is love thy enemy once you’re retired and don’t give a rats ass.
And, in conclusion, just to show you that some things never change………………..
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