I Think I’m a Figment Of My Own Imagination

fig1

Yep….it’s true…I’ve decided I really don’t exist. All this time I’ve been a figment of my own imagination.

How did I come to determine this?

I’ll tell ya.

Now first of all, anyone who reads this stuff knows that I tend to go ballistic over things that a normal person wouldn’t go ballistic over. Only because I consider myself a logical person, and, when something doesn’t seem logical to me, I question it, and, for the most part, get stupid or no logical responses.

Hmmmm. Can't be any worse than pissing off the people I've already pissed off

Hmmmm. Can’t be any worse than pissing off the people I’ve already pissed off

Like my other half who always responds to my questions about why she says or thinks things with this response. “Because.”

So I’ve resigned myself to the fact that any logical question I ask her, and expect a logical answer to, will be answered with, “because.”fig3

But, that said, which I just did, that’s NOT one of the ballistic things that drives me nutso. It’s when I make a comment by writing a letter to the editor of my local paper, (“The New London Day”) and they don’t publish it. Or when I send a letter to the “Mohegan Sun Casino” and they don’t respond. Or when I send a e-mail and a letter to my town selectman, and he doesn’t respond.fig5

So, I figured, after all that, I must be a figment of my own imagination. After all, if I weren’t, surely all three of those letters and e-mails I sent would have received some response.

Like, “Dear Mr. Misfit. We received your letter, but we consider it bullshit, so f**k off and quit sending us stupid letters.”

Or, “Dear Mr. Misfit. We here at “The New London Day” value your opinion and greatly appreciate you taking the time to send us a letter to the editor. However, your letter made a great point, but, it doesn’t agree with our own opinions, so, we decided to file your letter in our circular file under, “bullshit.” Sorry, but we have the final say here even though we ask you to send letters in to the editor.”

I KNEW IT!!!!!!

I KNEW IT!!!!!!

And, “Dear Mr. Misfit. The “Mohegan Sun Casino” values your opinions regarding our promotions and perks for casino patrons. However, considering you only play penny machines and suck up our free coffee and snacks we could give a rats ass about what TF you think. There ARE other casinos around you know. Why don’t you go there instead of being a pain in the ass and sending us these stupid letters.”

***********UPDATE************6/30/15

Today I received a call from the President, (Not Obama) of Mohegan Sun Casino in response to the letter I sent a week ago. We discussed my concerns and some issues were resolved. So, at least I know I DO exist in their eyes. I expressed my deep appreciation to him for his response. I suggest if anyone has a legitimate issue regarding the casino, you might want to consider sending them a letter as well. Be respectful, state your concerns, and by all means, have some facts to support your reason for contacting them.

 

OMG! I won 50 cents!!!!!

OMG! I won 50 cents!!!!!

And finally. “Dear Mr. Misfit. I received your laughable letter here at the town hall and my entire staff really had a great time showing it to everyone. Your suggestion about giving tax breaks to senior citizens was really stupid. Do you really think we here at the town hall are gonna give you or anyone else a tax break? Are you freakin’ nuts. Look pal, my job as first selectman is to get as much money as we can from everybody in this town. So quit with the letters and just enjoy the privilege of living here. Oh yeah, and don’t forget, taxes are due in July.”

A future town selectperson

A future town selectman

But, I never even got ANY response from any of those people. At least if they wrote back I’d have known I actually exist.

Even a f**k off a**hole would have even been comforting. At least I would have known they got my letters and that I do exist.

I even went so far as to go on Facebook chat and asked my neighbor if she could see me on chat. Just to see if I DID exist. She responded and confirmed that I existed.

So, what the hell is the problem then?fig8

Unless……..unless……..I only exist in a cyber world. You know, like on WordPress, Facebook, Twitter and the rest of those social media sites. That might be it.

I ALWAYS get responses on those sites. You know, comments on this inane blog, on Facebook, and Twitter, and occasionally on WordPress.

Ok…Ok……one person on WordPress. Katy Anders……which proves, because she lives in Texas, which is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay far away, that I exist.

Then again, no one EVER donates to this blog for creative effort, and Katy is the only one for the most part that comments, and my next door neighbor and our friend Sharon Joy see me on chat, so that could mean we’re all  also figments of our imaginations too.

OMFG!!!!!

WAIT!

Maybe I’m just imagining all of this stuff and blowing everything out of proportion.

Ten again, I'm not the only one blowing things out of proportion

Then again, I’m not the only one blowing things out of proportion

Yeah, that’s it. I’m just getting ballistic over no one responding to me because that’s a figment of my imagination too. I feel much better now that I’ve though this all out.

“Honeeee. Do YOU think I’m a figment of my imagination?”

“No Dear.”

“Why….I need a really good answer so I’ll feel a helluva lot better.”

“Because.”

“Oh…..um…..ok.”

Because..............

Because…………..

(sigh)

DONATE & SUPPORT: The for real MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link which is NOT a figment of YOUR imagination: (Copy & Paste the link to make a REAL donation) https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=QQST38XT3YK78

Copyright 2015 MisfitWisdfom RLV

DILLIGARA Header: chickart@cox.net

 

 

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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3 Responses to I Think I’m a Figment Of My Own Imagination

  1. Look, you exist, it’s just that the rest of us are figments of your imagination. Hope that helps.

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