Donald Trump For President? Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha……..um…soreeeeeee.

trump2

Donald Trump for president……..OMFG!

Oops…sorry God, I know you’ve had a hand in creating job presidents as The Donald sez….so…..I’m soreeee.

sorry1OK…..OK…….the dog’s right. I’m NOT sorry. Maybe The Donald IS right. After all, with his bucks he probably has an IN with God and he DID say this:
“I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created.” –Donald Trump, announcing his campaign for president.”

mmmm

Wanna bet……..

The greatest gift of all, was Donald announcing his candidacy for the presidency. Oh Gawd….thank yew. Thank yew.

Donald Trump, 2016 Campaign, cartoonists, political cartoon

Thank Yew….Thank Yew…Oh Gawd….Thank Yew soooooooooo much

Soooo, I went (gleefully) to the place everyone goes to find stupid stuff, (The Internet) and came up with these quote gems from Donald Duck. Um….sorry, I meant Donald Trump. Hey….hard to tell those two apart sometimes.

So let us begin.  Next, more words of wisdom from The Donald:

“When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let’s say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time.” –Donald Trump, on his diplomacy skills

“Yeah, I beats dem all da time. Screw dem Chinese. I know dis Chinese guy and when we play chess I beats him all da time…um….that’s what I really meant.”

mmmmm

Cue in the Cowsills……………

Onward……………

“Free trade is terrible. Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people. But we have stupid people.”

Huh? Must be talking about trading comic books. Like I did when I was a kid. Cause I only traded them with dumb people so I got the best comics in the deal.

“We need a leader that wrote The Art of the Deal.” –Donald Trump, plugging his book in his presidential campaign announcement.

Hmmmm…….anybody wanna ask me who wrote that book? Anybody….somebody…..any takers?trump3

“I have people that have been studying [Obama’s birth certificate] and they cannot believe what they’re finding… I would like to have him show his birth certificate, and can I be honest with you, I hope he can. Because if he can’t, if he can’t, if he wasn’t born in this country, which is a real possibility…then he has pulled one of the great cons in the history of politics.” –Donald Trump, three weeks before Obama released his long-form birth certificate in 2011

What are the odds that Donald was born in Transylvania and his father’s name was Frank N. Stein. HEY!  Have ya seen photos of his hair for cripes sake!

“Let me tell you, I’m a really smart guy. I was a really good student at the best school in the country. The reason I have a little doubt, just a little, is because he grew up and nobody knew him.” –Donald Trump, on why he thought Obama wasn’t born in the United States

Yeah! Good point Donald. I, personally NEVER saw Obama, anywhere! I didn’t know him. NEVER saw him in a Wal-Mart, Dunkin Donuts, McDonald’s, soooooo, how TF do we actually know if he’s smart or not or actually ever was in the United States. Everybody knows that ya have to have at least been seen in one of those places to be smart and born here.

And yet more on da birth issue…………………

“We have to look at it, we have to see is it real, is it proper, what’s on it, but I hope it checks out beautifully. I am really proud, I am really honored.” –Donald Trump, on President Obama releasing his long-form birth certificate.

Yeah! But is it on parchment paper for one?

Proof that the Donald WAS born.

Proof that the Donald WAS born.

And this profound quote on Donald’s view on gay marriage.

“It’s like in golf. A lot of people — I don’t want this to sound trivial — but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It’s weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can’t sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist.” – Donald Trump telling the New York Times why he opposes gay marriage

Hmmm. Let me see if I understand this correctly. If you’re a golfer with a long putter this somehow has something to do with gay marriage?

“I don’t like the crying.” –Donald Trump, on House Speaker John Boehner

Unless……um….I lose the presidential nomination.

“These are stupid people that say, `Oh didn’t Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn’t he go bankrupt?’ I didn’t go bankrupt.” –Donald Trump, on filing for bankruptcy on parts of his various businesses

Just sayin'

Just sayin’

“The man that wrote the second book … didn’t write the first book. The difference was like chicken salad and chicken s**t.” -Donald Trump, on President Obama’s books

Personally, given the choice, I’d opt for the chicken salad.

“I will build you … one of the great ballrooms of the world.” –Donald Trump, on building a $100 million ballroom at the White House

Yeah, and den ahm gonna have the biggest casino in Washington, D.C. Um…lets see……um….yeah, “Trump White House Casino.”

“I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.” –Donald Trump, while teasing a presidential run in 2000

Let’s see….there was Ivana…………

Ivana Trump: Hey, honest my ass....the jerk divorced me. WHAT! My boobs wern't big enough?

Ivana Trump: Hey, honest my ass….the jerk divorced me. WHAT! My boobs weren’t big enough?

And Marla………………..trump6

“I’ll tell you, it’s Big Business. If there is one word to describe Atlantic City, it’s Big Business. Or two words – Big Business.” –Donald Trump

Or…maybe three words. Um, Big Business Casinos. Hey, maybe even four words…I dunno.

“You know, it really doesn`t matter what [the media] write as long as you`ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.” –Donald Trump

Spoken like a true presidential candidate. Who resembles and possibly is speaking of this ass…………….

You talkin' about me Donald baybeeee?

You talkin’ about me Donald baybeeee?

“All of the women on ‘The Apprentice’ flirted with me — consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.” –Donald Trump

Most likely unconscious or on drugs.

“She really has become a monster … I mean monster in the most positive way.” –Donald Trump, on his pregnant wife Melania

Hang in there Ivana and Marla, you may have company verrrry soon.

mmmm

Available at Amazon.com

“You know the funny thing, I don’t get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people.” –Donald Trump

Yep……all the middle class slugs who work for me and kiss my ass.

“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body.” –Donald Trump

Which I’ve noticed on many occasions while masturbating.

“I’m not a schmuck. Even if the world goes to hell in a handbasket, I won’t lose a penny.” –Donald Trump

Cause only schmucks go to my casinos and blow their money as I rake it in. See….I ain’t no freakin’ schmuck.

mmmmm

Bastards…………

“The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.” –Donald Trump

Which is the only reason I have those beautiful women clinging to me. Hey, do ya really think I could attract any decent looking woman with this hair and my grapefruit sucking lips for cripes sake!

I rest my case......

I rest my case……

So…….considering you’ve just read some of The Donald’s most intelligent remarks, would YOU vote for him for president?

Not me………..

If I’m gonna vote for anyone named “Donald” it’s gonna be this guy………………d duck1

At least he’s brave enough to campaign without wearing any pants……………..now THAT’S honesty.

mmmmm

Ok….that explains things

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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2 Responses to Donald Trump For President? Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha……..um…soreeeeeee.

  1. katydidknot says:

    This guy really gets on my nerves. He’s not likable. I don’t like looking at him.

    I do like one of his quotes about his faith. he was asked about his beliefs and because he’s Donald Trump, he immediately thought he could prove he was an expert by saying he had a lot of Bibles.

    “There’s no way I would ever throw anything, to do anything negative to a Bible. I would have a fear of doing something other than very positive, so actually I store them and keep them and sometimes give them away to other people but I do get sent a lot of Bibles and I like that. I think that’s great.”

    What the hell?

  2. misfit120 says:

    Gets on my nerves too Katy. Betcha he doesn’t make it past the first debates.

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