Hey! You’re a real pig!
Now normally that would piss off anyone who was called a pig. BUT, if your name is “Giggles” and you’re actually a real honest to goodness bona-fide pig, me thinkith it would be a compliment.
Especially in Flint, Michigan where Giggles the pig lives, AND….is running for mayor.
YES! A pig is running for mayor. (the four-legged kind you idiots)
Sometimes ya have to make these things perfectly clear.
Anyhow, according to “Salon.com” and reporter Colin Gorenstein, the race is heating up and there’s a lot of bacon being sizzled between the opponents.
In fact, Giggles opponent has vowed to “feast off of him” at his victory party.
That no good rotten pig.
Um…no, I meant Giggles opponent is a no good rotten pig for issuing that threat.
Um, maybe I should reword that considering “Giggles” IS a pig. Ok…his opponent is a no good rotten slug.
This all began when area defense attorney Michael Ewing, (no relation to J. R. Ewing) cited on his Facebook page the fact that it’s not unusual for convicted murderers to run for city council, so why not run a pig. Saying that a pig would be more dignified.
Ewing wrote on Giggles Facebook page as quoted from the article:
“That, while he considers himself a “pretty forgiving person,” he just couldn’t fathom an ex-convict with such a contentious history with the community holding down a leadership position. “I think electing a mayor who was convicted of murder sends a bad message about our city. Not to mention the embarrassing letters he has written about Flint.”
He continues: “So, yes, I am running Giggles the Pig for Mayor of Flint. I hope that you will vote for her as a mayoral candidate who has never murdered a human. She has never placed citizens in harm by driving drunk on the highway, and has never interrupted public business and public meetings. She is a sweet and intelligent animal—which is more than can be said for some candidates.”
AND….I might insert here myself, really would be part of a great BLT.
Now the ex-convict who’s running against Giggles, Wantwaz Davis…………….
The guys first name is “Wantwaz?”
Cripes. Who TF names their kid Wantwaz? No wonder he’s an ex-convict. If my parents named ME Wantwaz I’d be kicking ass all over the place from kids taunting me about my name.
It was bad enough being named “Dick” and putting up with those “gum on your Dick jokes.”
Anyhow, Wantwaz says that he’s outraged by this campaign and has threatened to eat the candidate.
Geez……now THAT would really make me pay attention to politics next year what with all the candidates running for President. Hell, if one threatened to eat the other I’d sure as hell watch coverage.
Um….then again, if one did threaten to eat the other that could be taken out of context and turned into a sexual slur. BUT….that said…I’d still watch the coverage. Even though I hate reality TV. BUT…..that might be worth watching.
Hmmmmm. Maybe we should have a couple of porn stars running in the next election, THEN, when they say they’re gonna eat……um…..er…..neverrrrrrr mind. I think there’s enough porn on TV as it is……………………….
Back to Wantwaz.
In his actual comments he stated: “I will be the next mayor of Flint, Michigan and will feast off of your pig at my victory party, you can get in for free, VIP on me!”
He might be in a bit of jeopardy there however. First of all, there’s the Jewish vote.
HEY! Maybe that was the point of all this. Giggles gets the Jewish vote along with BLT lovers, and SHAZAM! gets elected. Nobody doesn’t like BLT’s.
OK…OK….if you’re Jewish you leave out the “B” on a BLT.
BUT…..if you do love and have compassion for pigs, (the four-legged kind…again) ya might vote for Giggles.
Soooo……..as I see it, Wantwaz may Wantto change his statement a bit about eating Giggles.
Maybe soften it up a bit and offer lox and bagels at his proposed victory party if Giggles the pig loses. Hey…..ya gotta go after the vote anyway you can.
The article also pointed out that due to a recent slip-up, all candidates must run as write-ins and that could mean that Giggles could conceivably win the election.
To which I would say, “Wantwiththat?”
DAMN! Now I have a craving for a BLT sandwich.
Sorry Giggles…..no disrespect intended,
And, um….good luck.
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