Bored? Well, How About Celebrating These Days In The Month Of May

may1

Besides the important days we normally celebrate in the month of May such as, Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, V E Day, Armed Forces Day, and Police Officers Day, here are some other days you might wanna celebrate. Party, party, party.party

First on our list, on the 1st, is one I’m really looking forward to. “National Tuba Day.” Why just yesterday I said to my friend Tom, “Geez, I can’t wait to celebrate “National Tuba Day.” At which time he headed to his cupboard, whipped out a can of “Bumble Bee” tuna, and made us a sandwich. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was TUBA!!!! Besides, I was hungry.

After nights of dueling banjos and tubas the townsfolk finally had enough

After nights of dueling banjos and tubas the townsfolk finally had enough

Also on the 1st is “May Day.” This is the day that you can legitimately whip out that old 45 RPM record by Bill Deal and the Rhondells called, “May I” or play the Bee Gees “First of May.” Any other time and you’ll be called a geek.

And on the 1st, another great day, “Mother Goose Day.” Considering Mother’s Day is celebrated this month it makes complete sense to me that you should be able to goose any mother on “Mother Goose Day.” Providing of course it’s your wife.

Um….scuse me for a moment. My demented mind just remembered this mother joke. I’ll apologize in advance.

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone.

When she bent over, Rover took over, he had a bone of his own.mother hubbard1

Sorrreeeeee………sorry1

Ok…Ok…..I’m not……..so here’s one more…………mother hubbard2And yet again on the first, “Save The Rhino Day.” Cripes, I didn’t even know they needed saving. Or is it that you should save Rhinos. You know, like collecting them for when they become valuable then you can cash them in for big bucks. My guess anyhow.

FINALLY, we’re off of the 1st. On the 3rd is “Lumpy Ring Day.” Of course, to honor that great celebrity Lumpy on “Leave It To Beaver” who I guess wore a lot of rings.lumpyAh…..another one of my favorites on the 4th , “National Bird Day.”

finger1

And, for you conservatives, the politically correct bird…….finger2

Need I say more……………..

The 5th of May is “Cinco de Mayo Day” The one day of the year where we can celebrate mayonnaise.mayo1On the 5th too, we celebrate “National Teachers Day.” And, as always, I will pause for a moment and celebrate my distinct memories of Ms. Fervendorfer, my 9th grade history teacher.

NO MISFIT! There is not a country called Boobalonia. Now SIT DOWN!

NO MISFIT! There is not a country called Boobalonia. Now SIT DOWN!

The 6th is “No Diet Day.” Which I personally celebrate 365 days a year. Twinkie anyone?

The 8th is “No Socks Day.” I assume this is to honor the Clinton’s cat “Socks” who passed away in 2009.

Socks the cat

Socks the cat

The 9th is “International Migration Bird Day.” Similar to “Bird Day” on the 4th. This day you are allowed to migrate to other places and give people the bird. Say like England for instance who’s given us the bird many times in the past.

Ok....two fingers

Ok….two fingers

The 11th is “Twilight Zone Day.”

I'd go with documentary

I’d go with documentary. How the hell else do ya explain Honey Boo Boo, Ted Cruz  and Donald Trump

The 13th is “Frog Jumping Day.” If you live in an area where frog legs are a delicacy you may have a difficult time observing any frog jumping.frog

This next one, “Dance Like A Chicken Day” on the 14th had me stymied until I remembered this:

The 16th of May is “Love A Tree Day.” Which is perfectly normal. I do it on occasion myself. Yes, I HAVE a woman to love, but, every now and then ya have to “branch out.”tree1Unless your a damn pervert and have other things on your mind like actually making love to a tree………….tree2The 17th is “Pack Rat Day.” This does not mean you collect rats and pack them in boxes and ship them to the lower side of New York City. They already have enough rats from last year when I failed to mention that.

Photo of an actual pack rat

Photo of an actual pack rat

 

Not to be confused with "The Rat Pack"

Not to be confused with “The Rat Pack”

For the life of me I have no freakin’ idea why anyone on the face of the Earth would want to celebrate “National Macaroon Day,” on May 31st, but hey, , if that’s your thing, go for it.

Whatever.............

Whatever………….

FINALLY…..Gawd this was an excruciating month to celebrate.

On the last day of the month, the 31st, (duh) we get to celebrate, “Save Your Hearing Day.”

WHAT?

I SAID THE 31st IS SAVE YOUR HEARING DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT???hearing1

And…….to conclude this blog………………………….thats all folks

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DILLIGARA Header: chickart@cox.net

 

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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2 Responses to Bored? Well, How About Celebrating These Days In The Month Of May

  1. katydidknot says:

    I always like it when you do one of these. I don’t ever link to one of my own posts on other people’s pages, but I wrote this bit a few years back (http://www.fascistdykemotors.com/2011/02/white-history-month-needs-assessment.html ) in which I did basically the same thing in response to people complaining about there being no White History Month.

    People get really upset about Black History Month but then forget to celebrate, say, National Horseradish Month (July, if you’re wondering).

    We ought to have to celebrate every single official day. National “Dance Like a Chicken Day” has been ignored for too long!

  2. misfit120 says:

    Agree. It’s bad enough that stinkin’ Easter Bunny gets all the credit for Easter eggs when we all know it the chicken that does all the work. So, we all need to dance like a chicken in honor of Dance Like A Chicken Day. Glad you enjoy these monthly lists. I’ll check out that link you set and see if I can find your White History Month blog. : )

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