Besides the important days we normally celebrate in the month of May such as, Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, V E Day, Armed Forces Day, and Police Officers Day, here are some other days you might wanna celebrate. Party, party, party.
First on our list, on the 1st, is one I’m really looking forward to. “National Tuba Day.” Why just yesterday I said to my friend Tom, “Geez, I can’t wait to celebrate “National Tuba Day.” At which time he headed to his cupboard, whipped out a can of “Bumble Bee” tuna, and made us a sandwich. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was TUBA!!!! Besides, I was hungry.
Also on the 1st is “May Day.” This is the day that you can legitimately whip out that old 45 RPM record by Bill Deal and the Rhondells called, “May I” or play the Bee Gees “First of May.” Any other time and you’ll be called a geek.
And on the 1st, another great day, “Mother Goose Day.” Considering Mother’s Day is celebrated this month it makes complete sense to me that you should be able to goose any mother on “Mother Goose Day.” Providing of course it’s your wife.
Um….scuse me for a moment. My demented mind just remembered this mother joke. I’ll apologize in advance.
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone.
Ok…Ok…..I’m not……..so here’s one more…………And yet again on the first, “Save The Rhino Day.” Cripes, I didn’t even know they needed saving. Or is it that you should save Rhinos. You know, like collecting them for when they become valuable then you can cash them in for big bucks. My guess anyhow.
FINALLY, we’re off of the 1st. On the 3rd is “Lumpy Ring Day.” Of course, to honor that great celebrity Lumpy on “Leave It To Beaver” who I guess wore a lot of rings.Ah…..another one of my favorites on the 4th , “National Bird Day.”
Need I say more……………..
The 5th of May is “Cinco de Mayo Day” The one day of the year where we can celebrate mayonnaise.On the 5th too, we celebrate “National Teachers Day.” And, as always, I will pause for a moment and celebrate my distinct memories of Ms. Fervendorfer, my 9th grade history teacher.
The 6th is “No Diet Day.” Which I personally celebrate 365 days a year. Twinkie anyone?
The 8th is “No Socks Day.” I assume this is to honor the Clinton’s cat “Socks” who passed away in 2009.
The 9th is “International Migration Bird Day.” Similar to “Bird Day” on the 4th. This day you are allowed to migrate to other places and give people the bird. Say like England for instance who’s given us the bird many times in the past.
The 11th is “Twilight Zone Day.”
This next one, “Dance Like A Chicken Day” on the 14th had me stymied until I remembered this:
The 16th of May is “Love A Tree Day.” Which is perfectly normal. I do it on occasion myself. Yes, I HAVE a woman to love, but, every now and then ya have to “branch out.”Unless your a damn pervert and have other things on your mind like actually making love to a tree………….The 17th is “Pack Rat Day.” This does not mean you collect rats and pack them in boxes and ship them to the lower side of New York City. They already have enough rats from last year when I failed to mention that.
For the life of me I have no freakin’ idea why anyone on the face of the Earth would want to celebrate “National Macaroon Day,” on May 31st, but hey, , if that’s your thing, go for it.
FINALLY…..Gawd this was an excruciating month to celebrate.
On the last day of the month, the 31st, (duh) we get to celebrate, “Save Your Hearing Day.”
I SAID THE 31st IS SAVE YOUR HEARING DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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