I have decided that I am going to build a special room in my basement to house all of the various receipts I get when I go shopping and buy something.
I’ll tell ya why. BECAUSE IF YA DON’T YOU’RE, AT SOME POINT, GONNA GET F**KED! By wonderful manufacturers who make crap products and, of all things, want a damn receipt for that crap product you bought several months ago and it no longer works or ya break it if you want a replacement or a refund.
YES….yet another MisfitWisdom product crapola product rant. If only to save the rest of you consumers the agony of buying this product and having to dig through tons of receipts to find the one you need, but, of course, it’s never there.
Soooo, as the story goes, I wanted one of those driveway illumination light sets that light up, (duh) your driveway like an airport runway so that you can zip in at the dead of night doing 65 mph without having to guess where the driveway is when its..(duh) in the dead of night. (It’s dark around my house)
BUT….unlike normal people, I wanted one of those power packs that ya plug in rather than solar lighting. WHY? Because solar lighting basically sucks. At least the ones I’ve owned in the past.
So, I bought a “Malibu” 40 watt power pack with all of the bells and whistles for about $40 bucks from Home Depot. It had everything on it that would make lighting up an electric chair a whiz. If I actually had an electric chair I wanted to light up that is.
A timer, (oh joy) a clock (oh joy) manual or automatic settings (oh double joy) and it was built to withstand a nuclear attack and all kinds of weather including attacks by invading locusts. In my case, gypsy moths.
So, I bought it. What the hell. It came with a money back guarantee.
Yep, worked fine for about 8 months. I was even able to zip into my driveway on many occasions backwards in the dead of night. Um, I do that a lot because on MY street, a main highway, you DO NOT want to back out. Lest you become a windshield wiper bug.
As I said, it worked fine for 8 months, then, blotto. It would not work.
Now, I had mounted this box which was weatherproof outside. Which made sense to me considering it was weatherproof. So they say in their manual. BUT…I figured they may have lied. Perhaps the weather got to it.
What to do?
Hmmm. How about I take the box back and get a replacement.
BUT…..go figure. They actually wanted a receipt that I could show them indicating that I had bought the box I was holding in my hand. Again…go figure.
Sooooo. Do ya think I cold find that #@!*%#! receipt. Noooooooooo.
After all, EVERYBODY saves receipts.
So, I said, “Screw it.” It was only $40 bucks. THIS after remembering that my friend Bobby actually bought it for me because he’s such a nice guy. Which meant that was the reason I didn’t have that damn receipt. Oh yeah…..neither did he.
Soooooo. I bought another one of those Malibu lights, mainly because it was the only one that was not strictly solar, and I figured, “Hey, what are the chances of another light going bonkers.”
Yep….five months later, AND, wiring this sucker INSIDE the basement, jusssst in case they lied about it being weatherproof, it too crapped out. WTF!
Do ya think I could find that damn receipt? Of course not. This after an exhaustive in-house investigation by me, my other half, the CIA, FBI, NSA, Hillary Clinton’s e-mails, the Benghazi Committee and Wolf Blitzer.
The bad news is that I called Malibu Lighting and cried my eyes out, (figured crying helps sometimes) and the service tech said that they’d replace it for free if I just simply sent them my receipt. (you know where that went)
The good news is that Home Depot, (crying my eyes out again when they couldn’t find any record of my receipt either, or that I actually exist) felt, as Bill Clinton would say, “Ah feel yer pain.” actually felt my pain and sent me a $10 gift certificate…..for my pain of course.
Now the moral to this boring story is that you should never….I say NEVER throw out receipts that you get from ANY store that you made a purchase at. NEVER!!!!
Build yourselves a special vault where you can store receipts from the day you were born until the day you die….jusssst in case. Might even wanna take a selfie of yourself whenever you buy something with someone holding up a time and date cue card behind you and the store clerk holding what you bought in their hand.
Oh yeah….get a bunch of witnesses, (other shoppers) in the photo too. Just in case ya wanna go to court of something.
Now the only other option consumers have with regard to losing a receipt and wanting to take an item back to a store and get a replacement and NOT having that receipt, is to invest in a really good photo shop app for your computer and make up your own receipts when the occasion arises.
After all, you’re not scamming them outta anything. Ya just want a stinkin’ replacement. If a receipt makes them happy……f**k it….give them a receipt. Then EVERYBODY’S happy, happy, happy.
In the meantime, I’m saving up just in case I can find another manufacturer other than Malibu that has a wired in power pack. I figure on my income it’ll take me several months to save up that $40 bucks.
BUT….in the meantime I’ve solved the problem by simply installing brown paper bags with candles and sand in them along my driveway when we go out at night.
My other half complains every time we have to light those things because the matches keep blowing out from the wind, so I bought her one of those propane igniters to keep her quiet.
AND……I kept the receipt…..just in case.
So far it’s working out just fine………um……with just one minor incident….but……we DO have homeowners insurance.
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