I Have Become A Receipt Pack Rat. Ya Just Can’t Throw ANYTHING Away!!!!!!!!

And they said computers would save paper

And they said computers would save paper

I have decided that I am going to build a special room in my basement to house all of the various receipts I get when I go shopping and buy something.

Why?

I’ll tell ya why. BECAUSE IF YA DON’T YOU’RE, AT SOME POINT, GONNA GET F**KED! By wonderful manufacturers who make crap products and, of all things, want a damn receipt for that crap product you bought several months ago and it no longer works or ya break it if you want a replacement or a refund.

Hope he kept the receipt

Hope he kept the receipt

YES….yet another MisfitWisdom product crapola product rant. If only to save the rest of you consumers the agony of buying this product and having to dig through tons of receipts to find the one you need, but, of course, it’s never there.receipt1

Soooo, as the story goes, I wanted one of those driveway illumination light sets that light up, (duh) your driveway like an airport runway so that you can zip in at the dead of night doing 65 mph without having to guess where the driveway is when its..(duh) in the dead of night. (It’s dark around my house)

BUT….unlike normal people, I wanted one of those power packs that ya plug in rather than solar lighting. WHY? Because solar lighting basically sucks. At least the ones I’ve owned in the past.

So, I bought a “Malibu” 40 watt power pack with all of the bells and whistles for about $40 bucks from Home Depot. It had everything on it that would make lighting up an electric chair a whiz. If I actually had an electric chair I wanted to light up that is.

A timer, (oh joy) a clock (oh joy) manual or automatic settings (oh double joy) and it was built to withstand a nuclear attack and all kinds of weather including attacks by invading locusts. In my case, gypsy moths.

So, I bought it. What the hell. It came with a money back guarantee.

Cue the Billy Joel song (below)

Yep, worked fine for about 8 months. I was even able to zip into my driveway on many occasions backwards in the dead of night. Um, I do that a lot because on MY street, a main highway, you DO NOT want to back out. Lest you become a windshield wiper bug.

As I said, it worked fine for 8 months, then, blotto. It would not work.

Now, I had mounted this box which was weatherproof outside. Which made sense to me considering it was weatherproof. So they say in their manual. BUT…I figured they may have lied. Perhaps the weather got to it.

What to do?

Hmmm. How about I take the box back and get a replacement.

BUT…..go figure. They actually wanted a receipt that I could show them indicating that I had bought the box I was holding in my hand. Again…go figure.

Sooooo. Do ya think I cold find that #@!*%#! receipt. Noooooooooo.

After all, EVERYBODY saves receipts.

Woof.....

Woof…..

So, I said, “Screw it.” It was only $40 bucks. THIS after remembering that my friend Bobby actually bought it for me because he’s such a nice guy. Which meant that was the reason I didn’t have that damn receipt. Oh yeah…..neither did he.

Soooooo. I bought another one of those Malibu lights, mainly because it was the only one that was not strictly solar, and I figured, “Hey, what are the chances of another light going bonkers.”

Yep….five months later, AND, wiring this sucker INSIDE the basement, jusssst in case they lied about it being weatherproof, it too crapped out. WTF!

Do ya think I could find that damn receipt? Of course not. This after an exhaustive in-house investigation by me, my other half, the CIA, FBI, NSA, Hillary Clinton’s e-mails, the Benghazi Committee and Wolf Blitzer.

BUT……I have every other receipt for everything I ever bought dating back to 2007 AD. WTF! (again)'Actually, sir, if you read your receipt, it says monkey-back guarantee!'

The bad news is that I called Malibu Lighting and cried my eyes out, (figured crying helps sometimes) and the service tech said that they’d replace it for free if I just simply sent them my receipt. (you know where that went)

The good news is that Home Depot, (crying my eyes out again when they couldn’t find any record of my receipt either, or that I actually exist) felt, as Bill Clinton would say, “Ah feel yer pain.” actually felt my pain and sent me a $10 gift certificate…..for my pain of course.

Now the moral to this boring story is that you should never….I say NEVER throw out receipts that you get from ANY store that you made a purchase at. NEVER!!!!

SEEEE! Exactly my point!

SEEEE! Exactly my point!

Build yourselves a special vault where you can store receipts from the day you were born until the day you die….jusssst in case. Might even wanna take a selfie of yourself whenever you buy something with someone holding up a time and date cue card behind you and the store clerk holding what you bought in their hand.

Oh yeah….get a bunch of witnesses, (other shoppers) in the photo too. Just in case ya wanna go to court of something.

Now the only other option consumers have with regard to losing a receipt and wanting to take an item back to a store and get a replacement and NOT having that receipt, is to invest in a really good photo shop app for your computer and make up your own receipts when the occasion arises.

After all, you’re not scamming them outta anything. Ya just want a stinkin’ replacement. If a receipt makes them happy……f**k it….give them a receipt. Then EVERYBODY’S happy, happy, happy.

OR……..find one of these guys…………….receipts7

In the meantime, I’m saving up just in case I can find another manufacturer other than Malibu that has a wired in power pack. I figure on my income it’ll take me several months to save up that $40 bucks.

BUT….in the meantime I’ve solved the problem by simply installing brown paper bags with candles and sand in them along my driveway when we go out at night.

Um....I have a tricky driveway

Um….I have a tricky driveway

My other half complains every time we have to light those things because the matches keep blowing out from the wind, so I bought her one of those propane igniters to keep her quiet.

AND……I kept the receipt…..just in case.

So far it’s working out just fine………um……with just one minor incident….but……we DO have homeowners insurance.

mmmmmm

Honeeeeee! I told ya….light one bag at a time for cripes sake!!!!

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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2 Responses to I Have Become A Receipt Pack Rat. Ya Just Can’t Throw ANYTHING Away!!!!!!!!

  1. katydidknot says:

    I’m not good with receipts.

    Afew years back, I was helping my great grandmother empty out her house. She had a cabinet with every receipt she’d ever gotten going back to the Fifties. You couldn’t read any of them because the ink rubs off in 15 minutes, but they were in this drawer.

    Frankly, I don’t return things very often. They’ll give me a receipt when I am, say, buying feed crickets at the pet store, and I always think, “So this is in case I want to return my crickets?”

    Still, after reading this, now I’ll keep them.

    • misfit120 says:

      A receipt to get a refund on a cricket! REALLY! Geez Katy……now you’ve got me thinking…..I should have saved my receipts from when I adopted my cats from the pound too. Hmmmmm, wonder if ya can get a receipt like when you get married and it doesn’t work out and you want a refund. Worth a shot….ya think.

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