Cruising right along in the lant….(how Lawrence Welk would have pronounced “land”) of that wonderful philosopher Teddy Cruz, second only to that other great philosopher, Mitty Romney, (corporations are great people too ya know) ol Teddy has some pretty strange ideas on a woman’s hymen.
You know, that pesky little thingy that George Washington, as a mere child, told his father that he had chopped….um….WAIT! I think I got that wrong.
Sorry….it was a “”cherry tree” that George chopped down which had cherries on it that he told his father that he couldn’t tell a lie and admitted to chopping it down.
Um….then again, hymens are slangy referred to as “cherries,” sooooooooooo, I wasn’t too far off base.
In yesterday’s “New York Times” they decided to take a look back into Teddy’s college days when he may, or may have not either chopped down a cherry tree or two himself, or managed to indulge in some other extracurricular activity with the other kind of cherry.
The article pointed out that Ted was a masturbator and………oops…..sorry, (DAMN! Read that wrong. I really need to get a new eyeglass prescription.
The article actually said, (using a magnifying glass) “Ted was a “master debater” while in college and during an attempt at humor, and we all know what a funny guy he is, said the following.
(in quotes from the Times article)
“In one debate, he proposed a method to detect infidelity, in which God should “give women a hymen that grows back every time she has intercourse with a different guy, because that will be a ‘visible sign’ of the breach of trust …”
Let me see if I understand this correctly. IF……IF……that were possible, (cough) how would that be a “breach of trust” if the hymen grew back? Am I missing his point here?
Now, my thinking, (not being the brightest crayon in the box) IF….IF…..a woman’s hymen were actually able to grow back then she’d obviously, in any guy’s eyes who had sex with her, be considered a virgin.
(can ya tell I grew up in the 50’s)
Ya see folks. If ya had sex with a girl, (in my day, 1950’s AD) and she was a virgin, there were tell-tale signs she WAS a virgin.
(no…I’m not going to explain those signs….if you’re so stupid you don’t know……then every woman who tells you she’s a virgin and that you’re the first guy she’s been with, and you believe it…..I got a bridge in Brooklyn I’ll sell ya reallllllll cheap)
So what Ted means, I guess, and this is a wild stab, is that if a woman’s hymen DOES grow back, (a star will ultimately rise in the East) that it is a “breach of trust” because the poor bastard who had sex with her, I’m assuming after she’s re-grown several or more hymens, would think she’s a virgin, and, trust her, but, she’d be lying, which, I guess, would be a breach of trust.
Damn……this is sooooooooo confusing.
I can’t wait for him to explain where babies come from.
Better yet……..possibly how a virgin can have a baby.
That IS possible. Yes….I’m aware of the “Immaculate Conception” many eons ago and the one time a star DID rise in the East. I ain’t stoopid ya know. But the other way. Artificial insemination.
So basically that kinda negates the cherry, um….sorry, hymen argument as I see it.
Which also means any woman could be a virgin and be telling the truth…….artificially of course.
Um….scuse me……..I have to listen to this recording so that I can understand everything. I think Ted Cruz may be considering re-recording it….
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