FINALLY! Somebody Tells Us How To Communicate With Cats.


So the highlight of my day this morning was picking up my local newspaper and reading an article by AP reporter Sue Manning entitled, “Cats Chat With Us Through Meows, Blinks and Roving Whiskers.”

I might add that there was nothing in that article that said anything about cats communicating with us by barfing on every man-made object we have in our house. Or their perfect timing when barfing up hairballs, which is usually at dinnertime or when you have to make a trip to the bathroom in the dead of night and it’s dark and you’re in your bare feet.kitty3

Obviously Sue either does not have a cat that barfs, or, has a weak stomach and gets queasy writing about cat barfing up hairballs. My guess anyhow.

Soooooo. What does she reveal to all of us about cats communicating with their owners. (frankly, its cats that own us)kitty6

First of all Sue writes that “meows mean a lot of things.”

“With each purr, yowl or blink, felines are saying, “Hello,” “Let’s snuggle,” or “Beat it Mom.”

As far as I’m concerned, “meow” is “meow.” If any of you cat owners can get anything else outta a simple, “meow,” consider yourself gifted, or just plain nuts.

When a simple meow is not enough

For those times when a simple meow is not enough

The only time “I” understand what a “meow” means is if I am within 2 feet of the cat snack jar and they meow, THEN I completely understand what “meow” means.

“Fork over the snacks pal.”

Now if all this is very intriguing to you, then you might wanna rush out to your local bookstore and buy a copy of  the National Geographic book “How To Speak Cat” by Dr. Gary Weitzman, president and CEO of the San Diego Humane Society.

If this guy spends as much time as I think he does talking to cats I’m thinking his social life with real people must suck. Or he’s into snorting catnip big time.

“Hey handsome, you’re kinda really a hot looking guy. Wanna come up to my place honeeee?”

“Um, ya got a big litter box? Purrrrr.”kitty5

Now the article also states that cats can make 16 different meow sounds.


16 different meow sounds? Cripes, again, meow sounds like meow to me.

BUT……this next one I do understand. And that is that the meaning of a scratch or a hiss is pretty clear. Just like if my other half scratches me or hisses. NOW THAT I COMPLETELY GET! Kind of a no brainer.

Another piece of cat info is when your cat winks at you. Similar to when you’re in a bar and some babe winks at you. Cept in this case we’re talkin’ about cats.

A slow blink from them means, (the cat and not the babe in the bar) you’re getting a kitty kiss. When you’re in a bar that slow wink means something entirely different. Like, “Hey baybeee……..comeon’ over here big boy and we’ll get it on………after you buy me a few drinks.’

Did ya notice that cats are like women as I’m reading this article.kitty4

For instance, when cats extend their tails straight up that equates to a human handshake. And if a cat approaches you with its tail up, it’s happy to see you.

SEE…..same thing if you’re in a bar and a woman approaches you. I told ya women are like cats.

BUT WAIT! There’s more to figuring out what cats are tryin’ to tell ya.

Like ear and whisker movements.

If a cat’s ears are flat, don’t get too close because that means it’s scared of something or facing an impending fight. BTW….I DID notice this reaction from Ms. Misfit just the other day when we were in a WalMart and I was ogling some hot looking woman in the cat food aisle.

When a cat is happy, calm, or friendly their whiskers are naturally out to the side. Same effect for myself having a goatee.kitty8

Finally, a cat tip for anyone, from the article, about choosing a cat. “Happy Cats Sanctuary” in Medford, New York, which is either rest home for cats or a place cats can hang out if they’re homeless, advise you to not to go by looks alone when choosing a cat because “the true indicator of compatibility is spending time with a cat and getting to know it.”

Again, just as you would do with a woman.

Unless, you’re again, in a bar and simply looking for a one night stand.




Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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1 Response to FINALLY! Somebody Tells Us How To Communicate With Cats.

  1. katydidknot says:

    The only communication my cats ever tried with me is walking around the house knocking every item off of horizontal surfaces. I am not sure what that means in cat-ese.

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