Now I am a night person. I always hated getting up early in the morning for ANYTHING!!!!
That said, which I just did, on occasion I like to venture out to my local McDonald’s and scarf down breakfast. The problem here is that by the time I get to a McDonald’s breakfast is not being served.
Now I’m not talking about wanting breakfast at noon or later, but say around 10:30 or at least 11am. So what do I get?
“You want breakfast now you damn idiot. Can’t you see that it’s 10:31 and we stop serving breakfast at 10:30!!!”
“Um, yeah, I saw that sign but it’s only one minute past 10:30. Can’t ya cut me a bit of slack there?”
“No, sorry, rules are rules. Don;t you realize that if we started serving you breakfast after 10:30 we could break all kinds of state laws.”
“State laws…..ya mean it’s illegal to serve breakfast after 10:30 and it’s a state law.”
“Um, no, it’s not really a state law, it’s more like if there WAS a state law against serving breakfast at 10:30 McDonald’s would honor that law, so, just in case there actually IS a state law, we’re prepared. Besides, what idiot, present company included, would want to eat breakfast at 10:30 in the morning?”
“Well sorry pal, go to a Denny’s or somewhere else where they don’t give a rats ass what time of the day it is.. Those people have no clue what time it is and serve breakfast all day long.”
So that’s what I go thru when I want breakfast and get up late. Which I don’t think is totally unreasonable considering a lot of people feel as I do. Cept for McDonald’s.
Yep….NOW…..as in, “WTF….are you just realizing that people want breakfast when they want it and not just in the freakin’ morning you damn dumb nuts.”
In San Diego, California, the brainiacs at McDonald’s finally said, “DUH,” and are going to experiment with serving breakfast, (get this) not only after 10:30 am, but all day long!!!! Yes….all day long. As in 24 hours a day.
So, what that means is that I was ahead of my time for all of those years asking them to make me breakfast after 10:30 am. NOW they’re just getting the freakin’ message.
Which really doesn’t help me here living in Connecticut considering I’m not gonna drive to San Diego just to enjoy a McDonald’s hot cakes and sausage with a hash brown breakfast. Not that I didn’t think about it.
So, if any of you folks out there in San Diego have any compassion for the rest of us across the U.S., ya damn well better start eating breakfast at McDonald’s after 10:30am and show them bastards that we want our breakfast when we want it and we want it 24 hours a day.
You blow it and we late risers are really gonna be pissed off. So get movin’. Set your alarm clock for 11am and head out to those McDonald’s in San Diego and demand your breakfast. If you’re a real radical, screw it, set your alarms for 2pm and then go there and demand breakfast.
After all, I was waaaay ahead of my time all those times I went to a McDonald’s and they gave me flack about wanting breakfast after 10:30am. That’s been the curse of my entire life. Being ahead of my time. And I even tried setting my watch back an hour so that I wouldn’t be ahead of my time.
In fact, people tell me this stupid blog is way ahead of its time. That years from now after I’m long gone, this blog will be a huge hit and I’ll not only make millions from donations for creative effort, but be acclaimed as one of the greatest humorist bloggers in the world.
That’s the good news.
The bad news is, considering it took McDonald’s 75 years to figure out the all day breakfast thing, I’ll be freakin’ dead.
Perhaps then, being dead, I’ll be able to at least not be ahead of my time any longer.
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