(NOTE) I used the word “f**k or variations of the word 40 times writing this blog. I wanted to use it more, but for the sake of actually making any sense, I managed to subdue myself. F**K!!!!
Ya know, once again the logical side of my f**king brain sez to myself, “WTF is wrong with baseball?” To which I f**king replied to myself, “NOTHING YOU DUMB F**KING ASSHOLE!!!!”
The asshole in this case, the new baseball f**king commisioner Rob Manfred. (no relation to the rock group Manfred Mann) who wants the game of baseball to be speeded up.
Although, with the recent changes he’s made to the game of baseball, he might as well be related to the group because I thinkith he’s been spending waaaaay too much time playing with his f**king “Do Wah Diddy Diddy.” Or his “Ding-A-Ling.” Your call.
Why you f**king ask?
Well I’ll tell ya in case you’ve been under a f**king rock.
Ya see, it’s like this. A bunch of idiots who run baseball, or, watch baseball and have some sort of f**king influence complained to who the f**k ever, that the game takes too long.
This is where I insert the fact that the first officially recorded game of baseball, (Hoboken, N.J.) has been in existence since 18 f**king 65 which means that the game is (pause for f**king effect) 150 FREAKIN” YARS OLD AND WE SURVIVED WATCHING THOSE GAMES WITHOUT ASSHOLES COMPLAINING HOW LONG THE GAME TOOK BUT JUST SAT BACK ON THEIR ASSES AND ENJOYED THE F**KING GAME FOR CRIPES SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!
Most likely because everyone for all those years didn’t have better things to do with their f**king lives but watch baseball. Unlike today when they have to key in text messages on their i f**king phones, send f**king selfies of themselves, play video games, and generally zone out instead of watching the game.
Not to mention, but I will, what f**king football, unlike baseball, does to we TV viewers who do not follow football……………………
Sooooo. What has this new f**king commissioner decided to do?
Duh………goleee Gomer, I think I’ll speed up da game because it takes sooooo long to play.
According to the article in this weeks f**king TIME Magazine, “the average nine-inning baseball game takes three hours and two minutes.” OMFG!!!
But, who’s counting…..cept for the commissioner and a bunch of assholes.
HEY you stupid jerks. Ya don’t like sitting there watching a game for three hours…..here’s a f**king clue for you………………DON’T GO TO THE F**KING GAME YOU DAMN IDIOTS!
Those of us who love baseball don’t give a flying rats ass how long the game is.
Because we love baseball you dumb asses.
Hey! I got an idea. Let’s, while we’re at it shorten the time it takes to play football.
(can ya hear football fans screaming if that were to happen)
The average length of a professional f**king football game is….pay attention here folks…..An average professional football game lasts 3 hours and 12 minutes, but if you tally up the time when the ball is actually in play, the action amounts to a mere 11 minutes.
YES! Eleven minutes of actual f**king play time because they continually stop the game to do what the f**k it is they do when they’re not actually playing f**king football. Like inserting a gazillion commercials during the game or conversing with each other during a huddle.
“Hey Bruno, nice throw on that last pass. By the way, your butt sure looks cute when you bend over in these huddles.”
But do ya hear anybody complainin’ about the length of THOSE games? Do ya punk?
Because you f**king football fans love football and can’t get enough of it as it is. If it could be 12 hours long and played 365 plus days a year you’d all be in pig, or, for the sake of this blog, “pigskin” heaven.
And you all know I’m right.
So now, (thanks f**king assholes) baseball batters will now have to keep one foot in the batter’s box, lest they actually (Gawd forbid) step outta the box completely and adjust their crotch or something and hold up the game. AND….on top of that, a clock in the stadium will count down the time between innings so that those pesky advertisers can’t sneak in an extra few seconds for an additional commercial.
Which basically means instead of Linette Beaumont doing an entire sexy commercial for Viagra, (which may explain why baseball batters grab their crotches a lot) you’ll only get to see Linette maybe once during a commercial break minus the wetting her lips part. Which could lead to more batters grabbing their freakin’ crotches.
Which would obviously hold up the game even more.
Now I’m not alone on this bitch session. So don’t go all f**king apeshit if you think I’m being somewhat ballistic all by my lonesome self.
Red Sox slugger David Ortiz, (Big Papi) also agrees with me that the baseball commissioned is a f**king asshole.
Um…well, he didn’t actually put it exactly that way, but……close.
His actual comment: “I call that bullshit.”
(TIME Magazine felt it necessary to censor the word “bullshit” lest we actually see it in print and be traumatized)
Kinda like me censoring the word f**k throughout this blog. But, only because, unlike “bullshit,” which is a normal thing for bulls to do, the word “f**k” when seen by little kiddies and politically correct f**king people drives them bonkers.
And I don’t wanna have to write another blog about politically correct people leaving comments on my blog site because I actually typed out the word “f**k.
In conclusion……..considering I DID censor the word “f**k to make my point on how f**king stupid the baseball commissioner is and those new rules are which is supposed to speed up the game, which, in my own feeble opinion needs no speeding up……..
TAKE THIS COMMISSIONER MANFRED>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Ya gotta admit………sometimes the visual effect says it all.
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