Dunkin Donuts….Greetings From The Planet Ork….Na-Nu-Na-Nu To Nanomaterial

nananu1http://youtu.be/KX8DsBpZJU4

Let’s give a big hand to the San Francisco based advocacy group “As You Sow,” (not a Chinese phrase) who had a lot of money to spend checking out what harmful ingredients we may be stuffing down our throats by eating powdered donuts.

Soon to be followed by another group, “You R Messy” who most likely will follow suit and claim powdered donuts cause Americans to spend gazillions of dollars on having their clothes cleaned from eating too many powdered donuts. Especially if ya wear black clothing.donut6

In an article by “Market Watch” and Trey Williams, they say that Dunkin Donuts is planning to remove potentially harmful “nanomaterial” from its powdered donuts.

Considering, at my age, older than dirt, I’ve been eating powdered donuts, along with forking out a lot of dollars on cleaning my black clothing, DO YA THINK YOU COULD HAVE TOLD US SOONER!!!!!!!!!!!

mmmmm

Marvin ends it all after hearing the news from Dunkin Donuts

So, in an independent study in 2013, “As You Sow” (no….not a Japanese phrase either)  tested 10 types of powdered donuts and found, (gasp) a nanoparticle called titanium dioxide in Hostess Donettes and Dunkin Donuts powdered cake donuts.

OMFG!!!!

Bet you think I’m gonna give up eating those don’t you. Yeah right!

Let’s go back in time folks. Say like, the 1950’s when I did a lot of things that obviously would have killed me. Like drinking from a garden hose on a hot summer day. Eating (gasp) trans fats. Drinking a bigggggggg container of Coca Cola. And stuffing my mouth with powdered jelly donuts.

HEY! I’m still here!  Take THAT you politically correct “As You Sow” in my face idiots. You don’t wanna eat powdered donuts, don’t freakin’ eat them.

And you’re gonna have to pry them powdered jelly donuts from my cold dead hands…..or mouth. (To quote an old Charleston Heston phrase….I think)

How it all began back in the 50's.....um......BC

How it all began back in the 50’s…..um……BC

Here’s another case of a group telling the rest of us WTF we can eat and what we can’t. And Dunkin Donuts caves into those jerks. Just like when Taco Bell, (not a Mexican phone company) removed trans fats from their Mexican pizzas and they wound up tasting like FedEx boxes. Which is why I don’t go to Taco Bell anymore.

So let’s read on and see what else we have to go into a state of panic about. Besides Hillary Clinton’s e-mails.

“Dunkin’ Donuts said it is now in the process of removing the nanomaterial after coming under pressure from “As You Sow,” whose effort included putting a proposal before parent company Dunkin’ Brands’ shareholders. In accordance with the withdrawal of that shareholder proposal, Dunkin’ Donuts has 30 days to provide a time-table for the ingredient’s removal from its powdered doughnuts.”

I would assume as we speak, or I write, “As You Sow” is holding a giant celebration at their whatever You Sow headquarters because of their victory in getting Dunkin Donuts to remove those dastardly na nu na nu nanomaterials from little innocent powdered jelly donuts.

Bastards.

WTF is next? Removing chocolate from chocolate covered donuts? Jelly from jelly sticks? Sprinkles from other donuts? Worse yet, claiming unfair treatment that donut holes get because they should remain part of the entire donut!

mmmm

When you’re a bit older honeeeee

Now if you have no clue as to what titanium dioxide is or does, it’s used to brighten white substances. Like bleach when you do your laundry. Cept it tastes a lot better than bleach.

And according to whoever, (yep, “As You Sow”) nanomaterials can cause DNA and chromosomal damage, organ damage, inflammation, brain damage and genital malformations among other harms.”

That’s the bad news.

The good news is, “I’M STILL ALIVE YOU FREAKIN’ IDIOTS AND I’VE BEEN EATING POWDERED DONUTS SINCE I FELL OUTTA THE WOMB!!!!”

Do I look like “I” have brain damage?

Um……well maybe a little. After all, I do write this stupid blog and have no clue why.

Makes sense to me

Makes sense to me

“The main reason for deploying nanotechnology in foods is that it gives manufacturers tighter control over what they’re producing, touching on such areas as coloration, dimensions and taste. Through nanotechnology, manufacturers are able to manipulate materials down to a billionth of a meter.”

“Our concerns are, do doughnuts really need to be wider or brighter, and what’s the effect of that?” asked Danielle Fugere, president of As You Sow. “If we don’t know what happens to the body yet, then we shouldn’t be putting these in our food.”

Sure Danielle. Who TF wants a damn wider donut. Or a brighter one. Gimmie a skinny dull donut. Um, while you’re at it, sprinkle some of that powdered stuff on my skinny dull donut why don’t ya. BECAUSE  I DON’T GIVE A RATS ASS ABOUT THAT NA NU NA NU STUFF BEING ON MY DONUT!!! IT TASTES GOOD!!!!!

Besides,The FDA has stated that it does not judge products containing nanomaterials involving the application of nanotechnology as benign or harmful.

HEY! If the freakin’ FDA also doesn’t give a rats ass why the hell should I.

Um....on second thought....are these FDA cops

Um….on second thought….are these FDA cops

Dunkin’ Brands Chief Communications Officer Karen Raskopf  released a statement regarding all this fuss about bad bad bad bad powdered donuts saying:

“The ingredient used in Dunkin’ Donuts’ powdered doughnuts does not meet the definition of ‘nanoparticle’ as outlined by the FDA guidance.” Still, she said, the company began testing alternative formulations last year and is “in the process of rolling out a solution to the system that does not contain titanium dioxide.”

Solution?

Like maybe instead of that awful powder that will kill us all and ruin our brains maybe just using spray paint or something.

Hey……remember eating that white paste when you were in grade school…….tasted kinda good to me. How about spreading that stuff on jelly donuts or those Donettes instead of that na nu na nu stuff. Is that a great idea or what!donuts8

And the good news is that not only will it taste good, and bring back memories of your childhood days, but you’ll lose weight even while you’re scarfing down donuts.

Because once that paste stuff hardens as you eat those donuts, your mouth will be glued shut and you won’t be able to eat any more donuts.

Just sayin.’

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Copyright 2015 MisfitWisdom RLV

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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