Yes, you could argue the point that hard spirits, booze, hooch, spirited libations, moonshine and such numb the mind on occasions when you’re ready to pound the hell outta some numbnut who drove you, to use and old phrase, “drove you to drink,” but for me, its coffee.
Which is why I have a collection of various old coffee mugs for those special occasions when I am either ready to push the nuclear button, if I actually had access to it, or, on occasion, (very rarely) when my other half, (as in the case of all men) think of where I would bury her body after she totally pisses me off and I lose it……………………which is usually before I have my morning cup of coffee.
Picture it this way. The Incredible Hulk goes berserk when he gets all bent outta shape. Give him a cup of coffee, he’d be fine. Same applied to Dr. Jekyll. Had he ingested that first morning cup of coffee we’d never have heard of Mr. Hyde.
Which most likely explains why Ann Cloutier is such a bitch. She probably doesn’t drink coffee. My guess anyhow.
Now for instance, I get up in the morning, head straight for the ol percolator, turn it on, feed the 3 freeloading cats, (begrudgingly) THEN swing down my first cup of coffee.
SHAZAM!!!!! I’m human. I love life. I feel the urge to take on the day. The possibilities of what the day will bring are endless. I break out into a chorus of, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” (1988 Bobby McFerrin)
Then there’s my other half. Lucretia McEvil BEFORE she has her first cup of coffee and Lucy Ricardo, (“I Love Lucy”) afterwards.
Which, knowing damn well I could be Freddie Kruger before my first cup, ALWAYS do that first….drink my first cup.
But Lucretia!!! Noooooooooooo!
Gawd help me, or any cat that gets in her path on the first few minutes of her realizing that yet another day has arisen and she has to face it……..including looking at me. (not a pretty site in the AM)
To make matters worse, all it takes is some innocent event to tick her the hell off.
So, the rule of the house here, well. at least MY rule, is NEVER to be anywhere in the vicinity of Ms. McEvil until AFTER she’s had her coffee.
So far……I’m alive.
Now, with all this coffee stuff in mind, I’ve gathered together some of my favorite coffee mugs, acquired over my lifetime, which, have survived past ex spouses and their morning tirades……barely.
From my days driving a casino limo all over Gawds land, the pause that refreshed….a break at the Post Road Diner.
And from my endless quest to win a gazillion dollars aimlessly playing the lottery.
Yes….we have cats………………….(HER mug)
And YES…..SHE has more mugs too………………..(sigh)
But MY mugs are much better……..
Better because MY mugs are full of valuable wisdom…………..
Finally, my all time prized possession mug is this next one from 1963 AD. It was given to all of us announcers at a radio station by the Providence, Rhode Island based Autocrat Coffee Company after they bought air time at the station and asked us to ad lib the commercial copy on the air stating just how much we loved their coffee. Yum.
Nice cup huh! And, of course, I ALWAYS drank their coffee. Wink….wink.
Actually, if they’d send me another cup with MisfitWisdom on it I WOULD drink their coffee. Hint….hint.
So, there ya have it. Amazing! All these cups survived eons, along with me and morning spouses, and hopefully many more eons to go.
Um……unless my other half reads today’s blog before she has her morning coffee. Then both me and the mugs could be screwed.
Maybe even the cats.
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