I’m absolutely heartbroken. Devastated. Downtrodden. Depressed. Life is over as I know it. (sob)
Lady Ga Ga is officially engaged to that actor who starred in the movie “Zero Dark Thirty, 33 year-old Tayler Kinney. (sob)
Oh sure, get engaged to some guy who can’t even spell his first name correctly why don’t ya. Everyone knows ya spell Taylor….TAYLOR for cripes sake. Not Tayler.
Oops….soreeeeeeeeeeee. I stand corrected on that. As Tom hanks would say, “fubar.”
BUT….I was only going by what the always honest and completely reliable World Wide Web reported. After all, if it’s on the Internet, it’s gotta be true. Right?
SEE! It wasn’t me who would have gone all through the rest of my life thinking Lady Ga Ga’s boyfriends’ name was Tayler.
Boy has Yahoo got a biggggg pair of you know what for THAT! Again…. fubar.
Oh…..yeah…..in that pic showing Ga Ga with Taylor…….Yahoo, as usual, blocked out the best part of that photo of Ga Ga’s………CLEAVAGE!
BUT…….have no fear, Underdog, (Misfit) is here. I have saved the day. You can thank me later.
OK….OK….so it’s not really cleavage because there’s only one cleave.
Hmmmm. Sideboob then?
No……that’s not it. WTF is it then?
HAH! A half front side boob. (sounds like a football term doesn’t it)
“Get out there on the field and get that ball and do your half front side boob maneuver.”
“Um…..which boob coach?”
“Depends…………..flash whichever half front sideboob those ends or linebacker dudes comin’ at ya will be distracted by.”
Think I actually saw that play in the Super Bowl.
Um, sorry, got distracted there for a bit with all this cleavage/boob/sideboob/football stuff.
Back to my…..(sob)…….heartbreak.
WHY…..WHY…….WHY Lady Ga Ga…..WHY? (sob)
I thought I had a chance when you were naked and covered in meat. I love meat and you do too.
I thought I had a chance when you sang “Bad Romance” and then performed it for President Bill Clinton on his birthday and renamed it “Bill Romance.” I thought if we hooked up you could have done it for me and called it “Dick Romance.”
(yes, my name, other than “Misfit” is “Dick.”)
Has a nice ring to it doesn’t it…..”Dick Romance….”
And the time you had printed words all over your body and I, reading a lot of printed words, saw our connection.
And finally, you teamed up for a duo with Tony Bennett who’s 88 for cripes sake. Which, to me, indicated that old geezers like me are a turn on for you. Guess not.
Oh well. Another missed opportunity for ol Misfit. I knew I should have acted sooner before that Taylor guy made his move,
Now who the hell am I gonna hit on that might find me, Misfit, (old geezer) a great catch?
A sexy meat loving woman who’s not married, quite sexy, has on occasion been verrrry risqué, sings, and maybe shown a side boob or two.
How freakin’ sensual is THIS woman!!
Um….Betty, give me a call. I’m over my Lady Ga Ga infatuation.
And…..I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE hot dogs.
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