A MisfitWisdom reblog from 2011. Why? Because I was too freakin’ lazy to actually write anything.
It never occurred to me that all of the weird telephone calls that I get during the course of the week, along with some really strange junk mail, might be related to what I write in my daily blogs. I never actually connected any of it to what I write. But…..an article that I read this past week lit up the ol MisfitWisdom 25 watt lightbulb in my head.
The article was about employers concerned about employees using social networking sites while on the job. You know, like the surgeon performing a brain operation and pauses for a second to interact with someone on Facebook who’s just sent him a funny joke about brain surgeons interacting on Facebook while performing surgery.
So, many employers have forbidden their employees from social networking while in the workplace because they believe it to be a productivity killer and also fear that if they too ever need brain surgery, they could be screwed.
However, the trend seems to be reversing itself with many employers realizing that there may be an upside to this trend. Namely, more business prospects. Employees connect with someone on a social networking site. Employees, while sending nude photos of themselves, also send their company’s logo and product info. Employers then score a prospective client. How simple and productive is THAT!
So then, after reading that article, I realized I’ve become a potential sales prospect for “telephone-snail-mail-contact-social networking stalkers.”
Ya see, it all makes sense to me now. Now I completely understand why I’ve been getting those phone calls and mail advertisements for male enhancement products, blow up lifelike inflatable dolls, requests for donations to the “Help Save The Aardvark Fund,” a gazillion stickers with my return mail address on it from the “BPOE” “AARP” “NAACP” “FOP” “VFW” “RNC” “DNC” “SPCA” “AAA” and all the rest of those organizations that scour the entire alphabet for a neat abbreviations for their names.
It works this way. If I so much as write something in one of my daily blogs about ANYTHING, it kicks out to one of those employees sitting in an office somewhere on a social network, and then, “Gadzooks” I’m spotted as a potential client for their product or services. Hence, the phone calls and the mail circulars.
HEY!!! You damn people working in offices right now reading this blog! KNOCK IT OFF YOU DAMN SOB’S. Get the freak back to work right now and do your damn jobs or I’m callin’ your boss and ratting on all of you. Do you have any idea what the hell you’re costing your company by wasting time reading this blog? DO YA!!!
Um….wait a second……I take that back. Sorry.
I apologize. Really. Um, it’s ok if you wanna read my blog and take a few minutes from your otherwise boring day at the office. Honest. I really mean it. Sorry, I got upset. Really.
Um……look…um….if any of you reading this are employed by Publishers Clearing House and know what neighborhoods the prize truck will be visiting or just happen to work at some state lottery I wouldn’t mind at all if you sent me some freebies or um, even a tip on how to hit it big with a winning number or perhaps what tickets have the most winners. In fact, if you work at any company that’s looking for people to try their products, say like, BMW’s or testing new $100 dollar bills for the U.S. mint, I’m really open to that. Honest!
Um…..except for that one company that keeps sending me free samples of Viagra…….KNOCK IT OFF!!!
I have enough already. I can barely sit at my computer or walk as it is.
And you’re going to be getting a lot of hate mail from my other half too.
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