I Think Senator Joni Ernst Hypnotized Me…OMG…Ahm Gonna get Castrated!!!!!

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Sen. Joni Ernst making a point after Tuesday’s State of the Union speech

Like every other lemming glued to our television sets on Tuesday night, I too watched the President’s State of the Union speech. Only because there wasn’t anything else worth watching on TV because just about every channel that carries my favorite programs carried that speech. Jussssst so that all of us wouldn’t miss it.

Um….I lied…..sorry….I DID drag out my old DVD of “Enemy At The Gates” starring Jude Law, (for whom the song “Hey Jude” was named after) Joseph Fiennes who could have saved a lot of time writing his name if he only spelled it like it sounds, “fins.” Rachel Weisz who, if you’ve watched the movie, reallllly knows how to make a guy feel good when he’s all uptight lying in some rat hole of a place surrounded by a bunch of smelly Russians. (butt scene)

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Vassili…hurry up for cripes sake….it smells in this place!

And Bob Hoskins who played Nikita Khrushchev, but all I could envision while watching him was Roger Rabbit. And finally one of my favorite actors when he plays no good niks, Ed Harris.

Anyhow, my other half and I watched the movie till it was time for TV to go blotto with the State of the Union address. Which, when it comes to addresses, I always thought was 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. But, alas, it was also NOT about what addresses the President has in his address book.

But for me, the highlight of the night was the official bona fide honest to goodness down to earth shoot me if ahm lyin’ Republican response to the President’s speech given by freshman Senator Joni Ernst of Iowa.

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Sen. Ernst showing amazement at some of the President’s proposals

Who….you may recall, if you read my inane blog on a daily basis, I highlighted the other day for her campaign ad in which she basically mentioned the fact that she’s castrated hogs.

(I always get a bit queasy when I type that word “castrated”….sorry)

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Euwwwwwwwwwwww

It wasn’t her speech in rebuttal to the President’s speech that caught my attention. Nope. It was her facial expressions.  Or “lack” of facial expressions. Through her entire well scripted no hog castrated episodes mentioned speech she never once changed her facial expression. It’s like someone said to her, “smile” show a lot of teeth, open your eyes realllll wide, and then spray painted her face with shellac except for her mouth, which DID move.

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My lips are moving but that’s it folks

Honest! She never changed expressions. You coulda whacked her with a hammer and she’d still have that same expression on her face. How the freak did she do that?

Usually when a speaker is giving a speech, which is what speakers do, give speeches, they try to emphasize crucial points by adding facial expressions. Like a hog being castrated shows extreme pain while having its gonads cut off.

Or, like when your spouse says to you, “Does this dress make me look fat?”

And you have that blank look on your face as you exit the room, THEN laugh your butt off. Those kinda expressions.

But Joni? No other facial expressions other than glowing eyes, a big s**t eatin’ grin on her face and lots of white teeth that would make any dentist proud…….basically HER dentist.

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Joni expressing deep emotion

Facial expressions go along with telling a story. Can you just imagine watching your favorite TV sitcom and all of the characters have the same facial expressions while dropping those one liners.

Um…..WAIT! Sorry, there is one exception to that. “Two Broke Girls.” Both girls, especially Max, (Kat Dennings) have the same look on their faces when doing those one liner jokes.

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Hog castration….ha,ha,ha,ha,ha….good one.

Hmmmmmm.

Hey! That could be it. Joni Ernst has watched way too many episodes of ‘Two Broke Girls” and figured out that if it works for them, hey, might work while giving a rebuttal to the “State of the Union” address!

Thinking that if her speech didn’t make any sense, or it was a big flop, who cares…….she might get a few laughs. Works for “Two Broke Girls.”

AND….considering she’s a freshman Senator from Iowa, and the “Association For The Prevention of Pig Castration” (AFPPC) protests her castration of pigs and rally their group to support another candidate when she comes up for reelection, she could be defeated……or kinda castrated herself, electorally speaking of course.

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SEEEE! Same expression on her face.

And, if that’s the case, she would still have a chance to go on to another great career on television as a member of the cast of that show I mentioned…….which would then be called, “Three Broke Girls.”

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Well…..at least one guy got it….and HE’S not smiling. WAIT! Maybe he IS smiling! Um…er…..maybee not……

 

 

Just sayin.’

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Hi, I’m Joni Ernst…..please, somebody, help me wipe this damn smile off of my face

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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