You know that old saying, “If you haven’t used anything that’s in your house for over a year, throw it out.” Which goes along with yet another old saying which I used to use frequently when I was employed at a phone company and had to review complicated service orders for new phone service, “When in doubt, throw it out.” Worked for me.
Sooooo, being extremely bored outta my tree yesterday, I said to myself, “Self, look at all this stuff/junk you’ve accumulated over the years….WTF are ya gonna do with it?”
To which self replied, “Beats the f**k outta me.”
And…to get off the beaten path for a sec, it also brought to mind an old song by Patti LaBelle and the Bluebells, “I Sold My Heart To The Junkman.”
Sorry, I tend to digress a lot. It’s a sickness that old disc jockeys have when one word like, in this instance, “junk” enters my mind and I immediately think of an old song. Also gives me an excuse to put that song in today’s blog for no reason other than to take up space.
Ok….enough of that nonsense.
So, I ventured down to our basement and began stacking up all of the old stuff I have, took a photo of it, listed it on eBay, and said for a mere $100 bucks take it all. Thinking that someone, anyone, would bid on all that stuff simply because they’re into collecting old stuff or may be closet hoarders and need more stuff to add to their stuff because if you’re a hoarder you simply can’t have enough stuff.
Of course being inundated with a lot of stuff, I couldn’t offer shipping on all that stuff because if you ship all that stuff the post office will charge you an arm and a leg to ship stuff. Stuff costs a lot of money to ship. And I have a lot of stuff.
On top of all that stuff, besides the cobwebs on top of all that stuff, my other half had stuff she figured she’d get rid of too. The only difference in her stuff and my stuff was that her stuff was still in boxes and were new. If you can call having a collection of unopened Barbie dolls stuff that is.
So, I went ahead and listed her stuff and my stuff on eBay but nobody wanted any of our stuff. Probably because, for one,I wouldn’t ship the stuff, so that narrowed it down to anyone who might live within stuff pickup travelling distance.
The other reason I think is that MY stuff is old, so most likely anyone interested in my stuff would have to be old as well. Or, as I said, a hoarder. As far as my other half’s stuff, no one might have been interested because who gives a rats ass about Barbie dolls these days.
Had she had a collection of giant inflatable blow up Barbie dolls, THEN I’m sure those would have sold.
I DID think about using the old “memorabilia” tactic” for selling my “stuff” but my front yard isn’t big enough.
So, here I am stuck with all this stuff and I sure as hell do not wanna stuff all this stuff back into the place where I stuffed it all in the first place. In a closet with yet more stuff.
Hence why I wrote this stuff blog today. That and the fact I wanted to have that excuse to put Patti Labelle’s song in here and have a new generation hear it, and perhaps appreciate what great music was. Um….strike that…..appreciate what type of inane music we older fossils listened to when we were young. While we were into collecting stuff……like Patti Labelle’s record.
Which by the way would be considered “stuff” if you have a copy of that on a 45 rpm record or an LP. Come to think of it I still have 45’s and LP’s. Which, as I said, IS more stuff.
OMFG!!!!! Does this mean “I’M” a freakin’ hoarder?????
(calling my shrink)
“Hello, this is Doctor Freebish.”
“Doc….Doc….this is Misfit. I need to ask you a question.”
“Ok Meesefeet, vat iss da problem?”
“Am I a hoarder if I have a lot of old stuff in my basement?”
“You havf a whore in der basement and she iss old?”
“No…no..no……stuff….I have stuff, lots of it in my basement and I need to get rid of it. So does wanting to get rid of it mean I’m not a hoarder?”
“Vell, if you vant to get rid of her just give her a few bucks and tell her to be on her way and den you vill no longer be a whorer.”
“DOC…….IT’S STUFF…..STUFF I’M HOARDING…..NOT A WOMEN FOR CRIPES SAKE!!!!!
“Oh. vell why didn’t you say so. In dat case, just throw da stuff out der window and you iss cured.”
“Ok….thanks Doc. But, um, wouldn’t trying to sell it to make a few bucks be a better idea?’
“Vell den, you are back to being a whore yourself.”
So, not having any luck on eBay I decided to post that photo of all my stuff on all my unsociable media sites and take my shrinks advice and become a “stuff whore.”
And I’ll simply call it a “Red Light Sale.”
Red Light Sale……….(yet another feeble opportunity to post another song) Sorry, as I said, it’s a sickness.
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