I don’t get it. Why TF would Kim Robert Young Un want with my computer information?
Oh, wait….sorry, got his name wrong there. Sorry Kim. No disrespect intended.
His real name is Kim Jong-Un. He succeeded his father, Kim Jong-il, who WAS il…or ill, and died. Which is most likely why he calls himself “un” rather than “il.” Why tempt fate.
So all of a sudden I’m getting all kinds of either Chinese or Korean words at the very top of my computer. Like this……이 봐, 부적합 지독한 바보. 우리는 당신의 컴퓨터에 포르노 파일에 해킹. 나 나 나 나 나 나 나!
And, I never had anything to do with Sony’s “The Interview” movie either. WTF!
I don’t even own a movie theater. Never planned on seeing that movie “The Interview.” Never called Kimmy any names other than Kimmy. And really don’t give a rats ass what the hell he does over there in North Korea.
Honest! Do what the f**k you want with your own country Kim. It’s YOUR country so run it any way you want to. Again, I personally do not give a rats ass. Probably even Korean rats don’t even give their own asses what you do.
But leave my freakin’ computer alone. Otherwise you’re asking for trouble pal.
Yeah, I got connections ya know. Ever deal with the Mafia? Huh….have ya?
Well neither have I, but being Italian I’m sure I can call a few of my old relatives and have them infect your damn computer with all kinds of Italian language. Works both ways ya know.
And my Mafia friends own a lot of fishes which you could be sleeping with if ya don’t knock off all this computer hacking stuff. Um, hope you don’t own any horses either.
Now look Kim. I’m just an ordinary run of the mill garden variety Internet blogger writing stuff that half of Americans could care less about. So why should you worry about it. Knock off with those Korean graphics at the top of my computer. It’s very annoying.
Only because I don’t have a freakin’ clue what any of it says. I mean, if something like, “Hey Yankee, you dishonor our supreme leader on your computer and we here in the People’s Republic of North Korea are gonna get really pissed off and delete your porno picture file.” Then…..then I’d panic.
But I really can’t go into a state of panic if ya keep sending those messages in Korean. Cripes, I have enough trouble as it is trying to understand Sean Connery when he talks, or those “LOL” or “LMFAO” abbreviations. Ya expect me to decipher Korean?
Maybe your problem with getting uptight all of the time is that you’re short and get a lot of grief from taller guys around you. I can relate to that. I’m short too. See….we have something in common.
Just ban shoes with heels on them and make a deal with John Travolta or someone to buy all of his high platform disco shoes from the 70’s and ya got it made. Oh yeah, get rid of anyone in your inner circle who’s taller than you. Or better yet, hire only dwarfs.
Hey, watch those Munchkins in the “Wizard of Oz” if ya wanna get my point. That wizard wasn’t stupid ya know. He was the tallest guy in Oz. That is of course if you haven’t threatened the movie studio that made The Wizard of Oz for showing all those short people and think it was patterned after you. Might wanna cut them some slack there.
As far as that comedy movie “The Interview” you’re all upset about, hey, it’s just a freakin’ comedy movie for cripes sake. So what if it was about assassinating your butt. Can’t ya take a damn joke.
Did ya hear ME get all bent outta shape over Randy Newman’s song “Short People?” NO! Where the f**k were ya when I needed ya then?
Make your own movie and have it about assassinating Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck. American icons. That’ll get you even with those studios.
But leave my damn computer alone!
Otherwise I will really get pissed off and start photo shopping your face on various cartoon characters, all of them short, and with bad haircuts. So there!
Or…..even worse!!!!!!! As long as we’re on the subject of bad haircuts……
Or even worse worse. I’ll photo shop your face on each and every one of those Oz Munchkins and plaster it all over North Korea via a remote drone I have that will drop those pictures everywhere. See……I can play hardball too.
So let’s reach an agreement here Kimmy. I won’t f**k around with your image if you get rid of those Korean graphics on my computer. Fair deal.
Oh yeah…..if you agree to my compromise, PLEASE…….send the damn message in freakin’ English.
Or…..seeing that you do like American action movies, (excluding the one where they wanna kill your butt) hire Sean Connery to deliver the message to me. At least, even though I still have trouble understanding him, I think I could still figure it out.
After all, when he said that famous line in one of his movies, “Take the shub down,” I knew he meant “Take the sub down.”
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