As always, being completely oblivious to what the hell is happening in the world, I had no freakin’ clue as to what the word “Eurocentric” meant when I read it in an article recently.
I initially thought it meant something like if you were from Europe and kind of a eccentric type person. Sounded logical to me. But, alas, I was mistaken.
So, before I proceed to the latest politically correct term and how it affects our otherwise mundane lives, here’s the definition:
focusing on European culture or history to the exclusion of a wider view of the world; implicitly regarding European culture as preeminent.
Which basically means, in layman’s terms, for stoopid people such as myself, anything that relates to stuff that happened in Europe. Or, if you live in Europe and ARE an eccentric person. Whatever.
Sooooo. How does this affect all of us? Well, it seems that those politically correct people are now totally going ballistic over such holidays as Columbus Day, saying that it’s “Eurocentric” and should not be called Columbus Day because this is the Yew-United-States of America and Columbus was European.
OMFG! What to do?
So, here’s what they did. And this is sooooooo brilliant….if you’re a freakin’ a**hole politically correct in your face and mine type idiot. You simply go to your local town council, as they did in Seattle, Washington, Berkeley, California and Minneapolis, Minnesota and change Columbus Day to, (OMFG) “Peoples Day.”
YES! Columbus Day will now be known as “Peoples Day” in those cities. Most likely because, as I said, Columbus was Eurocentric and Mario van Peebles, who I assume will now take Columbus’ place, is an honest to goodness Americancentric. Makes sense to me.
Now, of course you know what’s going to be coming down the ol pike next. Besides toll booths that is.
Renaming other holidays that may have a tinge of Eurocentric in them.
Presently these are the holidays we celebrate:
|New Year’s Day
Martin Luther King Day
third Monday in January
third Monday in February
last Monday in May
first Monday in September
second Monday in October
fourth Thursday in November
But, other than screwing around with Columbus Day, most of these holidays are somewhat safe from the politically correct crowd. The one exception being Christmas, which offends a lot of off the wall we don’t have a freakin’ life people, who cringe at the word “Christmas” and would rather have it called something else so that instead of “Merry Christmas,” you’d simply say, “Happy Holidays.”
After all, Christ was born in Bethlehem, which is part of Asia so that would make him Asiacentric.
But what about all the other days we celebrate here in America? Could those days be up for scrutiny by the politically correct too?
Like the Chinese New year (1/31) Should that be renamed, “The Chinese New Year But Only If You Were Born In America New Year? “CNYBOIYWBIA” for short.
Then there’s “National Wear Red Day,” ( 2/7) which could be interpreted as leaning towards celebrating Russia. Let’s go with something less offensive. Like “National Beige Day” or something.
“Texas Independence Day” (3/2) I personally have an issue with. It should be “Sam Houston” day as he was the one who spearheaded independence for Texas and also gave us those talented singers, Thelma and Whitney Houston. I think.
“Prince Jonah Kuhio Kalanianaole Day” (3/26) celebrated in Hawaii, which is now part of the United States. So my politically correct friends, should that be shortened to simply “Prince Day” so as not to offend the rest of us here on the mainland. Besides, the singer Prince could also get in on the action if it were simply shortened to “Prince Day.” As well as the makers of “Prince Spaghetti and Pasta sauce”.
Cripes, even Cesar Chavez, founder of the National Farm Workers Union and a Mexican American, has his own day, (3/31) What does THAT make him? Mexiamercentric? Let’s change that one too and while we’re at it pay some homage to another great American, Sid Caesar. Two birds with one stone…..or ear of corn.
Here’s another guy we honor. Leif Erickson, (10/9) WTF!
Erickson was from Iceland, which is considered part of Europe, so where the hell are those politically correct people when it comes to leaves…um…..sorry, I meant Leaf. Obviously Leif was Eurocentric too. So Leif Erickson Day should be renamed, Fall Leaf Day as far as I’m concerned.
Finally, this last one most definitely will never be the next target of those PC police people. And this is “Indigenous Peoples Day, (10/13)
Defined, that means:
“Having a set of specific rights based on their historical ties to a particular territory, and their cultural or historical distinctiveness from other populations that are often politically dominant.”
Meaning that these people can’t be pinned down to any particular country so they can’t be labeled as “Eurocentric” because who the f**k knows where the hell they’re from. So they’re basically playing it safe.
“Soooooo. I see that you’re one of those indigenous type people. So which country are ya from anyhow and what are your beliefs pal?”
“Screw you buddy. I know what you’re tryin’ to do. Pin me down to a specific country and then you’ll attack my beliefs and my holiday celebrations. So f**k off!”
“Cripes pal, no need to get all bent outta shape here. I was just wonderin’ because you’re wearing a yarmulke, a long flowing robe with a hoodie, a chain with a cross around your neck, and a Hillary for President button on one lapel and a Jeb Bush button on the other. WTF does that make you?”
“Um….politically correct for ANY occasion pal.”
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