Who Are Worse? Debt Collectors or Lawyers?

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Come Onnnnnnnnnnnn Down….Let’s Make A Deal

There are a lot of lawyer cartoons out there, some of which I couldn’t resist posting today, because that’s what I do best, which is piss people off, like lawyers, and in addition to lawyers, debt collectors.

Oh yeah……just for good measure, the people at my local Krispy Kreme donut shop. (Mohegan Sun Casino)

Now today I kind of find myself in a quandary. Like deciding which one of these groups are the worst. Lawyers, (known in many circles as sharks, ambulance chasers, and sharks) or debt collectors, (commonly referred to as bloodsuckers) No disrespect to actual bloodsuckers.

Kinda of a toss-up there. Ya think.

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On the one hand, the only advantage lawyers have is that in some instances you DO require their services. Whereas in the case of debt collectors, no one other than people who are owed debts require their services. Usually people like credit card companies, various businesses, and the IRS.

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Subtitled: “JAWS.”

Actually, the IRS has their own debt collection staff known as the Gestapo. Because they, unlike regular debt collectors, can take whatever they want from you and you have no recourse. Such as garnishing your Social Security checks, bank accounts, and in some instances your first-born child to settle a government owed IRS debt.

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Um, I think it’s a visit from some guy named Bruno

BUT……now comes the ultimate in debt collecting. Worse even, and I say this begrudgingly, because these people, even though the IRS is by far the worst, these people are putting people s lives in danger. Literally!

Step forward, as an example, C.A.G Acceptance of Mesa, Arizona, a money-lender who most likely got the following debt collection idea from the Mafia…..minus finding a dead horse’s head in your bed or making you sleep with da fishes.

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Mr. Ed!!! Oh Noooooooo!!!!

In a story reported by the “New York Times” and reporters Michael Corkery and Jessica Silver-Greenberg, they document how this lender goes about collecting debts without even lifting a finger.

Um…well, I stand corrected. They DO lift a finger, which is used to push a button that enables them to disable your vehicle if you are behind on your payments.

Sooooo…….how does this work you ask? Well, I’ll tell ya.

You’re driving along the Interstate doing 75 mph and all of a sudden, just as you’re about to pass that huge semi, your vehicle shuts down, your steering wheel locks up, you have no brakes and, SHAZAM! you’re dead (possibly literally) in the water.

Why? Because companies such as C.A.G. Acceptance has this device that enables them to disable your vehicle because there is this tiny gizmo in some newer vehicles located within the dashboard that allows them to do that.

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Usually a debt collector

I love this quote from the article by Lionel M. Vead, who is the head of collections at First Castle Credit Union in Covington, Louisiana. “I have disabled a car while I was shopping at a Wal-Mart.”

This guy loves his job so much, and, apparently gets off on shutting down cars for lack of payments that he even does this while shopping in a Wal-Mart.

“Dear, could you grab me a loaf of bread and a quart of milk while you’re in the dairy aisle.”

“Oh sure honeeee. Just a sec. I’m in the middle of shutting down some jerks car for missing a payment.” (click)

(Meanwhile out on the Santa Monica Freeway)

“Authorities are completely mystified as to why a 2013 Chrysler van suddenly came to a screeching halt on the Interstate causing a massive pileup.”

(Meanwhile back at Wal-Mart in the entertainment department))

“Honeee. I think we should avoid the Santa Monica Freeway. I see there’s a massive car accident there. Look at the video on those TV’s Wal-Mart has on display.”

“Oh yeah…….awful. Just awful. HEY! Wait a second. Motherf**ker! That Chrysler van all smashed to smithereens is financed by my company. Son-of-a-bitch!!!!!!!”

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Hey Marvin. Some guy named Sieg Heil on line two for you

Think that can’t happen? Take the case of Mary Bolender who lives in Las Vegas and needed to get her daughter to an emergency room because she had a 103.5 degree fever but her 2005 Chrysler wouldn’t start. Yep….you guessed it.

Bolender was a whopping THREE DAYS behind on her monthly car payment, (a very grievous offense) and C.A.G. Acceptance activated that device in her car and prevented it from starting.

According to the article, this is happening to people who purchase vehicles who have credit scores, (unlike baseball scores) at or below 640. These loans are called “subprime” due to the credit level you have.

“Some borrowers have complained that their vehicles were disabled when they were only a few days behind on their payments leaving them stranded in dangerous neighborhoods. Others while at stop lights, and in one instance, a woman who WAS driving on the freeway.”

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(sniff) How compassionate and caring

Yes, you will know if one of these “terminator” devices are in your car because you would have to consent to having them installed when you purchased the car. So, it’s not like you have no clue that it’s there.

BUT……you would think that, as in the case of that bozo shopping in Wal-Mart who shut down a vehicle, they would at least do it in the wee hours of the morning when most people are sleeping rather than during the day when you could perhaps be being chased by your mistresse’s angry boyfriend or something.

Worse case scenario yet. You’re robbing a bank and they shut down your vehicle just as you jump in the car to make your get-a-way. Bastards.

In that case, carrying a moped in your trunk might be worth thinking about. Unless they too have those devices installed. Then, you’re  basically screwed.

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F**K!!!!

The solution to this problem, as I see it, is to, 1. Never agree to having those devices installed in your vehicle. Screw them bastards.

2. Always buy a used car or something that you can pay cash for. Or that nobody wants to ever repossess. Like a 1955 Nash Rambler.

3. If you insist on owning one of these cars with devices, and you’re a bank robber, always pull your bank jobs the day before your payment is due.

THEN……if you DO manage to pull off a successful bank job, you can use that money to actually pay off your car or at least be up to date on your payments.

BUT…..if you’re stupid enough to ignore my advice, and your vehicle is shut down while you’re pulling a bank job, you’ll obviously need a really good lawyer, which, is kinda a lose lose situation. When it comes to deciding who is the worst. Those debt collectors or those lawyers.

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Ok pal….checkbook and wallet on the front stairs

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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3 Responses to Who Are Worse? Debt Collectors or Lawyers?

  1. katydidknot says:

    I work with lawyers. Without knowing more than that – like what kind of law they practice – it’s tough to make generalizations about them.

    Some lawyers are debt collectors, though, and those guys don’t stand a chance.

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